relationship sex?

Question

ive been in a relationship for almost 4 years. Icare for him but i dont think im IN love with him, if we were to break up i would be perfectly fine with it as long as we stay cool and he doesnt go sycho and try to hurt me cuz i broke up with him. Im not 100% happy we dont have s*x all the time, mostly cause he doesnt have his own spot and nighter do i (we are over 21). Another thing that is a problem is my parents want me to move outa state with them ill get the whole house to myself and they will live in the finished and furnished basement (its DEFINETLY like another house down there, kitchen bathroom entrance and 2 rooms) but my bf doesnt want that and doesnt want to move either. WHAT SHOULD I DO???? About the s*x issue and the moving issue. Also bf n i argua alot and hes possesive and i feel like hes tryna control me. i dont feel free, i guess its cuz hes my 2nd bf ive been with him since i was 18 and havent really done anything or gone anywhere i feel 16 :( HELP

Answer 1

get a apartment and a dildo

Answer 2

1-if you dont love him and your ok with breaking up, why do you need his opinion about moving out of state? it should only matter that YOU are the one that wants to move or not. 2- break up with him sooner than later because the more time you spend with him knowing that you dont love him, the more your going to hurt him. this sounds like a serious long term relationship and those need love to keep alive. 4-obviously the sex issue has to do with the chemestry. its either going away or simply not there anymore.

i suggest you move on with your life without him. figure out what's best for you: to stay where you are, or go live with your parents out of state. and start building your life without him. you mentioned your over 21. you are still young, but your at an age, that if your planning to get married one day, you should be looking for real love, not settle for someone who you just "care about."

Answer 3

This sounds an easy decision to make. If you make of list of his good and bad habits, I can already guess the negative will out weigh the positive. I think your parents have you best interests in mind and probably gave you the perfect chance to start fresh in a new state, your place and probably a new more mature relationship.

Drop him with a quickness, let him become some else's problem to deal with.

Answer 4

You are moving out of state!!! This is a PERFECT time to start over. You have an accuse to break up with your boyfriend (obviously he doesn't love you enough to move anywhere with you)
You'll have practically your own house and this will seriously! help you dating options. It is not always enjoyable to date someone who doesn't have their own place.
You have no rason to stay with this guy if you don't get along and the sex isn't even good. That said, you stay with him because that's all you have done for 4 years.
It's okay...being an independent woman will be freeing . once you get used to it, you will love it. Then you can evalute your situation. I doubt you will have trouble finding a boyfriend!
good luck :)

Answer 5

You are over him babe.

It sounds like you have no good reason to stay with him and every good reason to leave.

Another thing, dudes generally go far more crazy if you sleep with them before you break up with them. I have a friend who gets stalked by every boyfriend she dumps just about and even the ones who dump her.

You don't need sex that much. I think if you can do with out it, you'll find a dude who can appreciate everything else about you more. Especially if you don't want him to be possessive. I think it is hardwired into dudes to be possessive of girls who they've slept with.

Good luck.

Answer 6

ive been married since i was 17 (my moms choice) im 39 now. if it was just cuz u dont have the space for sex i'D SAY WAIT IT OUT IT WILL WORK OUT. bUT IF HES POSSESIVE NOW U NEED TO GET OUT. iT ONLY GETS WORSE IVE LIVED LIKE THAT FOR 18 YRS UNTIL I TOOK A STAND AND NOW EVERYTHING IS OK. DO WHAT UR HEART FEELS RIGHT AND WHAT DOESNT MAKE U FEEL DEGRATED OR USED

Answer 7

Just imagine how passive and controling he is right now and your not even married to him. AND if he doesn't want to move, then move without him. You don't deserve to be treated this way. ANd you might even find someone nicer later on who knows how to treat you good like you deserve to be. AND if he throws a fit because you break up with him it's his own fault. SO move and if he doesn't wana move say bye. You don't need that kind of drama. SO if you need someone to chat with just IM me anytime.

Answer 8

you are your own person,you cant let other people control you or the decisions you make.if you are not totally happy and dont feel like you love him,break it off.people say things out of anger like he will do this or that to you.if he is saying these things you need to leave him anyeay.he must not love you or hurting you would not enter his mind.break free and live your own life

Answer 9

Breakup time Girlfriend!!! Tell him that you simply want some time alone to figure out your life and to grow up a bit. There is so much life has to offer that you shouldn't tie yourself down to someone you are NOT in love with!! Good luck!!

Answer 10

Tell him that you need to try something different, tell him what you are feeling. I know it is hard to be with someone that possesive and weird about stuff, I have so been there done that.

Answer 11

Why do you disrespect yourself so much that you have sex with someone you don't love?
From the rest of your explanation I gather you are really quite a selfish person centered only on what you get not what the other person might need too.