If an autistic kid slaps your 5 year old daughter in the face... What would you do?

Question

This is not a joke this happened to my daughter about a week ago. But I can't say anything to my mother in law (its her adopted kid) because she treats him like he's royalty. And the freaking kid in her eyes does no wrong. She always argues about it. The boy is 260 lbs 5'4'' and he's autistic, my daughter is 45 pounds shes 5... and he slapped her face hard for no reason at all. All my mother in law said to him was not to do it again. This is not the first time he hit my daughter. So I feel like sh*t... because I didn't say anything. I'm trying not go over there anymore.. but hubby wants me to go over there sometimes and sit with her. So anyway the next time.. if this happens again (Which I don't want it to)
Should I:
A. Not say anything because you can say anything to the pycho mother in law or the little IMP anyway

B. Just leave, go home, and never come back to visit.

C. Slap the sh*t out of him and tell her that she needs to control her kid, and they can all kiss my @ss

Answer 1

I'm really sorry to hear this. You can't slap the kids, but you need to keep your daughter safe at all costs.
Next time, do not take your daughter over there. (I can't imagine why your husband wants to expose her to real danger.) If your mother in law brings the boy to your home, either take your daughter out with out until they are gon, or make arrangements for her to stay with other trusted people, relatives or friends.
Never expose your daughter again to such a threat. It could cause her severe psychological damage or physical harm.

Answer 2

What level of autism does he fall on in the spectrum. Can he communicate? I think you need to evaluate if it is in your daughters interests to visit there frequently? Autistic kids can't be taught social skills the way normal children can - so slapping him hard is not going to teach him cause and effect. I know you feel angry (obviously) as it would be deeply distressing. You don't say why your Mother in law is "psycho" I think your Mother in law should be pitied - it sounds like she has adopted this child and now she can't manage. Does she need professional support? Can your husband supervise your daughter when you go over - and only go over together so you can protect your daughter at all times if this child is prone to violence. Autism is one of the most tragic afflictions as at the worst end of the spectrum the individual is locked in their own world and cannot ever understand their interrelationship with other people. At the upper end if he suffers from Aspergers you can drill and role play and teach him social skills by rote. But it is a long slow process and you need support from professionals.As a parent your Mother in law could never expect a cuddle from her child like you can from her daughter. Maybe you should stay away until you feel less angry and then try to talk about the problem in terms of trying to make sure everyone is safe and happy- Your husband must be involved in the discussion process as well as he is not being fair asking you to go over and sit if he is not going to help and support you when you go.
Good Luck as this is a really hard issue and everyone has to try to calm down and communicate in order to find a way of managing the problem.

Answer 3

If your husband isn't aware of this than let him know about it. Also how autistic is he? it depends on how severe his autism is. Personally i would have done something anyway but since your mother in law seems to think he can do no wrong you can't really adress his behavior without expecting critisism. Just leave your daughter with a sitter when you guys go over there.

Answer 4

As a family member of an autistic child, here is my advice.

Tell your husband you fear for your daughter's safety and will not go over there again until he has devised a way to guarantee it. Your fears are reasonable, but autism makes it very difficult for the mother in law to control the kid. That doesn't mean your daughter should suffer.

Answer 5

You have a responsiblity to your daughter to protect her. Ask your mother-in-law what her response would be if someone else did that to her granddaughter?

Tell her that if her son lays a hand on your daughter again, you will not be back.

And tell your husband that HE can go visit, but you and your daughter will not. Ask HIM what his reaction would be if someone else did that to his daughter.

For what it is worth, your mother-in -law is not doing the boy any favors to let him get by with that behavior. What happens when he is older and bigger and decides to punch HER? Or a total stranger?

Answer 6

As a parent of an autistic child, I can tell you...

Slapping the **** out of him won't do any good. He will just be confused.

No matter what you tell him, he is likely not to understand. Discussing the intricacies of good behavior won't help.

You need to consider that his mental level may be closer to that of a three-year-old. Would you slap the **** out of a three-year-old that hit your daughter?

What you DO need to do is stay with your daughter when he's around. Don't let them be alone...even if "alone" is simply on the other side of the same room. Explain to your daughter that he doesn't know what he's doing, and that she shouldn't be offended by things he does or says.

Meanwhile, educate yourself on autism. Your attitude toward your brother-in-law is childish.

Answer 7

You can't slap him, but you can yell at him. Autistic children need to be taught what behavior is unacceptable, just like all other children. Hold his hand, and say, "No! We don't hit!" just like you would to a two-year-old.

If his mother yells at you, and continues to refuse to discipline him, don't take your daughter there any more. Talk to your husband about it--I'm sure he cares about his mother, but he should care more about his daughter.

Answer 8

well if he just walks up and slaps her he might know more than your mother-in-law wants to admit as much as I hate to say this I'd say C maybe if he see's he's not going to get away with it he won't do it to her again.

Answer 9

Every time from this point on, slap the autistic kid harder each time he slaps your kid. By the tenth one, you should get to kicking. After the twentieth slap(if he hasn't learned his lesson), learn a martial art and punch him in the face. By the 50th, if he still doesn't realize it, lock him in a room, strap him to a chair, tape his eyes open, and make him watch a tape of people slapping other people with a NO! subliminal message. If he still doesn't realize it, just take a baseball bat and snap his legs.
I, personally, would strap him to a stick, and stick him in the ground to use as either a soccer ball, football, or punching bag.

Answer 10

C. If the little punk hits your daughter again hit him on his bottom, or you could make your daughter learn self defense so then she can whip the crap out of the little **** herself. Keep your daughter away from him so you won't have to deal with other incidents. Good luck!!