Every year when planning my daughter's birthday party, there is always some sort of drama (such as uninvited guests showing up & asking for a ride home). This year it started the day the invitations went out. My daughter usually has a big party but this year wanted to do something that costs $25 per kid. I told her ok but she was only allowed to invite 5 other kids. The invited 9 year olds, of course, started talking about it in school, & other girls found out. One girl went home crying and her mother had the audacity to call me at work to find out "what was going on & was her daughter really not invited". I was floored! I explained the situation even though I felt I shouldn't have to. My daughter has not been invited to some parties but gets that the parents probably made restrictions. I would never call & demand an explanation, especially at their place of employment. I refuse to not allow my daughter to celebrate with friends. Shouldnt she be allowed to choose with whom?
2007-01-06 04:16:59 · 30 answers · asked by FunkSoulMother 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Of course you're not wrong. If you aren't able financially to throw a big huge party then the parents of the other kids should respect that. They should explain it to their kids instead of getting all offended about it. I always understood why I wasn't invited to some parties. I think it's crazy how everyone is so worried about their kids being devastated over something like this. Yeah they'll be sad but it's not the end of the world. It's definitely not worth interrupting you at work over.
2007-01-06 04:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by TMS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha- I would have said "the admission price for uninvited guests is $50"....
That is pathetic that someone would call you up at work for such a nonemergency.
9 year olds are old enough to understand that not being invited to a party is nothing personal... especially if they're not CLOSE friends (I'm sure your daughter invited her best friends)! You said your daughter understands this, so obviously the other child's emotional immaturity is being enabled by her parents.
I remember not being invited to parties at around that age, and I felt a little miffed, but then found out that the majority of other kids also had NOT been invited and got over it in an hour (or so).
Anyway, I would be upset... and make a note NOT to invite the overprotective mothers' daughter to the next party (would she complain about not getting enough cake then, about a pink party favor when her favorite color is purple...?!).
If you know this mothers' email address, maybe you could send her a note stating something like "I almost got in trouble at work due to your phone call arriving while the CEO of the company was present. I would appreciate you NOT calling me at that number unless it is a REAL emergency. Thanks and I'm sure you understand!..." Eventhough that is not true, atleast that will get the point across and set the boundaries in no uncertain terms (so that, if you send cupcakes to class one day, she doesn't call you up at work complaining that her daughter is allergic to choclate and why didn't you buy nonchoclate snacks....)
2007-01-06 12:40:40 · answer #2 · answered by Jessie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well of course it's crazy for a parent to call you on this but at the same time you sort of bring it on yourself by essentially blowing off a large number of people and getting exclusionary about a bd party. People are super-sensitive these days, and kids moreso than any as someone said above, and you have to factor that in with decisions around kids. Why people make such a big deal out of birthdays I'll never understand, but whatever. Damaged psyches over a birthday party, wow! We have truly lost it as a society.
2007-01-06 14:15:54 · answer #3 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:You did nothing wrong. Its not a Tom Cruz wedding where you have to invite the world. Its a B-day party and the choice is up to your daughter whom she invites. Just tell the others that you only have room for so many and regret that you can not invite everyone who would like to come. Thank them and no other explanations are justified. Do not make a fuss with any parent as your daughter will pay for it thur her friends. Have a great party.
2007-01-06 12:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am appalled at the rudeness of this other parent. When I was a kid my mom would have beat my @ss for going home and asking her to get me an invite to someone else's party. It is your daughter's decision who she celebrates with, not anyone else's. Now if your daughter was going around rubbing it in people's faces that they weren't invited I could understand the mother being upset, but that doesn't seem to be the case. You absolutely did not have to explain yourself to this other woman and should have told her that at 9 years old her daughter is old enough to know how the real world works and that not everybody gets invited to every party.
2007-01-06 12:23:32 · answer #5 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about throwing the 'special' birthday party with just 2-3 of her closest friends one day and having a 'regular' birthday party on another day? Like do one the day of her birthday and the other the following Saturday?
My mom sort of did this, she always took me and my best friend out somewhere really nice (like red lobster) of our choice then had a regular birthday party for my other friends.
You have a right to be upset about this and I'm sure the other parents feel slighted. Were they the parents that didn't invite your daughter to their childs' birthday party?
2007-01-06 15:11:54 · answer #6 · answered by sassydontpm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I completely agree with your being upset, that is just ridiculous!
The sad thing is, you can't expect it to disappear quickly, it's still going on for me, (14 yo) but not in the exact same way. My last birthday I had a...pricey :)... slumber party with a few of my closer friends. Because of the price I was required to kick in my two cents for some of the more not NECESSARY things, like a cool little loot bag. When a few of them just decided not to come suddenly I had lost about 20$ (10$ each) on them.
Also, it will get harder for her to hand out invitations, when instead of running home to mommy the other girl will question her directly, which can be very very flustering.
Just be prepared for all this, Help her along with it, and until then treat any confrontation like the phone call the way you did this one, it was completely reasonable.
2007-01-06 12:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by A Reading Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did nothing wrong, and I think the other parents have gone overboard with this. You do not owe the parents any explanation. You told your daughter to choose 5 friends and she did. I understand parents do not want their children to excluded from events and such, but it's just a birthday party...
2007-01-06 12:41:41 · answer #8 · answered by blueeyeskenai 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did not owe that woman anything...this is your child, her birthday, your money.
I would have told her I resented the call and explained I owed her no explanation, told her not to ever call me at work again over some "mess" and I would have hung up.
You daughter should be allowed to choose whomever she wants at her party. If other children get wind of it...oh well!
Life lessons begin at childhood. This will not be the first time those other children did not get invited to something or selected for something. They will get over it.
2007-01-06 12:33:47 · answer #9 · answered by femmenoire@sbcglobal.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
of course she should choose who comes to her party. and you have every right to make restrictions.the other mother shouldnt have called you, she should have explained to her daughter that she cant have her way all the time.it would be easier for her to learn that as a child.personally, i wouldnt want an invitation that i had to beg for.tell your daughter to have a happy birthday and that she shouldnt feel guilty or responsible about how someone else feels about HER birthday party
2007-01-06 12:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by earthgirl766 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋