I have paid for the dress and bargained shopped for $ 900.00 in other items used in the wedding including his wedding band! Then I put $100.00 in the wedding account. Ok it started out a Church wedding. This is my daughter I raised alone. My x -husband choose not to be in her life in any manner $ either. I was upset when the groom changed the wedding to the Beach, I told my daughter that I would adjust, Then Its a reception has turned into 1000.00s of dollars. I told them I would pay for the wedding which is about $300.00 more and I'm done. My daughter should know I spent my savings on all of this, and I live on disability. I have a lot of health problems that one may prevent me from going to the wedding, I have to have surgery 3 weeks before the wedding, unless I put it off. This is making me feel horrible but there is nothing I can do. I can't get a loan because I can't pay it back. Her father is a dead beat dad D>L> that has money and will not help. Any suggestions?
2007-01-06 04:14:21 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Joanna,
Do not feel badly as you have done what you could and a lot more because of your personal and financial circumstances. The bride and groom are grown adults who have made a decision to get married and with it, the wedding expenses. I say they are the ones who should be financially responsible for the most part, no matter what the traditional "rules" say about who pays for the expenses. It is all a collective effort and you have done your part. My suggestion is to stand firm and say "no more money!" Take care of yourself FIRST in this stressful time.
2007-01-06 04:33:52 · answer #1 · answered by Mei Lin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter is probably more than aware of your financial situation and as such her and her husband should be kicking in to help with expenses. As a single mother you should not be expected to put out all the money for your daughters wedding. I would make one suggestion however and that would be to have your surgery postponed until after this ceremony as hopefully this will be the one and only time your baby will marry and you don't want to miss the happiest day in her life. Talk it over with the couple and explain the situation to them and if they need to go to the bank and get a loan on their own then so be it.
2007-01-06 12:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would sit her down and tell you excatly that...you are spent you love her but any more weddings items will be on her. When I got married I didn't excpect my parents to pay for it at all. I also have 4 girls and as they get older they will know I am not paying for the entire wedding.
My thoughts are....the only thing that matters at the wedding are the bride and groom. Everything else is just material that won't make or break the love that the 2 should be sharing. best of luck
2007-01-06 12:19:16 · answer #3 · answered by workit 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to start down scaling and maybe returning some stuff deciding what she really wants. You need to tell your daughter the money tree is dead. We paid for our wedding 100% by ourselves. we made it a point not to ask for help. Someday your daughter will have to grow up and realize that she has to work for things she wants now is as good of time as any. You have helped more than enough spend some time taking care of yourself now.
2007-01-06 12:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by emmandal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would never have my (single mother of 3) pay for my wedding if it puts a strain on her because i love her too much for that. i'm 21, still in college and won't even let her pay for dinner when we go out. your daughter may feel the same way so you should tell her that you can't do it. if she appreciates all you have done for her thus far (all by yourself!!) then she will not want you to stretch yourself thin and will finance it herself. if she does not understand, then tell her to really grow up. it may be hard for you because she is your daughter and you are used to doing what you can for her. good luck with your plans
2007-01-06 12:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by morequestions 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you are NOT required to pay for anything - today, wedding expenses are the bride and groom's responsibility with parents on BOTH sides helping out were they can. If you can not afford to pay anymore, put your foot down. They might not like it, but they are being very selfish expecting you to pay for THEIR wedding. If they need to take out a loan to do it - that;'s their problem, not yours.
2007-01-06 16:00:51 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Knowing the financial bind you are in, your daughter and her fiance should have saved some of there own money to have the wedding of their dreams, I think they are expecting too much from you. Try not to stress to much, you can't get blood from a stone! Is the dead beat dad invited to the wedding? If yes ask him what his intentions are financially....tell him its in lieu child support owing!
2007-01-06 12:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My gosh, these days those old traditions have gone out the window. Couples getting married are usually working, so they pay for their own weddings, and plan and save accordingly. I think you got took by your daughter....
2007-01-06 15:16:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No..... You get a life old girl.. what what , Wheres your sense of humour ?
2007-01-06 16:28:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋