What does your child do to make them "deserve" to be hit by you if you believe in spanking?

Answer 1

I started tapping my child's face when he got really bad about biting my nipples during the night (when I am not on my guard to stop it). Everyone said it would work. I had a blocked ducts and a severe scab on one side, I was miserable. I would have tried anything.

It was the worst thing I ever did. Not only does it not work, it is very hard to stop. Of course when someone inflicts pain on you your response is to hurt them back or push them far away so you can escape. Once you break down the barrier you have about hitting it is very hard to get it back. Sure I only tap, it isn't enough to hurt. But a couple of times I have smacked his hand for scratching me, which I swore I would never do. One day I shoved him back with by his face because he bit me so hard. Not only did this cause more damage than just unlatching him and saying no (which generally works fairly well, except when he is in a lot of teething pain) it was awful.

Each day I try to do better but it is hard when I am very tired as I have been doing too much over the holidays. Everytime I touch him other than lovingly I feel like the lowest person on earth. I hate myself and beating myself up just makes the situation worse. I end up wanting to be away from him so I don't hurt him. Even though I have never physically hurt him. I put him in his crib so I can have a time out. Before this I was rarely apart from him and whenever I was I felt incomplete.

Please do not hit your child. You do not want to be where I am. You do not want to feel how I feel.

Answer 2

Well first thing I belive you have to know that not all children are the same.
My daughter for instance spanking wouldn't do anything to effect her behavior. I teach her that we do not hit people, hitting anything else like a pillow is ok but not people. I have had first hand experience; her father and I were joking around and I smacked him on the back of the head, the look she gave me was confused and kinda like lets see if mommy gets in trouble. I had
done the one thing I told her we couldn't to. (you know what I did, I gave myself corner time) hehehe you may think it is stupid and honestly I had to face the wall because I was laughing so hard, but i did it because she is important to me and I know that whatever I say to her I want her to know, that I mean the best for her.

Now don't get me wrong I have no problem with spanking but I know that with my daughter's personality; she is the life of the party, always wanting attention, always quick to laugh, with her, spanking woudn't do any good, I would wind up spanking her just so she could get the attention.
For my daughter she has to be put in a place where the attention is off of her, she is put in the corner and ignored for 3 mins (minute for every year old) then I make her tell my why she is there and that she is sorry. I give her a hug and tell her I love her and she is free to go back and play or continue what she was doing before.
If your child is one that spanking is benificial to; I would say that the only thing that would merit it would be life threatning or an instance where if the worst were to happen a spanking would be the better of the two. For instance running in the road, being hit by a car or a smack on the butt. Spank them...
I don't even think back talk is something that I would use it for, depending on age they are only getting a sense of self or experimenting to see what your reaction is; if you spank then you are showing them how to get your attention. I give my daughter a warning count to three and put her in the corner if it continues. Then Ignore her, I know she just wants my attention and I believe this is teaching her that mouthing off is a bad way to get it because she gets ignored instead...

It is difficult to see but children are just people, they have their own attitude, personality and need to be treated as individuals. What works for one may not work for another look at your childs personality and see what means the most to him, if its attention then use the lack of it as punishment. If its toys use the removal of toys. With some kids if you just show your mad they will get the picture. And there are just some kids that they will not understand that what they have done is wrong until you spank them.

Answer 3

Well first off I agree with everyone so far, hitting and spanking are completely different. From how your question is worded I take it you don't believe in spanking so why ask this question.

However to oblige you, my children get spanked if they do something that can injure themselves or others. They also get spnaked if they are defiant or beligerant and constantly talk back or if they are warned first that they will be spanked if their behavior is continued. Each person has their own form of discipline. I have tried time outs and my children just get up and run around. I have tried taking things away but they don't care. The only thing that seems to get their atteniton is a crack on their bottom. Sorry if some people don't see this as their form of discipline, but I was spanked and so was my husband and neither one of us turned out horrid and we respect our parents regardless.

Answer 4

Spanking and hitting are completely different.

Hitting is more something done out of anger. Spanking is to disipline. No child deserves to be hit by an adult. All children deserve to be spanked at least a few times in their lives.

And no spanking does NOT teach violence. Abuse does.

Kids deserve to be spanked when they are walking through the store screaming because their parents won't buy them a candy bar.
Kids deserve to be spanked when they get caught stealing something.
When they refuse to listen. When they throw a fit and throw something and put a hole through the wall. (I've seen that happen by a kid who had never been spanked before. He got spanked for that, the first time ever even though he deserved it so many times before, and he never did something like that again.)

There are alot of things. All parents have different reasons and most of the time the spanking is needed.

Answer 5

Spanking is a rare thing in our household. We have 4 kids. Usually we talk once, make them write sentences if talking doesn't work, then if they keep it up they get a spanking. I remember quite clearly the number of times my dad or mom spanked me. And I also never got into trouble for the same thing twice if I got a spanking for something I shouldn't have done. I do not believe that an occasional spanking is going to harm a child. I learned my lesson on misbehaving and so will they.

Answer 6

There is a huge difference between "hitting" and "spanking".
To hit someone, you are usually enraged and throw punches like a bar room brawl.
To spank ones child is only to teach important lessons and to keep them out of danger.
For example, if your toddler is reaching for a fan and isn't going to fully understand the gravity of what will happen with loss of limb, then a simple swat on the had will work wonders. It's much the same as learning not to touch a stove because it might be hot. Children come into this world with no perception of the dangers in their enviorment.
An older child must learn as well. I have only felt like I "had" to spank my children a handfull of times, and each time it was over something that could have majorly gotten them hurt.
For example, I had a rule set for my 5 year old to stay away from the drainage ditch near out home. I made it very clear to him the dangers and why I forbid him or his brothers to be there. #1 it's a very dirty place that sometimes garbage ends up and # 2 if there's rain, then it fills up quickly and they could be swept away.
I set the rule for nobody to be anywhere near it rain or shine.
One offense got my son grounded from playing outside for the rest of the day (which was harsh for him). However, the next offense, he not only got in the drainage ditch, but lied and said he was only wet from the garden hose.
That's a double whammy. I don't accept lying or not following clearly set rules to keep them safe, so I DID spank him. I did NOT "hit" him. I did however make it count. I didn't just tap his bottom.
If a parent isn't consistant with what they've told their children is expected of them, then how is that child ever going to trust the adult in any situation, dangerous or not?
That incedent was well over a year ago and I have neither disrespect or lying from him or any one of my 4 children.
I'm not Hitler or anything. My kids know that I love them and the older they get the more they understand the value of having guidlines in their life.
I feel that if I don't teach my children how to follow simple rules and have respect for authority, then it will be up to law enforcement one day and that might be way too late.
To try to simply be your childs friend serves them a severe injustice. They'll never hold down a job and end up in jail.
I think it's because my kids know that I can and WILL spank IF I need to that they put their brains to work before acting out of line.

Answer 7

There is nothing your child can do that will make him/her "deserve" to get hit. If you say "deserve" then you are implying that the child is owed a spanking, which is not true. Think about what type of behaviors your child is doing specifically. I am sure that even the worse thing he/she is doing is not deserving of spanking. Try to keep in mind that when you spank your child you are hurting your child. And hitting and spanking are punishments. What is your child learning from you when you hit? Punishment is not discipline. Discipline is teaching.

Answer 8

1. spanking hitting and whipping are all different things
to me spanking is when you turn a kid over your knee and hit them with your hand or a small pingpong paddle ect

whipping is when you use a belt on your kigs but or switch

a paddleing is when you use a peice of wood paddle ect.

hitting your kid is when your slap them across the face or smack there arm

2 the only reason they need a spaking or whipping is when they disobey the parent
if my 3 year old went out into the street after i told them not to i would take them inside and spank them on the bare butt about 5 to 10 times til i know they have gotten what they deserved then i would put them in timeout for a little while

but if my teen ager had a 4.0 and started making f's and didn't try to study and lied to me about i would whip them and mabey paddle and spank them then ground them for about a month cause thats what my parents wouldof done to me but probaly worse

Answer 9

I don't hit, and I don't beat them, But I have spanked them for: Stealing, Showing disrespect with elders, or with me, fighting with other brothers or sister or neighbors, destroying other peoples property ( like throwing eggs / or throwing rocks ) Pulling a fire alarm as a joke. Yes they got spanking for this and now they are adults with good jobs and have good morals for there community!!

Answer 10

Hitting and spanking are two different things.
A swat is really only just to get their attention. Think about it...even a full on kid meltdown is paused when you lay a hand on the back-side. I'm not sayin' you gotta pull your hand back to left field like a pitcher, just connect enough to make it loud. Cupping of the hand helps that and doesn't leave any welts. Actually, leaving welts is a bit extreme.
I use pressure points. No striking and no bruising. Most key points can be used in public without ANYone noticing.