help! I need out of the navy?

Question

I am a 24 yo female. recently married and recently found out that I am having a child. I am 3000 miles away from home and I cant take it anymore. Both my husband and myself are miserable here. He cant get a good job and I am hating the politics of being an ensign. Its just not me. I feel its the biggest mistake of my life. How do I get out and what steps do I take? I dont care if its honorable or not. I just want out

Answer 1

First apply for a hardship discharge. My niece had to jump through hoops when she had her son, she was in the Marines, her husband was also. He was already deployed. Her son was born with birth difficulties, he needed not only the care of his mother but also specialized medical care. She was also injured in an accident on the Confidence Course in Boot Camp. Busted her foot bad.

The bastards were still going to send her to Iraq as soon as her baby was born, and tried to tell her (even the Chaplain's office) that there was no provision for remedial action, she was supposed to abandon her child and limp off to war with a Sir yes sir! and eagerness in her heart.

Find a lawyer off base. The ones the Navy provide you with are under orders from the Navy to do what The Navy wants.

Look up peace advocate groups, we have links to such lawyers and a lot of people who have been there done that.

Not suggesting you suddenly develop sleep disorders like sleepwalking or bedwetting, that would be dishonest. Or suddenly for no apparent reason start showing symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

You have enough legal grounds, just from what you wrote, to either get a hardship discharge or waiver, and or a reassignment based on YOUR needs.

I also can't legally suggest mutiny or desertion, so I won't.

Try all the legal methods before going for illegal.

A quasi legal way to do it is to go up and slap the living dog poop out of your Captain. You would get brig time, and a discharge.
But the brig IS a hellhole and you are expecting, so that too would be not good.

Lay it out for a psychologist. They are giving you medical care, probably under champus, right? Talk to a CIVILIAN psychiatrist about it, even if you have to pay out of your own pocket.

Remember, every person in the Navy works for the Navy. They tell you you can't go outside of channels to do things, you actually can, but they don't want you to.
Don't let them fool you. And don't listen to these wannabe terrorists who are going to answer and curse you and tell you you are a traitor

and threaten you because they feel that a pregnant woman would be an easier target.

They threaten me all the time, and I am disabled, but they still can't manage to find the courage to actually carry out their threats.

You don't owe the government anything. The government isn't America, isn't the Nation or the People nor even the representatives of the People.

Answer 2

Ok Allison,

So you want out. What about the OATH you took and the expense of your training? There isn't much with an Ensign but still. If you enlisted for the wrong reason; steady paycheck and all the benefits, then you should be ashamed.

My guess is that you are going through the hormone roller coaster that goes with being pregnant.

Getting out isn't going to change anything unless you want to run home to your parents because the bills and responsibilities will still be there. If you resign or get out with anything less than Honorable then you are screwed for a real career outside. The Navy isn't to blame for your husband's job status. It may that where you are just doesn't offer the kind of job that he is looking for.

If you are in housing you guys aren't starving, but you are not going to buy a big new Lexus either.

I do feel for you because being an Ensign SUCKS! It seems like EVERYONE knows more than you do and you are supposed to lead many of them; TOUGH! Earn their respect with a little humility and a senior NCO will help you out. If you a "WPOS" you will pay.

I was deployed and we got a new Ensign that was a "WPOS" that happened to gave a fetish for his coffee cup (it was a huge thing with the gold Ensign stuff all over it). All he did in CIC was drink coffee and get in the way. He would turn his back on the cup and out of the darkness we would hear "MARK" and a small dot was put on the DRT; he cup had gone over the side. He would go "AS" and we all just looked confused. The "CAP" knew what was going on as did the "XO" and they got a grin out of it too. He went through SIX cups that are housing to baby fish before he brought tool box with a lock into CIC (his coffee cup was inside). The next think that was heard was "MARK" and the whole tool box was GONE to Neptune.

The guy just didn't know what he didn't know, was self-important and the CIC team was on it's second deployment after earning a Battle "E" on the first one; it was tightlly packed in orderly rows and we did NOT need his advise. The "CAP", "OD" and "XO" routinely took our reccommendations for course & speed, fire solutions and even a course to resuce a downed pilot.

I felt sorry for the "KID"...I was 19 at the time and an E-5 section leader aboard a heavy cruiser. We had Westmoreland aboard for a planning session and the Ensign was assigned the chart arrangement in Strike Ops with me. We were just finishing and I noticed that the chart of SVN was hung UPSIDE DOWN! The Ensign went to GREET and KA while I fixed the chart. The poor boy never knew and I didn't say anything; it was simply my DUTY.

I had worked closely with the "CAP" and he called me by my first name in private. He passed on the way out of the meeting and simply said, "Good Catch", I just replied "Aye, Aye".

The bottom line is that it is a good life if you adapt and deal with the pregnancy (suck it up with the hormones). Understand that you don't really know "SH**" and look for a mentor. A senior NCO might even be able to hook your husband up with a good job, but YOUR performance is going to reflect upon him.

Now here is a hint. Most officers below the rank of Commander have a great deal of respect for senior NCO's..a friend of mine was an E-9 on Colin Powells staff. Part of your eval is how you deal with your team so find a good NCO to help you dodge the low branches.

J
USN 1964-

Answer 3

The military life is not for everyone. I am sorry that you feel you made a mistake. It was a mistake to get married while in the Navy. It was a mistake to get pregnant in the Navy. However if you want to dessert your country and break your commitment to your country there are ways to get discharged. Tell them you are a lesbian. Ask for a hardship discharge. Why dont you ask around in your unit and see what they say. Good luck.

Answer 4

Awwwww poor Babies....
Being pregnant used to get you out. But now since you women want to be soldiers and sailors and demand equal everything.I feel you take your time off for birthing and get your snively whiney butt back and do your commitment. Then opt to leave.
As for your hubby...maybe if he had an education he could get a decent job. Ensign pay, today isnt so bad....
Should have thought it out before you signed the contract....Please stay stateside, as it your type that will get real military person killed.

BROTHAJONAH HAS GOOD ADVISE FOR THE CHICKEN LIVERED....hIRE HIM TO BE YOU ADVOCATE......

Answer 5

With a pregnancy you may be eligible for a medical discharge if you are unable to carry out your duties, or if your occupational specialty requires demanding physical labor.Check with a JAG officer. They know what you should do. You didn't mention if your husband was military or not. If he is then you staying in the military would cause a family hardship. For now, Guts it out.

Answer 6

im sorry but i dont think i can help you. but dont do anything irrational yet. my cousin is in the army, he just joined 7 months ago and he cant leave until his 5 year term is over. i think you might know that if he does leave or runaway before its over he would be chased down by the government and sent to jail. so first things first, is there anyone in general you cant talk to and possibly negotiat with of high rank?

Answer 7

My old neighbor got out of the army when she was pregnant with her second child, i'm not sure, but I think that rule applies in the Navy too...Talk to a lady who has a higher rank, she should know.

Answer 8

What is wrong with you? If you think life is hard now, just wait until you get a general discharge. For crying out loud, dig down deep and stick it out!

Answer 9

You are two shameful people.
You have it made. Lots of sailors work hard for years to become an Ensign.
Are you really in the Navy, or are you a little hippie on vacation from school?
A good job????????? Most of us work for years before ever getting a "good job."

Answer 10

You need to talk to a lawyer familiar with military law. Good luck.