disciplining your child in a public place?

Question

My daughter is at an age where she has really started to test me...especially in public places i.e. the grocery store, restraunts
It is VERY embarassing when she does it! Her favorite thing to do is squeal and I mean SQUEAL as loud as she can if she isn't getting her way. Usually if I don't let her run wild in the store or won't let her put everything she sees into the basket. I have tried bringing along books, snacks, juice, toys, anything to occupy/entertain her and I always wait until after her nap so I know it's not because she's sleepy. It's just very frustrating!! People look at me like "you need to get control of that child" & I don't blame them! Any ideas?? She rarely acts this way with her daddy!

by the way, she is two years old. kinda hard to reason with!

Answer 1

I feel that you should spank her right when she has the tantrum. She needs to know that what she is doing at that time is wrong. If you wait until later she won't understand why you are spanking her. It seems like the dad stands his ground with her. She know that dad won't put up with her mess like mom will. Kids are smart and they know who to do what with. Good Luck with disciplining her.

Answer 2

Leave the store immediately with her and tell her in the car or home that her you had to leave the store because what she was doing was not acceptable. Tell her you are very sad as you didn't get what you needed, but hope that next time she will do better. She has to have a consequence for the bad behaviour. Now I know this means you have to go without what you needed at the store, but go later without her.
If she likes to have things, maybe you could bribe her for good behavior, it can be something small, but give her a reason to behave. Take something she likes away for a short time if she misbehaves and she can earn it back if she behaves?
It is a tough stage to go through and you need to stay strong. It will benefit you both in the long run.
Good luck and do not worry about the people looking at you.

Answer 3

She probably rarely acts this way with daddy because daddy won't put up with it. My daughter acted up ONCE in a mall while we were shopping, I promptly took her to the car, home and called the neighbor to see if I could bring her over there (we lived in an area where we all watched each other's kids in a pinch) I explained to my daughter that she behaved inappropriatly and had lost the privelige of going to the mall (she was a very social toddler and loved being at the mall with all the people) she didn't go back for six months, when finally she was able to convince me that she would never behave inappropriately ever again...she will be 21 years in a couple of weeks and to this day has not acted up in a public place since that one time. She knows I wouldn't put up with it.

Answer 4

This is exactly what she is doing, testing you. You need to let her know that you are still the boss no matter where you are. Drop what you are doing, don't say a word. Grab her by the hand and bring her out to the car, and give her a timeout.

She probably doesn't act up with Daddy because he's strict with her. If she understands her boundaries and understands you will not put up with nonsense from her she'll stop.

Answer 5

My child doesn't get spanked and she behaves wonderfully most of the time and she TRUSTS me. I am the adult- I am the one in control, even if she can not control herself. IMO spanking shows your child lack of self control.

If I am in public and my child begins to throw a fit- I let her. I move her to the side out of everyone's way and let her throw her fit. She usually realizes within 15 seconds that she is being ignored and that the behavior won't be tolerated. If she keeps throwing the fit we simply go home and she goes straight to bed. If she is going to act bratty then she is going to go home and take a nap- two things she hates. Also, she knows I will not take her back to where ever it was where she threw the fit at for a longgggg time. We rarely deal with fits anymore.

Answer 6

Tell her before you leave home that there will be consequences to pay if she acts up in the store. Be firm and stick with it. Sit her in a time out chair or take something away that she truly loves, like a toy. Maybe if she is good on one trip you can let her stay up for 10 minutes longer at night. I wouldn't reward her with treats and dont reward her everytime. She needs to learn she can't push you around. You are the mom.

Answer 7

Well, it's not going to be fun but I think you have to leave where you are and go put her in a time out in the car EVERY TIME NO MATTER WHAT. A friend suggested doing a few fake outings so that you're not ruining a real shopping trip or whatever, and I thought that was a good idea.

Answer 8

oh my god!! i think we must have the same child!!! hahaah...my daughter has been doing this for months, and i try at all costs to avoid taking her if at all possible . (But that never happens!!) I actually had a lady say to me when my daughter was having a "moment", 'Why don't you just pick her up and get her out of here already!" Man... i was MAD...i had my hands full of bags of groceries and i have another child....some people are so inconsiderate. Good luck & you are not the only one this happens too!!!

Answer 9

I know exactly what you're talking about. The best advice I can give you is to not let her squealing get to you, get the shopping done quickly, and don't worry about what others think. Let them stare, just focus on your child and getting your errands done. I know it's very stressful. My daughter went through that, and like your daughter, she wasn't half as naughty when she was out with her daddy.

Answer 10

spanking won't help http://www.stophitting.com/disathome/factsAndFiction.php

Sounds like she needs some positive reinforcement when she's behaving and when she misbehaves, leave the store (and don't go do something fun). Once she figures out you'll follow through, she'll behave for you, too. Just be ready to leave stores for awhile. It will probably take about 10 times depending on her age. Best of luck to you!