Spanking our 8th grader?

Question

Our 8th grade son threw one of the xbox controllers at the TV and put a hole in it. When I confront him he blamed it on his brother even though his brother was outside playing with a friend. He then took the controller and threw it at me. I said, "your grounded buddy and you get work off the damage."

He told me to "shut up" so I told him he just earned a spanking. He laughed at me and said "Dad's not here." So I grabbed him, pulled him over to a chair in the room. He tried to fight me and was yelling "You can't spank me" and "what the hell" ... after a brief struggle i had him subdued and over my lap. I spanked him probably 8 times on his bare bottom with my hand. After about 2 spanks he was crying and begging me to stop. I sent him to his room when after I got done with him. Should I have my husband give him the same treatment when he comes home tonight?

Answer 1

no you did the discipline, your husband wasnt there. one discipline is enough and you did it at the time of the incident kudos to you! the question now is, why is he behaving this way? and does he know what he did was wrong? the throwing, damaging, lying, backtalking and swearing?
good luck and kudos to you for putting a stop to his behavior!

Answer 2

That is not child abuse. You son was out of control and got what he deserved. I think you did a good job teaching him a lesson- that he is not too old to get spanked. And like the girl above me said, don't replace his xbox.

I can tell you right now that If i did that to my mom or if I broke a tv like that, I would not be here typing this right now.

Just tell your husband what your son did and let him decide what to do with him.

Answer 3

Though I believe in Spanking (not hitting) 8th grade is to old to spank. Once they hit that Jr. High age Yes that is too old to spank especially since they know the laws and can know they can tell on parents and go tell authorities if they wish too. But as long as you tell them why you spanked them for what he did wrong, that you should always do.

Don't just spank always give him a reason and have a talk with him afterwards when he calms down. Never spank the kid just because even though you want to teach him a lesson. You only do so when he does something wrong "AT THE TIME" otherwise it is CONSIDERED HITTING AND BEATING your child and YOU DON"T want to be considered bad for doing that.

Answer 4

I feel that you should let your husband give him the same treatment. Kids need to learn how to respect their parents and older adults. They also need to learn how to control their anger. If they learn at a young age then it will be more helpful to them when they grow up. Spanking them is sometimes the only way to teach them. A parent can only talk to the kids so many times before they have to do something else for the kids to understand that what they have done is wrong. I babysit some kids and the things they do I feel that the parent should give them a spanking. All their parents do is talk to them and tell them that what they (kids) did was not nice. So spank him and show him that you care. Also Don't feel bad about it you are trying to help him.

Answer 5

Yes, tell your husband. He was very rude and he deserves what he got and more. I don't believe in spanking children but if you do, I agree with you for doing it. I would have been MAD if my kid had been that bad. And he is only an 8th grader, he's not even that old. He needs to learn how to be more mature. He needs to grow up and be more responsible.

I couldn't agree more with your descision to spank him. Don't feel guilty though. Your husband should punish hum too. Good luck! =)

EDIT: People, this is not child abuse. You are allowed to spank your children. How old are the people who are saying you can't spank your children anyway? You certainly can't control how different people punish their kids.

Answer 6

Yes you should have your husband discipline him as well. You raise your kids how you want. Sounds like he needed a good belt spanking or paddling if you ask me! I think your husband should seriously have him bend over and take the belt. Ive seen the results of ppl who dont spank thier kids. They turn out to be little smarty pants in life!

Answer 7

even though in this country hitting you child is a big issue
I dont htink the cops are going to punish you for smacking him
the moment he did that, nothing gives him the right to disrespect you that will show him that you would not hesitate to do it again. and ground him take everything that he likes. he must be 13 so he knows exactly what he is doing. Smacking him is not going to land you in jail. spanking him either. is not child abuse. remember the crossed the line when he threw the controller at you. let your husband handle it the best way he can. you guys probably have different views. so if his father wants to spank him, so be it

Answer 8

I dont believe in spanking when you spank your child he wont learn from it just have a conversation with him do you want to be a mom where your child is afraid of you? just talk about spanking makes it worse there are much better parenting ways to put sense in your children also that is considered child abuse you can get arrested or in serious trouble

Answer 9

good work! you did the right thing in my opinion! it sounds like that spanking was a long time coming! only you probably shouldn't spank his bare bottom cause you wouldn't want someone claiming you "molested" him.. I know.. it's stupid.. but that's they society we live in..

just make sure he knows exactly why he got spanked! it's not because he threw the controller, it's because of the way he treated his mom! that was EXTREMELY disrespectful! he deserves a lot more than just a spanking in my opinion!

you need to get that behavior under control and fast! you don't have much time left! he'll be stronger than you very soon!

Answer 10

Usually im not for spanking kids that old and especially not bare bottomed but it sounded appropriate to me i probably would have done the same thing im glad you didn't let him get away with it cause it sounds like you husband usually does the disciplining. Although i think you should just have your husband talk to him it doesn't sound like he needs another spanking. He needs to be grounded and he should reimburse you guys for the tv by you takeing away his allowance or him doing chores around the house.

Answer 11

For doing what he did I would have no problem letting dad have a go at him also. 8 slaps on the butt isn't too much at all, it's hardly anything. And it is not illegal or abuse. There is no state in the union where spanking is illegal. But you guys better get control of this kid if this is regular behavior, because to tell his mother to "shut up" with a father living in the house, tells me you are far too light on him and don't enforce good behavior. He's gonna end up doing manual labor with tatoos if he doesn't get a normal understanding of authority relationships in life.