Should sister be this way??

Question

My father past away in March and my oldest sister and her daughter have moved in to help myself and my mother with bills. However, I am beginning to wish she hadn't. Now, whenever my mother talks about selling the house, my sis goes off saying that since she is paying part of the bills, we're not doing anything unless "she" likes it. Is my sis right in thinking like this? My mom and dad have spent 17 yrs paying for this house, never asking anyone for a penny. How can my sis think that by paying a couple months worth of bills, that this is now her house...what should I do? I am old enough to move out, but I don't want to leave my mom with my sis being the way she is???

Answer 1

It is your mothers house, you and your sister are both grown!

Answer 2

If your sisters name isn't on the deed or title, then your mother can do as she pleases. If she wants a smaller place just for herself or to move into a senior housing center, she should do so. It is your mothers decision-she may be able to deal with your sister by paying her back the amount she has paid into the bills for the last few months. But she was living there and should expect to help with expenses if she is living in the home. Talk to your mom privately and let her know you support whatever she decides to do as you are also ready to live on your own.

Answer 3

First, as a widow, (and in talking with other widows) I would encourage your mother not to make any major changes for at least a year afer her husband's death. Major decisions made in the first year are too emotionally charged and are usually regreted, by the widow. Second, determine if your mother has thought of selling because she does not want to live with her older daughter, or if she really wants to move. If it has to do with the older daughter and her daughter, tell your mother to ask her to move...there is no house big enough for two families. If she really wants to move, no one should dictate what she does; she should be allowed to make her own decisions, based on what is best for her.

Answer 4

Its your mother's house and if she feels that now its too much for her and she wants to sell it then your sister's name is not on the mortgage therefore she has no say. Some people are controlling and selfish and there is nothing you can do about that. But you tell your mother that the choice is hers to make and you will stand by her every decision as long as it makes her happy.

Answer 5

your mother has every right to sell her house. and she should do it if 1. the house is too big for the two of you 2. its costing a lot of money for the upkeep or maybe she just wants to move to a different place. none of this is any of your sisters business. maybe she is just thinking the place will be hers after your mother passes on and she is only thinking along those selfish lines. talk to your mom ( in private) about it and encourage her to do what she wants to do.

Answer 6

Your Mom is the one who should stand up to your sis and tell her what you just said. You can always be present to back your Mom up on her decision. If your sis sees that you and your Mom support each other to sell the house, your sis may give in. But all in all, it still isn't your sis's decision to make.

Answer 7

Suggest you take the attidude with your sister of, I don't care what you say and what you think does not matter. She obviously is try to assert her will upon you and your mother. She can only do this, if you care and let her. Be strong, assert yourself..not by argueing or validating her opinions, but by not giving her the time of day when she says such things, and by aligning with your mother.

Answer 8

Your sister shouldn't be this way. She is just taking advantage of your mothers siduation. Also you should tell your sister how you feel. Don't move out, if you do you are admiting that your sister has won.

Answer 9

Tell your sister to grow up...then tell your mother to see a lawyer.........

Answer 10

move , its not worth the headache