she can come across intimidated, unconfident or intense - even if she agrees to go out on a date with him. How can he get her to really relax and be herself? I met up with a woman for some afternoon coffee but she seemed really shy and nervous at all times. However, she really enjoyed my company as we ended up going to an exhibition nearby and even had dinner together at a restaurant when the plan was only to have coffee. It was frustrating that she couldn't really open up so I had to do a lot of the talking. I have sinced moved on but am wondering, what do I do in the future if I come across a similar situation with another woman?
2007-01-06 09:26:05 · 13 answers · asked by The boy from London 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She definitely wasn't bored. She was trying thoughout but said so herself before we dated that she is very shy and highly sensitive.
2007-01-06 09:31:51 · update #1
I cracked a lot of jokes; made sure I was playful; always smiled and also asked her a lot of lighthearted questions but her answers were always very short. She was definitely making an effort but was struggling. During dinner she tried to open up a bit more by asking questions about me but again struggled. In the past she mentioned that she isn't very good in social situations.
We even had a race at the exhibition on an ice slide using an ice sled.
2007-01-06 09:41:31 · update #2
Too bad you moved on for that reason. I think you missed the boat here! Sometimes it takes some time to really open up. You wouldn't have dumped her for that reason, I hope. So, you moved on and now you seem to have this question again. Could it be you and not her?
2007-01-06 09:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
With shy people it's a good idea to ask open questions that require a longer answer than just yes or no. For example you could say tell me about your work, rather than what do you do?
Tell me is usually a good way to start or 'what's it like?
Also perhaps the first few dates with someone shy could be doing something where not a lot of talk is required until she feels more confident.
Hope that helps a bit.
Ps. Is that London UK? Me too.
2007-01-06 17:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each woman to their own, some people just feel really shy and self conscious, constantly wondering if they're making a good impression or not. This girl probably really liked you and was just so glad you were going out that she didn't want to make an idiot of herself, so defends herself be being quiet. Don't worry, they won't all be like this for you, soon you'll meet a girl with the confidence to make both of you comfortable. It's not a woman thing, its an individual person. You didn't do anything wrong, so don't let it discourage you. Good luck
2007-01-06 17:33:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hiya buddy,
I've had that problem, but its actually me thats shy when girls come and talk to me. Its a problem, and you may be wondering why I am saying this. I have the other persons perspective and shyness right? It may be due to them respecting you or liking you so darn much lol. Now what girls seem to do is ask me questions to bring me out a bit. Maybe ask her what she does (jobs) and such ask ask a few questions like that and lead her out. Don't be pushy, although I bet u won't. Good luck matey!
2007-01-06 17:34:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be asking the woman questions to get her to open up and talk instead of doing all of you doing all of the chatting. Crack some jokes etc...That is always a good ice breaker.
2007-01-06 17:34:26 · answer #5 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may have been nervous or maybe it takes a while for her to learn to trust. You have to ride the wave and if it does not get better after a couple of confrontations then I would question her about what mught be bothering her.
2007-01-06 17:32:04 · answer #6 · answered by MusicWoman 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to persevere. Keep dating her for a little bit, she obviously likes you alots as she is so nervous! Be flattered. Rome was not built in a day son.
2007-01-06 17:31:02 · answer #7 · answered by TellMeWhy? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can feel intimidated because we feel like we have to act perfectly around people.
If you relax and show that you aren't perfect, or to show her that she doesn't have to act perfectly, she might start to relax.
You relax and she will.
Hopefully.
x!
2007-01-06 17:31:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't move on. Have a bit of patience and give her time to feel comfortable around you.
2007-01-06 17:29:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let her see your dorky side so she willbe less nervous to look stupid if she sees you dont care then she wont hopefully you meet a nice girl
2007-01-06 17:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋