trust issues?

Question

do you think that trust issues are sometimes just in your head? if you know you're with someone that is completely faithful and trustworthy, yet you've been screwed over in the past, how do you keep those trust issues from harming your current relationship? just wondering if anyone else has this problem and how they deal with it.

Answer 1

You need to realize that not every one is the same, we all see the world differently, We first need to forgive ourselves then forgive the person or persons that we feel did us a injustice and toke so much with out even thinking twice about it, the only person we are hurting is ourselves, because we are losing out on our future due to our past, I hope my answer helped in some way.

Answer 2

Interesting question...having been burnt in the past, I now try to accept that the relationship that I'm in is completely different than the previous one. Sure I have moments where I feel a bit insecure but I try not to look for "tells" or "signs" and rather enjoy the moment. Having the ability to talk to your GF or BF about the issue also helps, as long as they're understanding. I guess if it persists, try talking to a relationship counsellor...I haven't had to go that route but fortunately my GF and I have great communication, that definately helps.

Answer 3

Yes, I have. Last week, I just went to Vegas for a whole week without my boyfriend, and almost the entire time, I was wondering if there were any girls at my house(we live together) and what they were doing.
I 100% completely trust my boyfriend with everything. But sometimes it does cross my mind. If you trust him, then dont worry about it. Nothing should happen, but if so there are signs leading to unfaithfullness. I think that it happens and crosses everyones minds!

Answer 4

This is a part of human nature. I think with time you will learn to trust. Just like the way you trust your mom or your best friend. If not and there's always this little thing in your head that doesn't trust your partner, then listen to your instinct. You subconscious could be telling you something.

Answer 5

Actully it is something in you mind.Just to let you know that you are not alone in that same situation. I has wounded(not physically by mentally) by my ex boyfriend. But when my Mr.Right came I kept throwing things up in his face about how bad my ex did me.
You will have to learn how to trust again. There are a lot of females who miss a good man because they are still holding on the past. You have to think to yourself, this person have not been nothing but good to why do them bad.
Do not hurt people because some else hurt you... You may be surprised this may be the person you have been waiting for all your life... You just have to just again and let the past be the past and not infere with the present and the future...

Answer 6

I like this question, ok because I know that i was feeling the exact same way, you are feeling now. Because it's like you love your mate and you trust him in every way,but its just that the past relationships make you kind of wonder, b/c we all know that no relationship is perfect, but the relationship you are in just seems so right, but it's scary but at the same time you like it, b/c he treats you like no other one has ever treated you, so your not really used to it, but you can get used to it...lol it's a good feeling that he gives you, ..(trust me I know somthing on how u feel) but you just have to try n get over the past, and just tell him how u feel about him and how he doesnt treat u like ur past boyfriends have and thats what you like about him....trust me, he will love it lol best wishes..

Answer 7

I'm in my second marriage. My first marriage ended because he continued to date other women throughout our 8 yr marriage. I'm now married to a wonderful man I have known for 21 years. I was only 13 when we meet and became friends. He is wonderful and would never cheat on me I believe. I still wonder what if the right women came along to tempt him. things like that always come up in my mind, but I try to push it aside and go on how wonderful our marriage is. If he has given you no reason to doubt him then don't. You will only borrow trouble. Just have your thoughts and go with his actions. It is a blessing to have a wonderful man. You just have to learn to trust and have faith. If you never trust him, you can never completely love him. Good luck

Answer 8

i have the exact problem. i was determined to trust my fiance, even though i thought there were some strange things going on. turns out i was right, but did not find out until after we were married. she asked me to marry her. afterwards a guy came to my house and told me the whole story and they had been seeing each other the whole time.
i now have a wonderful fiancee, who it took a long time to trust, but i do. i just had to tell myself, everyone is not a liar and eventually the truth comes out. if you give the other person the trust you want them to give you, things seem easier. just don't be the one to sabotage the relationship. don't do things to make your partner jealous, what ever they may be.

Answer 9

We will always remember the bad things that happen to us, thats the way the brain works. When something outside myself is bothering me, I look inward. Why am I feeling that way. Is it self esteem, is it my past history with the same situation, is it jeolosy. When I feel like you described I usually try to remember some good things about the relationship. Good luck and be patient with yourself and others.

Answer 10

Yes, many people have this problem. There is no other way to overcome it other than just close the door on the past, learn from it, but don't look for it where you are now. See, bad experiences are often like lingering bad smells......if you let them be :)