Please help - confused??!!?

Question

Ok. I like this guy but I don't know if he likes me. He's on contract at my work so I only see him a few days a week. When I started a few months ago, we used to go for lunch all the time, just the two of us. We even went for a drink after work one night (not as a date). Then he went on holiday and I unexpectedly started seeing someone (which didn't work out). Anyway, after this, he seemed to back off and we still spoke but not as much. Then we started speaking more and having lunch again - sometimes lasting up to 2 hours lol. He would chat normally but then ask something random like when am I going to try a sport he does etc lol.

We have a good laugh together and get on well. I'm just about to turn 23 and he's just turned 34. We have a couple of 'in jokes' that we have between the two of us. I think he's really good looking and I like the fact that he works hard and has drive and ambition (as I also have loads) as well as being intelligent.

Thing is, I don't have a clue if he likes me or not. I'm working in three jobs to gain experience and try and save money for my masters courses and PhD and have been told that I'm good looking.

I would have said no to him liking me but recently, he's been acting differently. For example, he stood with his hand on my shoulder to talk to me the other week. Then a couple of weeks later, he put his hand on the back of my neck to get my attention and talk to me (which he did not remove for ages lol). Then the friendly neck strangling thing when I agreed with someone else who was taking the mick out of him lol. Also, he got a new car and I joked about him taking me out for a spin. One day he randomly turned round and asked if the following week we should go out for a spin and lunch? We have made plans for things before but he always has to cancel (I have a couple of times coz I have been busy as well) coz he works loads -even random hours as he's in work related contact with American ppl

Also, he lives in London and is up here in Fife in Scotland on contract. He started just before I did and originally thought he was staying until January, but this has now been changed to April and could go on longer (the project is running a wee bit over schedule! lol).

If he did like me then this may be a reason he hasn't asked? Or the age difference?

Aaahh!! I'm terrible at reading signals for myself!! lol

I have invited him out for my 23rd birthday night out in Jan and he said he would be coming. I'm unsure about this as he may have work commitments (again). Funny thing is, my contract at this place of work ends 2 days before my night out - should I just go for it and just ask him out? Or do you not think he likes me? Sooo confused!! lol

He's also quite a popular person at work ie has a lot of banter and lightheartedness - he doesn't come across as shy - I am on the other hand lol

Answer 1

Never regret the things u DID do, regret the things u DID'NT do :-)

Answer 2

why dont ya go out for one of ya lunches and have sum dutch courage and ask him how he feels about you. dont give anything away whether you like him or not so at elast if he says he only wants to be mates then you wont looka total prat. all i cans ay is that he may be the really nice guy that you say he is, but there will be a time he has to go back to london, and just make sure he isnt just wanting an away from home fling with someone x best of luck anyways x

Answer 3

After the infant is born have the paternity attempt regardless. If the infant is yours then it rather is yours. Now that replaced into easy. yet, if the infant isn't yours then 2 issues can ensue, you are able to settle for the baby or reject the baby. the two way the infant merits to have a scientific historic previous of his organic and organic father and that side of the kinfolk. observed toddlers are each and every so often scoffed at yet they are chosen, each and every so often fought for and consistently needed. this is better than some organic toddlers can say. So what ever you do, what ever you come to a sort, get the baby a scientific historic previous of his organic and organic father no remember who that must be.

Answer 4

Honey I would make a move. He seems like a really nice guy and he seems like he would take care of you. If he is doing all this stuff for you then he likes you. He is probably either waiting for the right time or waiting for you to make a move..He probably feels the same way you do and doesn't want to do anything cause he doesn't know how you feel...So next time you go out to luch ask him how he feels and take it from there..Good luck girl..

Answer 5

Everyones talking abou tyou making a move - now I know we're living in a new age of equality and all but this is a basic principle: its up to men to make the first move and if he hasn't then I'd be suspicious. Hang back, play hard to get and make him work for it.

My suspicion is that he's enjoying the flirting for flirting sake. If you have real feelings for him then you should hang back to make sure he has real feelings for you.

Otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question

Good luck.

Answer 6

lol he asked you when ur gonna try a sport he does and u think that hes bein random !!!

sounds more like hes trying to get you to meet up with him in a non-work related situation (like lunch or after-work drinks)

maybe he was kinda hinting at u and was testin the water 2 see if you like him coz he dont wanna make a fool of himself by turning round and directly asking you out for you 2 reject him (male pride issue lol) and that would ruin the friendship you 2 have !!!!!!!!

Answer 7

the age of u both doesnt matter. theres 15 yrs between me n my bloke. why dont u ask him out on a date or for a meal one night? when u are out of working hours u may feel more relaxed and be able to chat about how u feel. u have nothing 2 lose by it. good luck xx

Answer 8

List #1: The Six "Musts"
The six "musts" are the attributes a potential partner absolutely must have for you to consider him or her. If a person doesn't have these qualities, you will eventually leave the relationship. Getting clear about your "musts" can save you a lot of heartache. How many people have had their hearts broken because their partner doesn't want to get married and they do, or their partner doesn't want to have children and they do?
If you want to get married and have children, those are two of your "musts." If you want someone who shares your religion, that would be a third "must." If you want someone with a certain amount of financial stability, that's a fourth "must." The remaining "musts" might have to do with where someone lives, how much time they can spend with you, their moral code, whether or not they already have children by a former partner, or whatever is of supreme importance to you.
Your "musts" are the deal breakers -- you know what they are. If you wouldn't break up with someone because of it, it's not a "must." Your "musts" are the key when you're out there meeting people and finding out about them. Knowing your "musts" will keep you from getting trapped into thinking, "It doesn't matter," "He'll change," or "She'll be different with me." "Musts" come from a heartfelt place of knowing and trusting yourself. It's important to list six of them -- no more and no less. Six is a reasonable number that a person can be expected to live up to, without being overly picky or not discerning enough. More than six, and you may be scared. Less than six, and you might not be taking care of yourself. Once you have written down your six "musts," love yourself enough to stick with them. If you go out with someone appealing who has three of your "musts," you might be tempted to change the rest. But before you say blithely, "Oh, I didn't really want to have children anyway," and cross it off your list know that you will eventually break up over this.
The bottom line is this: Steer clear of people who don't have all your "musts" no matter how attractive you find them. It is an act of self-love to refuse to see someone again who will eventually break your heart. Don't wait six months, get really attached, then break up. Save yourself the time and the heartache. You don't need to sell yourself short. There is always someone else waiting just around the corner. You can choose to live in the belief that the partner you want is waiting for you. As a wise woman used to say, "Lovers are like streetcars, there's always another one coming!"

List #2: The Six "Must Nots"
The six "must nots" highlight your pitfalls. Your pitfalls are your Achilles heel -- the patterns you've been hurt by. If you're not sure what those are, take some time to reflect on the things that happen to you over and over in relationships. Do you get involved with people who want to control you? Then one of your "must nots" would be, "Must not be overly controlling." If you have a pattern of attracting partners with alcohol or drug problems, one of your "must nots" would be, "Must not be a substance abuser."
When you go out with someone, you'll want to be precisely in the moment so you can be aware of your pitfalls. If you're not awake in the moment it is easy to fall into an old pattern without realizing it. "This one's not like all the others," you may think, without realizing that he or she is angry at the opposite sex just like the others were. If you are awake, you will be present enough to realize that he's talking badly about his ex-wife or she's being disparaging about her father. Later, when you sit down and compare that person to your list, it will help you see you are approaching a pitfall. Beware!

It all seems good.... Good

-Dr FF

Answer 9

Where is the problem? the guy likes you, you like him, he had made several moves to be with you, which shows he enjoys your company(otherwise he wouldn't be wasting his time.
GIVE HIM a signal that you want to develop this relation.
Most men are fragile and shy people!! Its diff cult for them to be rejected, so after showing nice gestures to the woman they wait for her signal to push forward.

Answer 10

well i think you have succeeded he has not made a move on you he might be a bit wary of your previous relationship and its testing the waters. If the man is leaving in April you had better get your skates on best of luck

Answer 11

make a move girl.

Before that though, make sure he is unattached.. I hope he aint for your sake

I am 23 and my fella is 34, I met him at work and 3 years later we are still together! SPOOKY! I heard he liked me from workmates, I then went over to talk to him, the rest is history!


Tell you you would like to go out one night, make it subtle