She doesn't like that I hang out with girls. No, she doesn't care if I do it, she care's that I have a want to do so. I have the same problem, so I proposed a system/plan, similar to that of my parents. I said that we should be a couple and help eachother makes decisions and if something acn possibly hurt our relationship or start a fight, for the other to intervene. For instance, if I wanted to hang out with a girl, I'd ask my girlfriend and if she were disapproving, I wouldn't do so. It'd be the same for her. If I didn't like a guy she wanted to hang out with for whatever reason, I'd ask her not to, and hope she wouldn't. I don't know what to do. I'm not sure if we have trust issues or what. She says that my "want" to hang out with the opposite sex is a sign that she's not doing something right or that she's a terrible girlfriend- and it's nothing like that. Any advice? Thanks ahead of time =]
2007-01-06 11:44:13 · 21 answers · asked by baby_wrestler 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly, if she won't agree with this plan, then there isn't anything you can do to make her do so. I actually had a similar situation with an ex. He loved hanging out with girls, but would get jealous when I hung out with some guys. The only solution we came up with is that I had to stop hanging out with my guy friends completely, unless he was with me and he couldn't hang out with girls unless I was there. It worked out, helped grow our trust in one another.
I hope this helps.
2007-01-06 11:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by Ammie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I've had similar problems with some of my ex-boyfriends. I get along better with guys than girls. Not that I'm a tomboy, quite the opposite actually but I feel like guys cause less drama than girls and I like being around guys more. In fact, my best friend is the only girl I hang out with on a regular basis. The rest of my friends are guys. When I started dating my current boyfriend, I let him know that I WOULD be hanging out with my guy friends and that if he had a problem, our relationship wouldn't work. Your g/f does have trust issues, but I can see where she's coming from. You're handling it in a great way, wanting to talk things out and comprimise. She needs to try go grow up a little bit. Or maybe you can find someone who wants to be friends with your girl friends too... good luck
2007-01-06 19:49:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, don't do that. You don't want a relationship where you two are constantly telling each other that you can't do something. Your gf is way off base here. Your "want" to hang out with other girls is a sign that you have a penis. She is jealous, insecure, and doesn't trust you. Your parents are grownups, and are bounded together through holy matrimony, do not apply the same solutions they did to your 9th grade gf. You two have to be open, honest, and trust each other. I know... it sounds crazy. So, if I make any sense to you. Have a talk with your gf. Tell her you're not mind if she hangs out with other guys. Tell her you trust her and know she loves you...yada yada ya. Say you don't want to have a relationship where you have to tell each other what not to do. Tell her that you have female friends, that's it just friends, and that your friends are important to you and no one can pick your friends for you. Trust me boss, you're looking at a world of hurt if you take the other road.
2007-01-06 19:59:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Why don't you all hang out together wtih your friends of the opposite sex?
2. and if you guys can't agree on something then you should go separate ways. You have major trust issues and those either need to be acknowledged or left behind.
2007-01-06 19:57:44 · answer #4 · answered by marisa_g1rl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not a trust issue it's insecurity mostly you say you want to hang with other women she thinks 'he would rather be with other women than me what am I doing wrong what do they give him that I can't. These other women do they know he is committed to me? will they think he is a free agent? will they try to steal him? I know I can trust him. I think he is the greatest but if I think he is this wonderful what stops them from thinking it. if I were one of these women he visits I'd be all over him trying to steal him from his girlfriend.' your best bet is to bring your girlfriend along introduce her to your female friends let her get to know them a bit and mark you as her territory. as she gets to know them she might relax a lot more about you visiting them on your own.
2007-01-06 20:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Jay The Jester 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have faith...your girlfriend seems to have security issues with you. She does not feel safe leaving you alone with other females, you seem to also have this issue. Start with small steps of trust and growth, then move it up. Be very very very supportive of your girlfriend, she seems to also have a low self-esteem and could use your support. Once she and you feel safe and comfortable together and alone you will begin to grow stronger. Good luck!
2007-01-06 19:49:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you've already tried talking with each other and it was unsuccessful. What do your friends think? Have you considered talking with a counsellor together or separately? If either of you are in school, there are free counselling services and you may be able to both go together for couple's counselling.
Good luck.
2007-01-06 19:53:24 · answer #7 · answered by zandyandi 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
its either trust issues or ur gf is crazy, no offense but just cause u want to hang out with a girl doesnt mean she is a bad gf and if she thinks that then she needs to figure out why she thinks that good luck man
2007-01-06 19:51:01 · answer #8 · answered by cassandra d 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know you don't it, but, your girlfriend is acting normally.
It's natural for a man to want to surround himself with many girls. It's natural for a man to fantasize about being sexually active with several girls at once. However, all that only makes being faithful to your girlfriend all the more impossible.
My advice to you is to admit that your desires aren't the best for establishing the kind of relationship that would benefit a healthy marriage. I would say that the only time you should be socializing with other girls is when your girlfriend is present to supervise.
2007-01-06 19:52:44 · answer #9 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
join the club.
Sadly its hopeless.
You gotto choice between her and a more open minded girl. Lot of times wat happens you try for both and wste years feeling miserable and you lose everything. Thats what happened to me.
In my case, when I look at my goals, I kind of regret I did not just go with her the way she wants and start family ect, etc. I hate my sitution.
My advice? Choice and choose fast, or you will love EVERYTHING.
P.S. It wont matter whether those female friends have boy friends or not.
2007-01-06 19:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by rostov 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋