What can I do to improve my life?

Question

My self confidence and esteem are at an all-time low. I live with a husband who doesnt want me and two kids of 17 & 18 who generally treat me like dirt. Im fed up with life and my favourite time of the day is when I go to bed and to sleep.

Answer 1

get a life,go out ,meet people,do things you've always wonted to do .

Answer 2

Your husband might not feel the way you think he feels. Some people don't always show their love for people which makes us question whether they do love us.

You should tell him how you're feeling. Talk things through with him. Be open and honest with him and see what he says. When people are in a relationship for a long time as well we can just start taking people for granted. He might just need you to tell him how you're feeling and you could both get the zest back into the relationship. You should consider marriage counselling if you both feel there's a future for the relationship, just so you can talk open and honestly about how you're feeling and how you think the relationships going.

Kids at that age don't always show their love either and really can treat their parents with not a lot of respect. I'm sure they do love you.

Know yourself and know what it is you want to do in life. Pursue any interests you've got by doing an evening course at college or something along those lines.

You've done the most important thing by realising you're not happy with the way things are. Now you have to make positive steps to improve things. All the best.

Answer 3

Ask yourself this: Do you deserve better? If you answered yes then you are halfway there. Think about starting over, starting fresh. A new beginning. Think positive and erase the negatives in your life. Life is hard, but it is only as hard as each of us makes it. I have been through hell and back and back to hell again. The power of positivity encourages more self esteem and happiness into our lives. It is not an overnight event but you will notice the changes when stress is eliminated due in part to the power of positive thinking. Remember that you are better then others around you who talk negatively towards you. They do this because they feel threatened and intimidated unbeknownst to you. You have the upper hand. If God allowed us to go through all our life without any obstacles, that would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. Check out the link below and you might find some useful insight there. Good luck.

Answer 4

Well this rings about a million bells with me, the only difference being that my children are 6 and 4 and they are great. they are the two things in my life that keep me going.

But as for the husband, well I feel exactly the same. He actually said to me tonight, that he doesn't want to be around me. When he is drunk he is so nasty to me,tells me he hates me n stuff. But then sometimes he is so nice. It is like living with Jeckle and Hyde and I never know what to expect.

I feel completely stuck, the advantage I have over you is that my children are young and loving and want to be with Mummy all the time. However that is also my disadvantage, as I want them to have a Mummy and Daddy and so don't want to split the family up. Your children are grown now, and although I am not saying they won't be upset about it, at least they have their own lives.

You should try to speak to your husband about how you are feeling - although from experience I know that is extremely hard, my husband won't sit down and talk about anything. If he does feel the way you think he does, or he won't sit down to talk about the problems then you should go your own way. You deserve to be happy and with someone who loves you. I know how difficult this decision is, I toy with it so often, and I suppose I am a hypocrite to say leave, as I know I probably won't. But if you have the courage you should.

Take care, and I wish you all the luck in the world, and hope that however it turns out that you find happiness.

If you ever want to moan about your husband, drop me a line.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Im not married and I dont have kids...but here is some advice...

You can either sit down with your husband and tell him how you feel...tell him it is very serious and that you would like to continue your relationship with him and maybe see some relationship help to work things through. Also sit down with your kids, both apart and together with the 17 & 18 year old. Ask them what you can do for each other to make things better. Listen to one another.

And mostly put yourself first, do what you like to do. Set a part of the day just for yourself. Go for a walk, listen to music, go to the mall...do something good to get away from it all for yourself.

Take care.

Answer 6

I know that it doesn't sound easy but make a list of all the good things in your life. Do you like your eyes? Do you have great friends that care about you? Are you known for the best cookies on the block? Do you have pets that you love?

Now, whenever you feel down take out this list of what is great about you.

Next make a list of what you think make you feel better. Do you need more hobbies? Always wanted to take an adventure vacation? Want to go to the gym? Make these your goals and come up with plans to achieve them.

And, don't forget to find a friend, therapist, anyone to listen. Genuinely listen to you. Sometimes just finding someone to listen can be a great help!

Answer 7

At this point in your life, the Son of God may offer you a chance to start over. Jesus is the only One I know of who offers a second chance at everything. Having known utter rejection, betrayal, sorrow, huge disappointments, and much grief, I believe only He holds the the answer for our lives once all our significant relationships break down or are in distress. You must be in great despair at this point. Let me challenge you to consider speaking with a Christ-follower about how Jesus can understand our lives and struggles since He actually put on skin and experienced life on this planet. Some things are really beyond explanation and understanding, like the peace and hope Jesus is able to give us when we cannot see how; but He does!

Answer 8

The important thing is NOT to blame anyone. YOU must take responsibility for the way you feel. Understand that your brain works on patterns. Your brain does what YOU have TOLD your brain to do, what your expectations are for yourself.

For instance how much nonsense you'll put up with from other people, when you look in the mirror YOU tell yourself how badly or well you look. How much money you have. Whether you end up with a bloke who doesn't wanna be with you...

It's also important to realize your brain thinks in 'pictures' and your brain gravitates towards the images YOU put in your mind, never away. So that includes good and bad thoughts.

You're in control of your own life. Start now!

You've got one chance at life.

Answer 9

Try this book that worked for me. The exercises completely changed my life. "You Can Heal Your Life" by Louise Hay.
Keep in mind that when you begin to make changes, you will probably come across opposition from those closest to you. Our relationships serve a purpose or we wouldn't have them. For you to make some changes for your own happiness is going to have the knock-on effect of changing their lives as well. Be strong.
The only one who can change your life is you. Right now, you feel like life is happening to you, but you make your life happen. No one else.
Get the book and don't just read it. Take the time for yourself and do the mindchanging exercises. Any changes in your life are going to start in your mind. You have to visualise before you can create it.
Good luck and I wish you the best for your life.

Answer 10

Write down a list of things in your life that you don't have but would like.
Then write down a list of things in your life that you do have, but down want.
Aim to add as many of the former and subtract as many of the latter that you feasibly can.
If you manage three of each you'll start feeling more empowered and can go on from there.

Remember, life is short. Just because you are a women, doesn't mean that you have to be a slave.

Answer 11

I agree with gypsy, firstly count your blessings, for example at least you're not hurting anyone, you're not making anyone's life a misery, I have a neighbour whose husband has left her (don't blame him!!) & has 2 kids 17 & 18 like you & she has made my life a misery. She's a nightmare & she has made my life hell. Sorry don't mean to bring my problems here but it's way of looking at things.
I think there has been some good suggestions here but maybe you could join an evening class, like yoga & het out & about & that always helps.Yoga is very relaxing for mind & body & it'll help you feel better about yourself.
Also I thought you might like this book, it has helped millions change their lives. (please see link).
Also, have you ever tried healing? it'll lift up your spirit & it has helped me alot. Please go to this site & type ur postcode for your nearest centre; they're very kind & understanding & they work on donations only;
http://www.nfsh.org.uk/component/option,com_wrapper/Itemid,70/

Hope this helps,
with luv