Recently me and this guy at work found out we liked each other, sending dirty text messages but he has a girlfriend, we met up and he began touching me whick I enjoyed, only round my legs and hands but told him to stop as he has a girlfriend, I knew if we went ahead with it I would feel ag guilty as he would, we have been friend for a long time too. We met up again adn he continuelsy told me how he wanted me and how he liked me. He's a very decent innocent kind person so he wouldn't say he liked me if he didn't. I told him tons f times we couldn't continue as it wouldn't be fair on his girlfriend but the other we met up and had sex, I feel so gulity I don't know his girlfrined, but Iw was good he even said so but appoligised near the end about not getting into it, he said it wasn't about his girlfriend. WE HAVE talked but not about that. Did I not pleasure him enough? He doesn't feel an anounce of gulit about cheating on his 4 year long girlfriend, but I feel like crying.what did I do
2007-01-06 08:49:50 · 21 answers · asked by littlemizzhelp 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just think of what he would do to you behind your back if you did get together. A cheater is a cheater, and I am one too. He is probably with her for security, so if you want a piece of him, just do it, you are both adults, and can make decisions, then if she busts you, tell her you didnt know he had a girlfriend
2007-01-06 08:55:00 · answer #1 · answered by dwntwnbadboy 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Hi littlemiz !!!
You were naive, to really think that he was so innocent, and honest.
Sweetie, this guy just took advantage of the fact that you liked him. He worked his ground very well, intimidating you and taking control of the situation, do to the fact that you like him!!!
Don't be guilty of anything, sweetie. I'm pretty sure this guy 'has done the same thing many times, to others. Just be on the look out for guys like him, that only want to score, and then leave; because they are afraid the girlfriend will find out.
You have to work on your self esteem, if you don't feel sure of yourself and will believe that every guy that is nice to you is honest too, you will be in a lot of trouble.
Respect yourself at all times. Until you know the guy better.
If the guy really are interested in you and respect you enough he will wait, and try to call your attention in other ways other than to be sexual, on line, on the phone or personally.
Littlemiz; is all about respect. If you don't respect yourself, NO ONE ELSE WILL !!! This is one of the most important rules in life. Learn this and you will life a much better quality, happy and longer life.
GOOD LUCK & GOD BLESS YOU
ALLIV Z
2007-01-06 17:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by Alliv Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like he's a creep and you were used BECAUSE you're a decent person. In other words, where his sick mind is really getting off is on the idea that he has debased you.
Realize that everyone is a liar, and any man or any woman will say and/or do anything -- for as long as you can hold his or her interest -- to get what he or she wants from you. That doesn't apply just to sex, but it does apply especially to sex.
It should be readily apparent you and he have vastly different moral standards; however, it is possible that he and his gf have an "open" relationship (meaning he and/or she can have sex with persons not party to that relationship).
Some open relationships require consent of the other party (or parties) before a person outside the relationship can be sexed; other open relationships allow one or more of the people in the relationship to act without consulting the other party (or parties) to the relationship.
For instance: James and Jenna are in an open relationship; they consider themselves bf/gf. James lets Jenna have sex with anyone she wants, with or without his knowledge. Jenna lets James have sex with anyone she approves, with her consent predicated on a per-instance basis. Let's imagine Connie is such a woman.
In the sexual sense, it is impossible for Jenna to cheat on James; however, if James has sex with someone that Jenna hasn't approved -- OR if James, without specific okay from Jenny, has sex with Connie -- James has cheated on Jenny.
Open relationships and "swinging" can get even more complicated than that; however, I doubt that's the case in the example you described.
If you can, talk with the gf and find out if she's given him a green light to get all he can. She may be just like he is, and may get her jollies from your debasement -- but she might tell you that you didn't do anything wrong as far as she's concerned.
And there's always the possibility that she is as much a victim in this as you are (but from a different perspective). You owe her at least the opportunity to decide for herself if she has been so wounded by that guy.
Habitual cheating is a profound and irrepearable character flaw: I've never heard of it happening, but I can see where someone could cheat once and then be contrite and never cheat again; however, "twice a cheater (whether with the same or a different person), always a cheater."
2007-01-06 17:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by wireflight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well let's just say that I was the sweet innocent girl that thought her boyfriend would never cheat on her and then found out about a few things. I know two wrongs don't make a right but I found another man who I'm totaly in love with now but is no longer with him because the ex interferred. So now I'm the idiot because I took the ex back and things just seem to be worse. I wouldn't trust this guy you're talking about if he's cheating on his girl now what makes you think he'll be faithful to you if ya two hook-up? Once a cheater always a cheater.
2007-01-06 17:09:42 · answer #4 · answered by daizy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything. Although he likes you, you need to stay away from him. He has been with this girl for 4 years now, and he's touching you? This guy is NOT trustworthy. Suppose he breaks up with his girlfriend and then gets together with you? Do you think he'll do that to another girl? Most probably. Do not pleasure this guy, don't touch him, don't let him touch you. This guy is bad news, and if you continue on your present course you're going to wind up getting hurt. Drop this loser and find you a good boyfriend you can trust. Best of luck to you.
2007-01-06 16:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well seems to me like you need to talk to him and let him know what you two did was wrong and it can not continue. He is not the kind person you think he is obviously. Good Luck and the guilt will eventually go away maybe get some counseling if it is really hard to deal with.
2007-01-06 16:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by ~♥Aimee♥~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say he's a decent guy but he's cheating on his gf of 4 years? If he's a decent guy and he really likes you, he'll be single before he hits on you again. Since you already had sex and feel guilty about it, don't let it happen again unless he's single. You sound like you have a good heart but you're probably too trusting. Make him prove to you he's worth it.
2007-01-06 16:56:02 · answer #7 · answered by katydid 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You had sex with a screwed up cad!! When you knew he was cheating is when you made your mistake. You got lost in his sexy b.s. and flattery and bought it because it made you feel more attractive and sexy. All he wanted was what he got and he's through. I'd say forget him, but personally I think you should remember the lesson of this embarrassment. Men are different than women. Men fall in love with their eyes. Women fall in love with their ears. Think about that!!
2007-01-06 16:55:13 · answer #8 · answered by Dovey 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What did you do? YOU GOT INVOLVED WITH A GUY WHO DOESN'T CARE THAT HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! Pardon my shouting, but I would think that this problem could have been solves if you just stayed away from him. It's people like you who continue to give cheaters the idea that cheating on their significant others is perfectly alright when it isn't. Harsh words, but there it is.
2007-01-06 16:53:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It really isn't anyone's business but your own, but if this guy is willing to cheat (and just because it's not the full-meal-deal does not mean that it isn't cheating) on his current girlfriend, do think he won't think about cheating on you in the future?
It's a tough question to ask yourself, but it's better that you ditch and run before you REALLY get hurt.
2007-01-06 16:55:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you feel guilty its because you know what happened was wrong. However, at the end of the day its him with the girlfriend and he is the one cheating.
If i were you I wouldn't consider him a 'decent and honest' person given the fact he cheated on his gf.
2007-01-06 16:53:12 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋