How can a woman politely tell a man who she is in a love relationship with to be financially independent?

Question

Especially when the man have a low paying seasonal job with no stable income, claims that he's struggling to start a business of his own, asks the woman for money ($25, $10) every now and then, relies heavily on the woman for small things like movies tickets or even his own train fare, doesn't assist in paying for groceries and seem to be completely penniless all the time? The person claims he was doing extremely well a couple of years back. He lives with his mother, no car and he is almost half a century old. Did I mention this person seems to be sitting peacefully at home monday through friday with the exception for when called for seasonal jobs here and there?
Any advice how this person can get his act together??!!

Answer 1

I'd exit stage left. What could this guy possibly offer to a relationship? He doesn't sound responsible. I met a man a while back who was being supported by his mother and was a chronic pot smoker. He hadn't worked in 4 years and was 46 years old! That was all the information I needed to beat a hasty retreat.

I say let him go. There are "better" fish in the sea.

Answer 2

You can't make a guy like that change. If he is that old and still living with mom without a truly valid reason (there are valid reasons, like because he has to help take care of his parents, has trouble making it with the job he does has, for instance he works full time but doesn't make enough to be on his own, is on disability (has health problems so another person being around is absolutely necessary) or because he is truly having problems at the moment that will change within say 6 months) then he is used to someone else taking care of him. He has no plans to ever work and will soon be looking for you to take care of him all the time (it will happen gradually-with self pity stories he will tell you-you may have already heard these). I suggest you not help him out anymore and help him find a job. If not, hang it up, it's a hopeless cause.

Answer 3

Hi Angel !!!

Sorry, I have BAD NEWS for you!!! HE WON"T< GET A JOB ANY SOON !!!

Ask him to leave the sooner the better that is not fair, he is just using you!! And the more you help him the more he will rely on you to the point, that when you don;t have any money or way or or feel like giving him more he will be very upset.

Kick him to the curve, you will be much better and build up on your savings NOT having him depending on you!!!

The situation will NOT help. And if when you ask him to leave he tells you that he lost his job, never mind, it will actually be a lie, or probably he will quit himself just so you feel guilty and let him stay.

You don't need a grown up "BABY" good for nothing!!!
I have a name for this, have you heard of the term, "GIGOLO"
well that's what he is!!! Wake up!!!

GOOD LUCK & HAPPY LIFE

ALLIV Z

Answer 4

A lot of guys have low paying seasonal jobs (construction, agriculture, retail, trucking ect) - and you KNEW he had this kind of job when you started dating him.

Either get used to it or leave him!!

Don't nag him about how you don't like how he handles his finances - he's a grown man and he already has a mommy, he doesn't need another one!!!

It's not a question of "gettting his act together" either!!

America's economy depends on seasonal labor - there are MILLONS of men just like him! So quit acting like this is some personal failing on his part.

Again, just accept him as the man he is or go find yourself some rich guy!

Answer 5

I think we have the same daughter.

grow up does not work.

Most of the guys here are a little leary of me from learning a little of what I did in the army from 2 twins who were in the same unit 10 years later (Some are terriffied)

If you find something that works please let me know via e mail.