Do you agree that children are taught more by example of their parents and not what they are told to do?

Question

It seems like a n-brainer, right?
But it's not as obvious as people think.

I know a couple who costantly TELL/order their kids to say please and thank you to other adults.
It works, mostly when they are reminded.
However, their parents, not only don't say thank you and please to their children, but don't to anyone else either.
They ordered their kids to behave a certain way, then did something VERY rude in the next breath to the people they were with.

My kids are only 2 and 5. Not only do they say please and thank you all the time to us, but to each other! We are so used to it that we don't even correct them when they forget to because they do it so often.
We always say please and thank you to our children, that is how they have learned this behavior.
I have only a handful of times told them to do it, the biggest influence on them it seems is being treated with respect themselves and having their parents say it to them.

Answer 1

yes, i totally agree

Answer 2

The truth is that children do model behavior, after parental figures in their life. There is a clear distinction between what is told to them and what they are being shown. If a child is beaten and while they are beaten they are being told that they are loved, this is causing mixed signals, and showing inaccurate ways of handling situations. Children for the first few years are sponges the soak up so much, as thier mind developes.

Answer 3

I would like to say yes, however my sister and I are exceptions. our parents are both drug abusers and high school drop outs. We did know what they were doing and they did try to tell us right from wrong, as to showing us by example, no they did not do that. My sister and I both have college degrees and are drug free. If our parents set any examples by there behavior, it would have to be examples of WHAT NOT TO DO. But on the other hand, I would like to think I am teaching my kids by setting a good example for them. I also don't try to hide the world from them. I am honest about what is right and what is wrong.

Answer 4

Yes, From day one in a child's life they copy the actions and reactions of their parents. For instance; if a child grows up in an abusive home, he will most likely be an abusive spouse or parent also.

But-- When it comes down to it. We have chose on whether or not to do what we do. No matter what you are taught or learn from your parents, it is still up to you as a person to make the right decisions in life. We all have an instinct to know what is right and wrong. God Bless!

Answer 5

Children are taught more by every day living. The most parents can do is to teach their children the best they know.As we all know sometimes parents do and sometimes they do not! Sometimes children that have been raised in good environments by great parents have grown up to be really bad people! Some that have been abused,neglected,etc. have become great,upstanding,adults! So truthfully, how can that really be determined!

Answer 6

yes im a jamaican girl and i do agree that children are taught more by example than what they are told . children live what they learn and most of the values and beliefs that children learn come mainly from thier parents or caregivers if a child is told to do something he or she may not want to do it but if they grow up seeing thier parents doing certain things it sticks in thier head and that iswhat they know and are use to seeing so in most cases they imitate thier parents behavior

Answer 7

Yes to a great degree, because you cannot teach something to a child and act contrary to what you order the child to do. For example, if you tell a child to clean his room, yours better be in order, or else the child is liable to ask, "mommy, why then is your room s mess?".

Answer 8

Yes i totally agree. When you tell a child not to do something and you go ahead and do it, you are only confusing the child. You have to be consistent and practice what you preach

Answer 9

It is both. You must tell them and then do that. They see the example in motion, It is the talking that puts the words in their heads. Just watching does not give them a thought out idea.

Answer 10

i totally agree..
tho my parents still had a rule that there were things we couldn't do until we were adults (eg swear. drink alcohol) even if they did it.. i guess a parent teaching by example has their childs repect and then the kid is more likely to listen to what they are told to do.

Answer 11

Absolutely! It is amazing to hear my words come out of my child's mouth, and more amazing when I watch my child do something I have done, not realizing that they were even paying attention.