I can't stop this pain, can't control these feelings. What the heck?

Question

So, there's a guy... (well, isn't there always?)

This guy is older... and, attractive (in my eyes...)
He's funny, smart, has a great sense of humor, has been through alot...
and is just someone that I feel like I can relate to...
You know when you have a dream person all planned out in your head? Well, he's pretty much that. From the day I met him, I felt something for him.

But, the thing is, I've heard bad things about him though, really bad...
He has his bad points, he does weird things, sometimes he doesn't treat people all that nice...
but, I can understand where he comes from, even though I can't always agree with his actions...

Most people don't believe that he's a good person, though... He's disliked by many.

I don't know what to do. I keep trying to tell myself that I don't care about him. Every single day that I wake up, I tell myself that he's a jerk, that I don't love him...
But it doesn't seem to be working. I can't control these feelings I have for him.

I think about him every second of the day... Last night, I was doing good, until someone mentioned his name, and I literally fell apart.
What the hell am I going to do? How do you stop yourself from caring about someone that you know you shouldn't?
I won't even mention the fact that I don't have a snowball's chance in hell with him...
Just being around him, though, makes me so happy... I feel like an ***. A total loser.
Someone, help?

I was hoping that it was just a physical attraction, that's what I thought...
But if that was it, why would I be feeling like this? Why do I feel like I'm in constant pain?.. in a daze... why does being around him make me so... happy?

Answer 1

That's the physical attraction calling. The chemical callings of lust. The sooner you acknowledge that you are just having sexual attraction, the sooner you can get on with life. Go out and find a healthier object of your attention.

Answer 2

Hmm, this is hard. You seem to really really like him. Don't tell yourself not to like him, tell yourself that you accept the fact that you do and you're going to do everything to move on. But I think the question is do you like him enough to be with him? If a lot of people dislike him and think he's a bad person, then they must all have a reason right? Did he do something to them personally? Think about all the bad things you've heard about him - place yourself in the position of his girlfriend. Would you find yourself upset at some of the things he does or says if you were his girlfriend? Do you think you could be happy with someone who treats other people badly - possibly even friends and family members?

The choice is really all up to you. If you really, really like him but you know that he's a jerk, then there's really not much you can do when it comes to emotions this strong. You can either go for him or just accept it and move past him. Maybe he might see a completely different person from those he's known in you, if you can see past whatever it is that turns people away from him, he might be less inclined to push YOU away. I say your best bet is to be friends with him first, see what type of person he really is without any romantic strings attached. If he's a good friend to you, then maybe he's not such a bad person after all.

Answer 3

Physical attraction can also be painful just as emotional. Why do you think you don't have a chance with him? Need more info on that part.
As for him being "bad"....is this all rumor or do you know it for a fact? What kind of "bad" things does he do? Sit down with a paper and pen and make two columns. One pro and one con. Now fill it in. Study it carefully...now be honest, is this someone you want to be with? Many times the "good" girl is really infatuated by the "bad" boy. Look at Grease for instance with Danny and Sandy.....When I was in high school, I was the Sandy and fell head over heals for the "Danny". My parents were shocked....We have been married for 40 years so it did work out. You need to really look hard at the "total him" and take a good look at the "total" you. It worked for Sandy and it worked for me but only you can know how "bad" this guy really is.

Answer 4

Sometimes people want what they can't have or want what is not good for them. It's called a challenge! Listen if he is not nice then you need to steer clear of him and be determined to do so. If he has a bad reputation and is disliked by many people, then you should forget him right now or you could get into trouble.
What you need to do is NOT dwell on someone that is bad---go out with your freinds, do things, talk on the phone, anything but Do Not think of this mean person. You will meet the right one when it's time so until then steer clear and keep busy with your freinds. Sweetie, you will meet someone, there is someone for everyone. Stay strong and Good Luck!

Answer 5

Ok I dont know the entire story so I can't sit here and give you a full fledged opinion. But what I can say, is firstly age is just a number. Secondly it is yoru heart you should be true to, no one elses. If this is a man you choose to carry on a relationship with, then that's your choice. And even if in the end it did end up to be a mistake, its your priveledge to make because that's how you learn. Now, if your saying that you know for a fact this is a bad guy, and that everyone is right. Then you should get over him. It's hard ot get over someone when they are constantly in your mind, you need a lot of determination, and time. You have to get rid of thinks that remind you of him, forbid your friends to speak of him. And stop seeing him. Once your over him things will be different, but until then hearing of him will only make it worse. You have to follow your heart though, if you see good in this man then go for it, but if you see nothing but bad then save yourself the heartache. You deserve better....Good luck!

Answer 6

putting your self by hell for your daughter sends the incorrect message to her: might want to you want her to sacrifice her existence a similar way you're? she will be able to lose appreciate for YOU once she's an human being - fairly if she has terrible guilt every time she tries doing issues to make HERSELF chuffed. slightly female needs her dad - little question - yet to have him on the fee of her mom's happiness is merely too massive of a burden to emphasize on a gentle baby, too. you're risking extremely screwing up your daughter's thoughts by being dishonest such as her about your emotions, what marriage is meant to be, what being a ascertain potential - she will be able to not have any idea what to imagine about any of those issues if there is no honesty in her existence! Get out and make a existence for your self the position you're chuffed. she will be able to a thanks to be at liberty too.

Answer 7

this is not a feeling, this is your attraction.Try to find other person or try to divert your mind by keeping your self busy. whenever you miss him, sought loudly no........no.........no and your mind will be under control, go in some groups and never be alone. But still if you love him and if he love you than do this thing. If you want to be happy with him, never think of his bad habbit. Whenever you get angry about his bad manner, remind the good things and good habbits that he possess.

Answer 8

If you truly believe he is right for you then you should go after him. If you understand where his behaviors are coming from and you're completely attracted to him then go for him. Don't let other's feelings and judgments get to your head.

Answer 9

you do truely like/love him if you can't get over him, but what you have to do is try to stay away from him, try not to think about him, tell your friends to not talk about him, over time you should drift away from the feelings you're having

Answer 10

my best advice is to try again with him (if you went out with him)
it could by phyiscal attcation, but it also be that you love him, so my best advice is to follow your heart.

good luck