HELP!!! I need a really funyy joke within 2 hours, try to keep 'em clean and not re!!csist
2007-01-06 05:35:10 · 11 answers · asked by JerxCore 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A Blonde's 2006 Year in Review:
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....labias won't fit in the printer !!!
March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later,the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of my car in rain storm..... car swamped because soft-top was open.
September - When someone asked for a golden retriever.... i thought they meant a smart blonde.
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!
2007-01-06 05:37:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
A young priest had the older Irish priest over for dinner one night. The older priest was surprised to see how young and attractive the housekeeper was.
After dinner, the old priest took the gravy ladle and put it under the young priest's pillow in his bedroom.
A couple of days later, the young priest knocked on the door of the older priest and ask if he could come in.
"Father, said the young priest. If you weren't such a good priest, I would go to the Bishop and tell him you stole my gravy ladle" It has been missing ever since you were over for dinner the other night and I have not had any visitors since."
The old priest replied. "Father, if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found the gravy ladle by now"
2007-01-06 05:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by united9198 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The prophet Muhammad was walking along the dusty road out of Medina when he realized he needed a place to sleep. He saw the root gatherers hut in the distance and headed for it. He knocked at the entrance-way and the root gatherer came to the door and said "Yes". The Prophet said, " I am a traveling religious zealot with delusions of godhood and I need a place to sleep for the night." The root gatherer said, " You are welcome to sleep here, but you will have to sleep up in the loft with my pre-teen daughter." He answered "OK" and climbed the ladder to the loft. The next morning he came down and squatted down next to the root gatherer and accepted a cup of tea. The root gatherer asked, "Did you enjoy sleeping with my daughter?". The Prophet said, "Yes I did very very much, but I have to ask, why was there rice in her mouth?". The root gatherer replied, "Oh, that is not rice, that is maggots, she has been dead for two years."
2007-01-06 15:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by iknowtruthismine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whats a pig that knows karata
Porkchop
If you need good jokes go to Yahooligins Jokes
2007-01-06 05:38:36 · answer #4 · answered by allisonallydavashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The other day my friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana, and I was like, nah, but I might want a regular banana in about 2 hours, so, yah
2007-01-06 05:38:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok this could be a blonde shaggy dog tale: there grew to become right into a blonde in her front backyard and he or she grew to become into in a row boat. yet another blonde comes out the domicile and seems on the different blonde in disgust. "you realize, it somewhat is blondes such as you that provide us a bad call! And if i ought to swim over there, i could kick you butt! Yo momma so previous, her breast milk is powdered! How do you maintain a blonde busy? positioned her in a circle formed room and tell her to locate the corner. How do you maintain a blonde busy(see next line) How do you maintain a blonde busy?(see ultimate line) desire you like them!!!!!
2016-11-27 00:05:00 · answer #6 · answered by magnusson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you call a man who crosses the ocean twice and never takes a bath
A a dirty double crosser
2007-01-06 05:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by groverpawhurt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what are the strongest days of the week?
answer:saturday and sunday because the rest are weak days
U GET IT? hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
2007-01-06 05:49:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the stupid lady put lipstick on her head?
too make-up her mind!
2007-01-06 05:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by trustnoone929 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man goes to see his doctor. He tells the doc, "Doc please help! I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam."
Doc says "Calm down son, you are two tents."
2007-01-06 05:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by Nancy O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋