Please help me i really need help(i'am 18 hes 26)?

Question

please help me, my fiancee got angry at me cuz i was late comming home. he was drunk and he started yelling at me and started beatibg me with the rolling pin, im fine now, the dr's asked what happened and i toldthem i had fallin down the stirs. i'm really scared and he doesnt know that i'm pregnant(i found out last week and i just dont know how to tell him) he's never yelled at me and has never hit me untill now and i really really love him, but i dont know what i should do. i'm really scared cuz friday is usually his drinking night and i dont know if hes gonna be mad at me for what ever reason. before he didnt drink he was so good to me never yelled never said bad things to me never hit me but now when he sees me crying cuz i'm scared he says "oh mami i'm sorry u no i luv u girl" or "mami im sorry i dont mean it and i'll stop hurting you" i know he is a really great guy and i no he does love me but i dont know how to deal with the beating, (hes hit me more than 1 time) wat shold i do

my family doesnt believe me about him they say"oh you just are over reacting" do u think once i get married to him things will change?


when i ask him why he does this to me he says"ay chica,if u act like a child u will be treated like a child and will be put back in your place"

i was late home cuz my friend just had a baby and wanted me to stay a little longer with her untill her husband got back to the hospital and i was there till about 1 and got home around 1:30


i've tried to leave him but i am too weak, i really need help and i know it, he is good to me infront of my family,his family, my friends, his friends and when we are just in front of people, but then when we get home, WHOA he changes just like that

my family thinks he is sooo good to me and that he would never do anythin to hurt me, i tell them what he has done to me, they jus tll me"Ahh u dont no what u say,yur crazy, he never hurt u so why do you lie?" i tell them i am not lying and they just tell me to stop talking.

as u can probebly tell my family doesnt speak very good english, my dads family is mexican and my moms family is native american and they only speak a little english, its my moms family that doesnt believe me, my dads family doesnt like him, after they saw the tatoo on his back that said "mi fuego de los corazones" which means my hearts fire and had a picture of me above it they thought it was a little obsesive.

Answer 1

If you marry him, things will more than likely become MUCH worse. No one deserves to be hit, it's abuse plain and simple. What will you do when you have your baby and he comes home drunk? Do you think you'll be the only target?

Answer 2

Your gonna have to face the fact that any man who beats his woman (no matter what the reason) is not a good man! He says he loves you, but what he does when drunk seems to say the opposite! I see its complicated because you are pregnant and he doesn't know, but you need to tell him somehow. I'd advise letting all your closest friends and family know whats been going on, if they don't believe you then they have got serious problems (friends and family should stick together and believe you over serious stuff like this). Even if he's nice in front of them, they'd have to be pretty stupid not to believe you!
Also, what kind of guy is he if he's 26 and cant handle his drink?! I'm 25, drink regularly, and never get violent off it, just happy, and i'd never hit a woman.
Don't let him bully you, you sound like a nice girl, and you don't need a nasty man controlling you like that!
Good luck, i hope it all works out.

Answer 3

This sounds pretty sad and you're only 18 years old. Now you're pregnant and this is the wrong time to have a child. If you stay with him it will definitely only get worse. He does sound possessive and controlling. The way he's talking to you and treating you..he has NO RESPECT FOR YOU. He says that he treats you like a child because you're acting like one. Whatever....what gives him the right to talk to you like that. The bad part about it is that you family doesn't believe you. Well at least your father's side believes you. You need to ask them if you can stay with them until you get back on your feet. That might not happen until the baby is born.

This "so called" man doesn't love you. No man beats on a woman he loves. PLEASE leave him. If you care about your life and your unborn child's life...LEAVE HIM. Don't raise your child in that kind of environment. Its going to be hard but things will get better once your out of the relationship. I hope things work out for you. FORGET THAT LOSER!!!!!

Answer 4

Leave him.

If you're in a relationship where the person who is supposed to love you is the one who is hurting you, then might as well don't be in athat relationship. If you are pregnant with this guy's child, u better keep the baby away from him. Cause when he's done beating you up, he'll be going after your baby. Not scarin' you into doing anything you don't want to do, but now that you're a mom, you have to think for two people, not just yourself.

Don't believe what you're saying about 'he does love me'. Love ain't suppose to hurt. Wake up, hun. If you believe that he only hits you when he drinks, you better make him swear off alcohol before you marry him. Who knows when one day, the blow becomes too unbearable for you. Just think about it, alright?

Answer 5

he doesnt love u. a real man would never hit a young lady, but u can do better than that. ur family needs 2 be beat, cus da min they hear about a guy hitting a woman in the family, they should be the first to step up n regulate things. things arent gonna change 4 the better, they're gonna get worse actually. n think, if he's doint this to u now, wat will he do when the baby arrives? he'll do the same 2 ur child. LEAVE GIRL! if u stay, this could possibly mean your life.

Answer 6

Get out, don't be weak. No man should ever hit a woman PERIOD! Don't have to support of your family? Go to your friends, or other family member not in your house or the police. I'm not kidding. Don't waste your life and your future baby's life on a loser like him. This is my own opinion, have never been in situation like this, but there is no way I would be around anyone that would yell at me or ever lay (from physical abuse) a hand on me. Seek help from a womens shelter.

Answer 7

Get out of this relationship immediately. Abusers always make excuses for their behaviors. Nothing justifies a man raising his hands on a woman. The abuse is not only physical but emotional and verbal. He minimizes your feelings by treating you like a child. He needs help. Leave him discreetly, do not let him know as you might not know of his reactions. Get a restraining order if he tries to approach you. This is serious business. He needs help with his alcoholism. Stay away from him. You could always find one of his family members or close friend to help him. But do not get personally involved as he will victimize you. He is a coward. Why does not he beat up on other men? because he is afraid of the repercussion and you are the ideal punch bag. If your family does not support your decision, that is their problem. You have to watch out for yourself if no one can watch out for you. You are young, you have plenty of time to find a decent boyfriend. When you find him, you will clearly see the difference. He also is manipulating you by telling that it is your fault so he could find more justification to beat you. Get as far away from that man as possible. Be safe.

Answer 8

Wow, for sure this is abusing relationship, 1-verbally, physical abused. Especially if you're pregnant. Now the first thing you need to do is grab your personal stuffs , and go to a shelter for woman right away and put charge on him. If you don't it might get worst and you might loose the baby. So for the safety of you and the baby, please leave. Advice. Good luck.

Answer 9

If he hit you he needs help & so do you. It's not up to to stay if you have a child on the way. ou need to call a woman's shelter for help. You might think of a group that helps non drinkers deal with drinkers. Don't ever lie for scum that hurts you. Also please think on this. What if he does something to you that kills your baby? Get away as fast as you can. Tell him to get the help he needs.

Answer 10

you shouldnt be treated like that whether he's drunk or not. and i believe you should get up and leave him and find someone better. you dont deserve to be treated like that and maybe the age difference could be a problem, maybe not. but girl, you should definitely leave the guy, find someone better, and being abused isnt necessary.