Do you think that it puts children at a disadvantage to be an only child?

Question

I've heard from some adults who said it was absolutely awful to be an only child, that the focus, like a microscope was on them, they felt lonely, and resented their parents for being selfish.
I have heard a couple (usually women) who said they liked being an only child because they liked the attention and didn't have to share.
Studies show children who are an only child are more likely to have less developed social skills, problems sharing, and problems empathising with other children...

What are your thoughts on deciding to make a child an "only child", is it only a selfish decision for the parent which puts the child at a disadvantage and potentially makes their childhood lonely and a feeling of "nowhere to hide" from the focus, or is it a better decision for a 'global community'?

MEMEME: you poor soul. Isn't it AWFUL how selfish and horrible parents can be,

how absolutely TERRIBLE of your father to rob you of your only family....

I feel for you.....
THis is what I hear often from only children
the sad part about you is that you didn't have to be.

It makes you wonder if people think about children's feelings At ALL!!!!

IN your case, it's fair to say, no, they didn't, they cared about themselves,
as so often is the case.

terrible, truly terrible.

Answer 1

I've only known one only child, and she hated it. I remember her telling me in school one day "I wish my mom would just leave me alone.." because her mother was around constantly because her daughter was the center of her world.

I really think *deciding* to have only one child is selfish. I can't judge those who wanted more but can't. The girl I knew had friends, but eventually withdrew alot from people. Maybe it was overwhelming being around people since she hadn't been around other kids growing up.

Answer 2

Simple: Depends on the parents.
I have a friend who is also an only. Both of us turned out complete opposites eventhough we both came from the same family financial level. I am a straight A student and she is more concern on getting her make up right every morning. See? It's not the child. It's the parents.

I believe that you should have children according to your means. What's the point on having more than one child if you risk quality over quantity.

My friends say that I am more mature. I agree because I feel more comfortable around adults. I find their topic of conversation more relevent that teens. But not all the time. We only child just tend to grow a half step faster than the rest because we are one only in the world.

My social skills are fine. I have lots of friends and we ge along very well. Social skills problem? Must be from the parents.

The number of children that you should have depends on the amount of resposibility that you can take on. If you are sure that all your children will turn out a good person. Then go ahead!

Answer 3

Well I am a mother of 7 and I am expecting triplets in April so you could say that I went the other way. Obviously I cannot imagine my life without any one of my kids nor would I want to. I think big families are great,I have 11 brothers and sisters and my husband's family had nine so we both agreed that if it was at all possible we would have a big family. We are confident that we can support each child financially, emotionally and physically so I feel there is no problem in having loads of kids. My kids say they love having a big family in that there is always someone to play with and to talk to.
However there are many reasons why people have only one child....financial,medical etc..... I believe that every parent knows what is best for their child and if people decide to have an only child for whatever reason then they are entitiled to make that decision. I truly feel for those that desire a big family but cannot, but we all must deal with the hand we are dealt in life and make the most of it.

Answer 4

to be an only child, the child might feel more self centered, lonely, and chances are wont learn to share as much. That is true. Social skills aren't that great either. BUT, they will get a lot of the parent's care. Having siblings can also be a pain. They will be blaming each other, and unless they are lucky they'll have a quick bond.

I would rather have the child have siblings, but then again, being alone allows the child to be more independent in the world. Whcih also benefits the child

Answer 5

Yes and no there is nothing wrong with being an only child but like you said there social skill may be some what less developed and maybe problems sharing it really just depends on the kids some times i wish i had brothers and sisters but everytime i babysit that feeling quickly goes away i am actually pretty glad that im an only child i don't have to deal with annoying older or younger siblings. I never felt like eyes were always on me i liked being an only child my mom always had the time to pay attention to me and I never had to wear hand me downs.

Answer 6

Having my own children makes me believe that it is good for them to have another child in the household. However, there are plenty of people who were only children that have turned out just fine. I watch my kids and how they interact with each other, and it makes me very glad that they have each other. It seems to me that it would be so boring for them to not have anyone to play with in the house. Plus, looking into the future, I wouldn't want my children to have to go through decisions with me (or their mother) about life/death, nursing homes, etc...without someone else to give them their point of view. That would be terrible to have to face that stuff all by themselves.
There are times I wish I was an only child because of the relationship between my sisters and I, but then in the next breath it is nice to have them around.
So this is a very complicated question. I guess it really depends on the day, or even the moment.

Answer 7

No, that child will just have a different kind of normal. If a single child is raised by parents who deeply love him/her, and have the attitude that everything has been done with that child's best interests in mind, I think the child can grow up feeling confident and loved. This in turn will make the child loving in return and quite able to form strong, loving relationships.
However, if the parents spend their whole lives apologizing to the child for not supplying any siblings, the kid will pick up on that, feel cheated of something wondrous and never let the parents forget it.
No matter what the circumstance, children will compare their own situation with other children's'. Just explain that this is how we chose to build our family and it is good.

Answer 8

I've taught teenagers for 30 years. Many, many were the only child in the family. They tend to be better readers and critical thinkers. I assume this is because their parents had more time for solo interaction and reinforcement. Also, they tend to be as secure as their peers with siblings. Why not... they didn't have to compete against anyone during the critical formation years. I believe there are benefits to having siblings, but I have never seen a child held back emotionally or academically because of being the solo child in the family.

Answer 9

Before my first was born, my husband and I planned 3 kids. One was never a thought in our minds. The single kids I knew growing up hated not having siblings. I refused to do that to my kids. Matter of fact, I don't even know anyone that only wants one child. I really do think it robs them of experiences. As crazy as my childhood was, I'm glad I had my sister to go through it with. One day my parents will be gone, but my sister will still be here. I'd never want to deprive my children from the chance to have siblings- to have that chance at closeness

Answer 10

I agree. I think the biggest problem is the absence of a role model. Sure the father is a role model, but of a different kind. I had an older brother and because of that, my personality was shaped. I remember in grade school telling some of the jokes he use to tell me, and then in high school he told me what to and not to do. I couldn't imagine being an only child. I wouldn't have anyone there to help me out or I couldn't help younger siblings out.

Answer 11

It depends on the child. Some children do develop sharing issues and things like that. But sometimes it can be quite the contrary if it's the kind of child who wishes they had siblings. Usuallly the ones that prefer being the center of attention end up like that