I'm blackgirl/24 in grad school & a month ago I left my white B/friend 28/eduacted professional.We dated for 1 year.This is a kind of a man parents want their daugthers to bring home BUT not my family coz he's white.I left him specially for my mom coz she is very ill(heart disease).My family asked that i do the best thing 4 my mom,so i did(left him) but there is soemthing wrong with this kind of thinking.I VE A DYING MOM but I ALSO feel like i'm dying without him.I cry everynight.This 1 month has been a living hell.I have tried to talk to family about how much i miss him but they say i'm choosing a white person over family.I do not love him coz he's white but coz he a great man that i really enjoy spending time with.My mom is important but so is he.My family says i should stay away from him at least until my mom passes.What do you think? i cannot secretly date him coz my brothers are tracking me.i do not want my mom to die thinking i disappointed her.I want him back so much.help Please
2007-01-06 08:42:46 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
the solution is easy
u can keep contacting him without ur mother known
and i am amazing why ur mother refuse u marry him , because he is white ?lol whatever
if ur family at least accepted that and they told u that they accept him but u have to wait till ur mother get remedy at least so its okay
and u can ask him to make ur relation with him secret and know one know it else u and him till the circumstances be okay
2007-01-06 08:48:55 · answer #1 · answered by micho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just from personal experience, if this person is the man you know will be your mate for life, I think that you should go with it.. Of course you love your family, but once you've grown to a certain age, i believe that it is about releasing your children.. many times, parents are selfish and continue to hold on, but as children grow older, they need to be released to become who they were created to be.. not just the offspring of our family's ideals and values, but grow into a separate person embracing those ideals and values... i say at the end of it all, pray about it and I'm sure that you will do the right thing... follow your heart!
2007-01-06 16:48:03 · answer #2 · answered by Su K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should wait until your mom passes, which by the way, I am sorry about that. This way, you wont regret and think that you are dissapointing your mom. Your family wont be upset this way either. And in the end, you will end up with the love of your life. By they way, have you told him whats going on and that you still love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him? You need to if you haven't so he isn't heartbroken and out in the cold. If you have, let him know you can be together later and can still hang out in the mean time, if thats the case. Good luck to you and I'm sorry about your mother.
2007-01-06 16:52:16 · answer #3 · answered by FOXRACING 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Because the world is not fair.
Unless you are ready to marry him, and cut off the connection to your family, you made the right choice.
I know this because I had to make that choice too. I no longer have a relationship with my father because I married outside my skin tone.
I look back and do not regret the choice, only the situation. I must wait until my father dies in order to visit as much as I would like.
I just hope my mother outlives him.
2007-01-06 16:48:51 · answer #4 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are over the age of 21, and, I think you should be commended for the love you feel for this man. I wouldn't cry everynight hon, I would call him, and bring him back into my life in a NY heart beat. If they don't accept him because he's white, that's their problem. You just follow your heart, and be with the man you're in love with. My best wishes for you, your Mom, and the love of your life ~~~
2007-01-06 16:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think anyone should have to choose---have a private conversation with your mom and bring up do you remember how you felt when you first met dad? make her believe that it's not a race issue, but more of hey let me try this---this is what my heart is telling me--for your brothers tell them to get their own lives---they will learn to accept it---but put your mother to ease letting her know how you feel, maybe you can clear up some issues that they may have w/ racial relationships
2007-01-06 16:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by biznitchil 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's your life, not his or theirs, so screw them. I never accept ultimatums period. Choose not to accept it. If you want to be with this guy, do it and continue your relationship with your family. If the family pushes you away because of it, it's their loss. It's not your decision to make, it's their decision to accept or not accept you the way you are, so don't let them put this on you. If they can't love you when you have a difference of opinion, then the love was weak anyway, and they aren't worth impressing.
2007-01-06 16:47:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry to hear about your dilemma. Thats a tough situation to be in. It sounds like you love this guy alot. I say go for the guy and maybe your family will realize how much he makes you happy and give in. Good Luck!
2007-01-06 16:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by Darktania 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
family before freinds
if you have a family it'll will always be there marriage has a 50 per cent rate of failing, and temporary relations are sure to end sometime or another.
2007-01-06 16:47:52 · answer #9 · answered by justanotheruser 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think it dosent mater if ur white or black or anything else. now days everybody is treated the same. try to explain it to your parents, but if they don't agree just wait for your mom "to go".
2007-01-06 16:50:18 · answer #10 · answered by Shannon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋