Why is it that the mother in laws always interfer in your life?? then they want to run it and tell how to do evrything when your old enough to make your own decisions.. but what if your not strong enough to KEEP standing up to her?? what do you do give up on the best thing in your life??
2007-01-06 04:48:28 · 24 answers · asked by cheekie_manda2004 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell your husband to stand up to her! Besides he's her son. If he can't he should not expect you to.
2007-01-06 04:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by C H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't give up, if you truly love him stand together.
I have one just like this.....and what I started to do was listen, and respond with Oh Really, How nice, oh my, and that's wonderful. (she didn't have a come back if basically I was agreeing or didn't have a different response)
No other input....(don't talk about money, jobs or kids)
Kindness Kills.......
Any gifts she wants to give or get and will call and ask sizes I give them to her and respond with Thats very kind of you, We so much appreciate your kindness and help.....
When at her house keep busy always moving...helping with dishes, setting and clearing the table. Another thing I always did was stop and get five to ten dollars worth or flowers....given with a smile....for every visit.
She won't know what to do if you turn the table. Always smile, respect her and when you get home....>>Vent in the bath room or laugh it off...the latter of the two is what I choose....Venting doesn't help and isn't healthy for the relationship (unless you have a close girl friend you can talk too)
It his mother and he knows how she is, he had to live with her for 18 years plus.....
Just don't let her get to you.......it isn't worth it.
The best thing we ever did was move, however we were blessed with her visits twice a year.lol
Best wishes
2007-01-06 05:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh I'm gonna love answering this one hehe
My ex mother in law bless her she's passed away now so i forgive her. My marriage broke down because of my mother in law. We couldnt go on holiday without my mother in laws input as to where when and how. When I was dating my ex hubby, my mother in law forbid him to see me even though he was 21 years old. It took me years and years to get over my marriage once it did break up, and yes my mother in law was very proud to inform me my ex was dating oh only not even 1 month after our divorce. The only advice I can give is, if you and your husband love each other you both have to stand firm and if he won't you must, she has to realise he's not that little boy anymore whom she can tell what to do, and your hubby has to realise there's only 2 in a relationship you and him. Don't let go because of her, you only going to put yourself through years of missery, I've been there and til today I still live with the remorse and regret. No I don't want him back but I would still be with him if I didnt let her interfere. Don't let her destroy what you and your hubby have.
Good Luck - You gonna need it :o)
2007-01-06 04:56:45 · answer #3 · answered by Alida A 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been lucky both of my mother in laws have been good ones, not to say I have not had to say something to them once or twice. Why are you not strong enough, can't you just tell her that you are not going to do it that way.
Now you do know if you are living in her house, to do things your way, you must get your own house & if your not in her house tell her kindly but firmly that she's a great mother and did a good job and you are going to raise your family and love her son the way you want too.
2007-01-06 05:06:06 · answer #4 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh Gosh, Mother in law hey!
Have you tried talking to your partner?
He needs to know exactly how your mum makes you feel; what she does, and that it's putting a strain on the relationship.
But, I am afraid that you have to keep standing up to her.
Because if you don't, she will be only too happy to make your life a misery;
If she keeps pushing you, just tell her loud and clear that she's not welcome to your house, and if this spoils things with your husband, you can always apologise like you don't mean it at all.
You know these women they tend to be very sensitive and she will be very careful in the future.
You'll have one on her.!x
2007-01-06 04:56:29 · answer #5 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mother in Laws can be a complete nightmare. My mother in law is totally out of the picture until she sorts out her attitude.
remember, your home, your relationship & family etc are under your control not hers. Just because she's your partners mother doesn't give her the right to interfere. Tell her to pack it in or get lost. Either way at least you'll get a bit of peace. GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-06 05:06:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe it is the husband's job to make sure his mother is not being abusive to his wife. Communicate openly and honestly to your husband about how you feel and why. You have an obligation to treat your husbands mother with respect however she should return the favor and when and if she does not your husband should step in immediately. If he waivers with the excuse that this is his mom and ya da ya da ya da don't be put off.... tell him in no un-certain terms that he married you not his momma and that means he will always love his mother but he protects and loves you now, even from her!
L.
2007-01-06 05:16:10 · answer #7 · answered by tink3610 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell her your a big girl now and can handle things your way, then thank her for her concern, after all she's gonna be around for some time, so stay on her side but don't let her run your life....you don't have to keep standing up to her, say what you mean and mean what you say, she'll get the message eventually
2007-01-06 05:59:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Use tact, sometimes ask for her advice, she'll love giving it but you don't have to act on it, just agree and then do your own thing. You will never win against a strongwilled woman, in her eyes you have taken her baby boy away and are not good enough, so play her game and appear to go along with her ideas, agree and nod, then as I said do your own thing
2007-01-06 04:52:09 · answer #9 · answered by Jaffa1700 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Move away from her. Then do not answer the phone when she calls for awhile. Then let he know if she wants a relationship, it is to be by your rules, not hers. Set some boundaries. But if your wife is not down for this, then you are stuck. Either you find a new wife, or you put up with it until your wife gets a back bone. Which may be never.
2007-01-06 04:54:57 · answer #10 · answered by It All Matters.~☺♥ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should ask your spouse to speak to the mother and tell her to back off. I'm lucky I dont have this problem anymore but I used to and my husband spoke to her and let her know that I do take care of him and my kids well enough not to need anyone elses help and if need it i will ask. And she has pretty much backed off and treats me like I was one of her own kids.
2007-01-06 04:52:41 · answer #11 · answered by stormyblythe 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋