Is it bad/wrong not to forgive people?

Question

Because I never forget people I just make them pay for what they did.
Keep answers as secular as possible!

forgive*.....

Answer 1

If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven.

I know you want to keep the answer to a question on personal moral behavior strictly secular, but honestly, if you insist on doing that, you will never get past the Law of the Jungle.

I guess in the end, it depends on how you define 'forgive'. It means to put the offense behind you and not bring it up, use it as ammunition in a future fight, or as an excuse to ambush the other person and 'pay them back' at a future date.

To forgive does *not* mean you have to condone the behavior, and act as though it was not really an offense against you.

It also does *not* mean you have to give that person the opportunity to do it to you again. Ever.

Forgiveness comes from a position of strength, not weakness and stupidity. And the other person has to accept the forgiveness for it to work for both of them.

As you may imagine, many people who are passive aggressive will never admit they have done anything wrong, so it is not possible for them to accept your forgiveness. Best to simply avoid those types.

At bottom, carrying a grudge is both pleasurable and simply rotten in its effect on you as a person. It twists you with revenge fantasies. Best to get rid of it as quickly as you can, and move on. I am sure you know at least one person who cannot seem to do this. They are not very pleasant company, are they?

Cent 13

Answer 2

Yes its bad !!! Don't you feel superior when forgive someone?? some honest and good feelings, the one who forgive is even greater than the one who doesn't, because taking revenge is very easy but to forgive someone is very difficult..for that you have to fight yourself and i think this is the most difficult job in this world..to control oneself' so i think prove yourself to be brave and strong by forgiving someone instead of taking revenge and proving that you not different from the person who has done wrong to you.
i think its a secular answer!!

Answer 3

and for how long do you wait to make them pay. During that wait, doesn't the weight of anger ravaging your peace of mind? How would you feel if that person dies before you could make them pay? Aren't you afraid of dying because you still have some scores to settle? All these are not religious but basic human nature and I believe that you are torturing yourself instead of focusing on a bigger and better picture of your being. If they don't ask for forgiveness, just leave them alone and go on living your life!

Answer 4

it's not a sin or a bad thing when you don't forgive, it have nothing to do with religion although it often involves with it. Nooffence for saying. But forgiveness is a comon sense of ones believe to figure whats right and what's worng to do.

Answer 5

in order to be secular....

if you do not forgive anyone, don't expect anyone to forgive you. how could you possibly have any friends?

are you perfect? i'm thinking no.

Answer 6

It's fine, if you have room for all that anger that'll accumulate from not forgiving. Anger's never brought anything good my way though, so I choose to forgive.

Answer 7

The bible says you you cant forgive others then the Father in heaven wont forgive you

Answer 8

Forgiving releases them from the offense and releases you from the bitterness that can follow by holding on to it.

Answer 9

u should definately forgive people,but ther should be a way of forgiving,in which they should be told that they r bieng forgiven,n so should be made guilty from within,so they themselves sincerely dont repeat that thing again

Answer 10

Yah. You should be willing to forgive evn if you really don't want to. Everyone deserves a second chance.