Any immediate idea's to keep me sane after a break up? (please read it is short)?

Question

It hurts every second

My first long-term 8+ years

I have no friends (I spent my days catering to him)

I broke it off, am 36 I do not party and have been a recluse for years

I am educated (M.A), but not currently working

Sorry I asked twice but someone told me to get laid ...gross..so I think I put it in the wrong section.

I need actual moment to moment advice.

Answer 1

You broke up with him, and even though it's hard you will eventually move on.
Take a hot bath, order your favorite food, watch your favorite movie, and listen to some music.
Call your mom or a sister, or a friend.
Start joining groups and things like that to meet new people. Start looking for a job as soo as you can.
Good luck, I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 2

First of all my prayers are with you. It's very hard after a break up especially after 8 years, but there is life after "whats his name". What I do, and believe me I'm 57 and have been thru this many times. Is I sit down and write every pro and con I could think of regarding him. Then put down all the pros and cons about you, including catering to him. How much do you want to make a bet it will come out oh, about 3 to 7. Then ask yourself why you put up with so long, and that you deserve better. And being only 36 years old you still have alot of time. I know how hard it is to start living again, I'm a recluse also. But you have to get up, brush yourself off and start reaching for those stars again. God shuts the door ususally on negative things, tho you don't know that yet, and he does open the window. And you never know who will be coming in the window. If you hadn't changed paths you may be letting go of a loving and nutureing relationship just waiting to happen. So, now, you have time to cater for you. How great is that going to be? Start making your self up again, go on a cut back food diet if being a recluse has put on unwanted lbs. Get a new haircut, look for a great job so you can feel self-worth again. Starting putting yourself first for a change, and feel good about it. Start living again, but this time for you and the people you love!! And for people who appreciate you. You can do it. It takes time but that's why we're here. We live, learn and learning the best lesson is to love your self, the real meaning of happiness, and its not a man who has drained the energy out of you. Or some jerk that thinks that sex is the answer to everything. That's the general rule for the men anyway, they think with the wrong head. You go girl!! Show people who you really are. Stand up for yourself and be proud!! Good luck and get to living the life you should have had for the last 8 years.

Answer 3

Time is the main thing you need to get past this.For now all you can really do is find a way to pass the time.If i were you I would try to do things to make you feel good about yourself like exercising and a makeover.Go shopping for some cute new clothes.Don't sit around being depressed or it will just get worse and you will start to think you cant live without him and you will be calling him back.Try eating chocolate I heard that helps.I also heard that after seven days your addiction to another person begins to fade it has something to do with their scent.The main thing is you need to know this is not the end of the world and so many people are going through the same thing as you.So you are not alone.I promise it will get much easier with time.You said you don't have any friends well go out and get a job that's a good way to make friends.I think working will be a good way for you to reclaim your independence.

Answer 4

I wish there was an easy answer to this and that I could be more helpful.

It is very painful to lose somebody. For the most part it will take time. I would suggest that you stop being such a recluse. Get out and do things. Go to the gym. I will make you feel better about yourself and get you out of the house.

If you are a religious person, go to church. Volunteer somewhere. Again, it will get you out of the house and you will meet other people.

What did you do before you were with him? If you have abandoned clubs or hobbies you once had, consider going back to them.

I know it is incredibly painful. Do your best to function everyday. It will get better.

Answer 5

im so sorry! well first go to a sister or mom or some grl you like and talk about it....go find something you like to do...like try yoga or buy a new cd or start running.... excersize and music help get rid of stress hormones. Then whn you feel better about the whole thing go job hunting...im sure you will find something and there are plenty of great guys on thw work scene tour age...someone better will come along (as hard as that is to beleive right now) and in no time with a busy schedual and a litle fun you will be back in the groove...P.S. just because you dont have friends doesnt mean you cant get some...you were occupied with ur man. ur not a loser.

Answer 6

Poor dear. Learn from this and get back out there. Make friends. Go out and do things that you find interesting and meet people. Don't ever alienate yourself again for a man. Start looking for a job you like and enjoy yourself. If you can, take a trip. Talk to people. (A cruise is the best.) Take a "fun" class...maybe massage therapy or tai chi. Think of things you used to enjoy and get back in there. Did you play an instrument? Join a local group. Do you sing? Audition for something. Theatre? Join a community theatre. Sports? Lots of teams out there.

Try to have fun and meet people. It's what life is about. The best of luck to you.

Answer 7

I have been thru the same, for the second time, with the same guy. Listen, as much as it hurts, there are hopes. I am 52, you are 36 and I still have BUNCHES of hopes. YOu have a degree, you are smart, you have talents, pray hard, ask the Lord to show you what to do with your life. I too don't have many friends, it is me, my job, my poodle and me but above all GOD. Believe me, you will survive, you have to believe it. I did and here I am talking to you. THere are times it hurts so bad, especially when I see him on line, talking to maybe some other woman here in my country (he is an American, I am from Brazil) and it seems he found someone else and broke up with me because this other woman. He told me again he was coming back to me, and then he back up, it hurt, but it hurt so bad.............give it time and time heals every wound, keep faith and if you ever need a friend to talk with, you can email me.
Big hug.

Answer 8

i dont want you to take this the wrong way but maybe getting a job of some sort its a great way to make friends since you said you dont have any even if the job is something like cashiering thats my job and i love the people i work with. other ideas i would suggest are taking up hobbies like reading, or crafts, something simple. i would also advise going out at least once a week to like a bar or a club or even a coffee shop your choice not to meet a guy or anything just to socialize interaction with public is neccessary. maybe buying a dog they are good for taking walks and itll help clear your mind and have something to smile about. also if you need a friend my email is on my link.

Answer 9

Get a job; that'll give you something to do in place of "catering to him!" . . . and make you feel important again. Also, volunteering with local organizations, charities -- anything to get you out and about again where you can meet people, make friends -- and then maybe go partying with them! You're not a recluse, just a temporarily lost treasure! Hang in there! And if you FEEL like you've been a recluse catering to one man for 8 years, CONGRATULATIONS on finally getting out of it! Best wishes!

Answer 10

there is this verse on the Koran:"don't hate some stuff that may be good for you, and don't like some stuffs that may be bad for you, God knows and you don't"
meaning look at the bright stuff of the break up, you will find it and always remember that. and also remember there is always some better. you will find it just be patient. after a long night there will be a morning for sure. look forward to that. be open, go out and smile and talk. a smart and nice person such yourself won't find problem finding someone who will take care of her. just put this idea in your mind:"how come all these people have mates and me not, I am sure I will."