Embarrassing Parents?

Question

My parents are so embarrassing. i'm 13 and they treat treat me like my younger brother and sister and i'm sick of it. i know i am small for my age but what can i do?

1) they have a 9pm bedtime for me only 30 minutes later then my 9 year old bro and 7 year old sister. 2) they have a set bath schedule for me 3 times a week we all have to follow and they keep the door cracked at bathtime and still check on me 3) they don't let me watch anything other then g or pg movies 4) i am only allowed 1 hour of tv a day 5) if i get in trouble they put me in timeout or if it is really bad they still spank me like my brother or sister. 6) they make me wear a helmet if i am on my bike or skating.

those are just a few of things. what can i do?

one other thing they still have a babysitter at night if they go out

Answer 1

Been there! From hindsight here is what I should have done (as opposed to what I actually did...):
-Ask to have a discussion with them. Tell them you feel old enough to have a later bedtime. (although, what are you doing past 9pm, anyway? You really should get your rest for school!) Maybe negotiate a 9:30pm or even 10pm bedtime. I was a senior in high school and STILL had a 9pm bedtime.
-If you prefer to take a shower everyday, ask them if it's too much for you to ask to get up before your brother's and sister's and take a quick shower. Let them know it's embarassing for you to have the door open and them checking in on you when you're nude.
-Maybe they'll let you watch a "pg-13" or even ::gasp:: "r" movie if they are with you. Try picking movies that are somewhat educational or family films that you can all watch together and that you don't feel is degrading to your age or intellect.
-You should only have 1 hour of TV a day. Trust me.
-Ask for older, more appropriate punishments. Instead of time out, grounding. One week no TV and so on. Tell them that you don't feel a spanking is appropriate for your age and ask if they can come up with different ways to punish you, rather than the same punishments they use on your younger siblings.
-I had to wear a helmet sled riding. If you're on a street, do wear a helmet. If you're in your driveway, ask them if they can relax that rule. Let them know you will not leave the driveway and will not be speedracer.

If you feel you are old enough for all of this, then also realize that requires more responsibility from you. Keep your grades up in school, do chores for your parents around the house, be a good role model for your siblings...etc. The more mature you seem to your parents the more they will trust that you have good judgement and give you a little freedom. If they give it to you, don't screw it up.

*Your parents have these rules for you (although overprotective) because they love you and want the best for you. Be thankful you don't have abusive parents or parents that just let you do whatever you want (I know it sounds great, but in the long run it's not. This is one of those "you'll understand when you're older"). They also have younger children who (i'm hoping) are a little more difficult to handle than you are. They may not have noticed that you're growing up so fast ::tear:: and would appreciate a mature conversation with you. Whatever you do, don't whine and yell that they treat you like a child. That will not get you anywhere. If the first conversation does not go over well, continue to handle yourself in a mature manner. Try again in a month. Also, remember your little siblings look up to you. Be a good example to them! Good luck!

Answer 2

As far as bedtime, you're probably getting more sleep than your peers which is probably giving you an edge in school. It only seems rediculous to you because your friends don't have a bed time. What time do your parents go to bed? 10:00? They probably want to make sure you're asleep before they go to bed.

With the bath schedule, you should take a shower every day, then their schedule won't apply.

Ask for PG-13, you are 13 now.

You shouldn't need more than an hour of TV a day and this may be because your younger brother & sister will watch with you. How much TV do your parents watch. Face it, watching TV is turning off your brain and not living your life. You're better off without it.

The helmet is a good idea, my husband wears one for riding his bike because he has had a couple of occasions to crack his scull against the concrete even as an adult and experienced bike rider. He also wears a helmet for snow skiing, good for keeping your head warm and intact.

It honestly sounds like your parents run a very strict household, and that they love you a lot. The are just trying to put you on a track for success, all of the things you mentioned are a good idea even for adults (even the time out, and I've met a few adults that could use a good spanking).

Act to your friends like those are your preferences, you like to go to bed early, you don't like TV much, etc. Try doing all of the things you are supposed to without being asked, so that the rules become unnecessary.

Talk to your parents in a calm conversation preferrably at a scheduled time to show that you are responsible enough to make and keep an appointment. Tell them that you would like some responsibility, that you feel like you don't have an opportunity to do the right things by choice and show that you are responsible because of all of the rules. That would be a good time to talk about the movies, PG-13 would be appropriate. Ask your parents to take you to see an R movie that you would like to see so that they can explain what you should be watching out for, what's wrong with them. Don't fight so hard and they'll give up easier. Take heart you'll be an adult with a huge amount of problems soon enough, enjoy this time of little responsibility while you can. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Answer 3

There need to be more parents like them. It shows that they care and love you. An active parent is a loving parent.

1) Yes you need a bedtime...you have school and need rest to grow, it sets great habits, and healthy for you.

* talk to them maybe on Friday night you can stay up a little, But go to them like an adult you think you want to bed. be respectful and nice, good voice.


2) Keeping the door cracked is all about safety. If you fell and was knocked un conscious then they would need to get in and save your life! Schedule is the best thing in the world!

* only 3 times a week.. do you not showered the other days or can do it when ever you want. is it schedule on those days b/c the family is more busy. Think about it

3) Movies your too young to watch anything more. There is to much sex and violence in movies! It will brain wash you

4) you don’t need to watch tv. Your lucky to get that. I am 26 and when I was your age we didn’t watch tv we played outside and use our imagination. There are better things to do

5) don’t get in trouble, listen o them. your luck you don’t get grounded from the phone, computer, tv, toys, video games, going out with friends, and more...

oh boo hoo time out and a little spanking get over it. It could be worse. kids have it bad. some parents hit there kids leave marks and make them bleed. BE THANKFULL.

6) helmet or death if you fall...

I don’t know what to say with that. Think about it honestly its for your safety

Answer 4

Your parents do seem a little slow on picking up on how you're getting older. It's hard. I do still call out to my 13 year old if he's been in the shower a long time, to see if he's okay. I fell asleep in the tub at 15, so there's still worries about that.

TV is bad for you and you don't need more. You really don't need movies that are PG-13, most are garbage. Still, you should ask your parents on a case by case basis for new media what their objections are and why you think it would be okay.

I think spanking is very wrong and hurtful and stupid and there is no good age for spanking a child. It's always wrong. Time-outs? Well, they're not very creative, are they?

I guess it's time for you to show them that you are too old for much of this by calmly calmly calmly talking about your needs and ideas. Remember you really do catch more flies with honey than vinegar - getting people to actually HEAR you is critical, so keep in mind what shuts your parents down.

As a mom of a young teen, I check with my sis frequently to get her thoughts. She has two older teen girls. Sometimes she tells me - yes, let him watch that, you don't want him so sheltered the world shocks him at 18. Sometimes she tells me - no way, don't let him do that! he's tooooo young.

It's hard for all us.

Answer 5

You should talk to them about the spanking. Take them aside and discuss that it bothers you, and you believe you can behave if they eliminate the spanking. They should start finding other methods of discipline.

However, I agree with the other limits they have on you. I'm sorry, I know you don't like that answer. Parents natural need is to watch out and protect their children. This will all be over one day. You will someday by a 40 year old parent yourself, with your own kids. You may say you won't do this to your children, but the fact is you worry. You want your kids to be safe and not get caught up in bad habits or become lazy or end up hurt/killed because of a bike accident, or getting into sex too young or drugs or liquor before you are emotionally able to handle it.

Yeah, it sucks, but make the best of it. It's going to happen. You can discuss with them the need to have privacy at bathtime, but take your bath and earn their trust. Hopefully it will become mutual.

Answer 6

It sounds like your parents run a tight ship. I know it is difficult to be the older child and you must feel like you should have more freedom - but that comes w/ responsibility. Just go w/ it, the more responsible you are the more independent you can become. At this point in life you may be able to sit down w/ them and discuss some of these issues - like the spanking for instance. Have your talk when everyone has the time and things are not already stressful.

Answer 7

I have a 14 yr old bro and he even has a 9pm bedtime. But thats becuase he has to be up at 5am for school. But i have to agree that the bathtime schedual IS a little much. But atleast your kept clean! hehe But the door open and checking in on you isnt right. If my mom walked in to check on my brother he'd flip out. lol. All i can say is talk to them. They are just being parents But maybe they feel they just want to be 'fair' to the other kids.

Answer 8

hey i'm 13 too!!! i get to babysit my younger brother though, i usually sleep at around 10:30, i take a shower everyday (AND I LOCK THE DOOR), i watch PG13 movies-u should be allowed to!, and ouch timeout! i have never done that, and i usually don't wear a helmet (even though i should-hehe). well all you have to do is act really responsible!!! you're parents will notice how well you can take care of yourself and they'll most likely respect that! they'll give you more freedom if you act that way too. you probably aren't allowed out by yourself or w/ friends without an adult or on dates or anything, but if you prove to your parents you can be responsible they'll give you the freedom you deserve!

Answer 9

Sounds like they are doing all these thing to love and protect you, not to embarass you. the bath thing with the door sound a LITTLE EXTREME. But the other stuff seems alright. Try to show them that your are mature, and prove to them that you don't need the silly constant supervision. If they have to get onto you to do your homework, then get it done before they have a chance, take out the trash before they ask you to, clean your room before your mom can gripe, take on someting more grown up, like helping eldery neighbors with out being told, read to you younger siblings, prove to them that your not a little kid, also gently bring it up to them that you feel like they don't trust you and you would like to treated with a little more respect and some common courtesy in the bathroom... hope this helps! good luck

Answer 10

Obey those rules, that will teach you to become a good parent later on in life... dont blame them i know what you meen, but even i get more time with TV and i could go to bed at 10, but i am younger. You cant really do anything about it. they will grow out of that habit of still controling you like they do to your younger siblings. Just put up with it for now.