i have 5 under 5 and my husband pissed off on weds and am struggling to cope with that aswell as having the kids he now after 3 days has contacted me saying he wants to tlak but i dont want to even though if i had him back it will be to help with the kids the love has gone what do i do? i cant get out of the house due to their ages he took the car bank cards everything help!!! any ideas!
2007-01-06 03:23:30 · 15 answers · asked by gullsgirl2000 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
my husband has ocd badly but he gets bad paranoir aswell which doesnt help i have had verbal abuse for 7 years and dont know if i can go back to it now he's left
2007-01-06 03:32:28 · update #1
social services are involved they are taking my kids to school on monday as i cant get there and got me food electrisc etc till monday to last over weekend
2007-01-06 03:33:27 · update #2
Talk to him! You don't have to get back together but you do need to work things out to help you manage.
2007-01-06 03:25:50 · answer #1 · answered by ammie 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Your best will to be contact the Citizens Advise near you. Doesnt the government say that every child should have a nursery/playgroup space or something? You really want to make sure that the payments are kept up on the house, if he comes back or not. The CAB are really good, and you can off load on them, and they will help you sort stuff out, or point you in the right direction. If you have any mates, ask them to help. If he has taken the bank cards, and you have a joint account, you should take advise on whether to freeze it or not. Do you have any friends that have older kids? They can babysit for you if only for an hour while you make phone calls/soak in the bath and try and sort you head out.
2007-01-06 23:09:16 · answer #2 · answered by toothlesscrone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him. But know there ARE helpful programs out there. Not everyone wants to be on them but if they help.. use em! Call your local Social Services department and see what is avail. 5 kids under the age of 5.. is well.. quite a bit. I had 3 under the age of 5.. and THAT was a handful! But seriously lookin into SS.. see what help you CAN get! Even if you dont get back with hubby he will have to pay Child support. Anyways i hope things work out for you!
2007-01-06 03:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by alysza81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I think you need to tell him that you want him to come and take care of the kids for a few days after he gives you a reasonable amoount for childrens needs . Go apply for welfare its not a lot but food stamps will feed you for a while, do you have a job outside the home? Do you have day care? There are programs that help people find jobs and day care programs are available. Ask yourself does he just go off a lot? What do think he does when he goes off? Can you live with that? If not then you know what you have to do. Unfortunately he may be one of those guys who will not do what is right but hopefully your ex might be one of the good guys who do.
2007-01-06 03:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i kinda kno how ur feeling...well ur kids anyway. my dad left my mum with no money, no food in the house and 3 kids, 2 4 yr olds and me 2.
i personally wouldn't hav him back. i kno its hard, but him verbally abusing u isn't good 4 u and is teaching the kids that how he treats u is how women should be treated. u kno, u can get pre-school paid 4 u by the government, and now the social's involved they'll help u as much as poss. they will come n talk to the kids n c how they're feeling. my dad used to hit us around and we had a book called 'my book, my body' teaching us that althrough daddy hit us, its wrong. they'll prob get ur kids doind something like that but for verbal abuse. its very helpful, and while the kids r in one room with the socical officer, u'll b in a diffo one having a cupper, puttng ur feet up and pouring ur heart n soul out 2 another soical officer! it really helps. also, ur neighbours prob heard him shouting at u and may notice a difference in how ur kids play. the neighbours r prob happy 4 u that he's gone and im sure one of them will be willing to look after the younger ones will u drop off or pick up the elder ones. if i knew u i'd defo help u out as much as i culd. y not ask a friend if they could look after them one night so u can go out or just hav some me time. i kno there's alot of them, but put them 2 bed 1st (evn early if its better 4 u) and hav a hot bath, some wine, candles...pamper urself. u deserve it!
and if u need 2 tlk, im here ok? ur not alone. if ur hubby blaims his OCD thats his call. if he knows it exsits, then once he's done having his little paranoid thing, he can come and say sorry. i hav a friend wid a OCD, just washing hands, but if i use her loo, i hav 2 SHOW her taht im washing my hands! she's watching me sayin 'im so sorry..u kno im just weird'! bless. they kno they're doind it. he should say sorry nget help with it
2007-01-06 03:51:48 · answer #5 · answered by evilbunnyhahaha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
believe me, the kids will suffer most if they are brought up in a loveless marriage. Ask social services about financial help to get some of your children in to nursery, all of them if possible. Agree to meet him, but only to talk abiut his responsibility to help you look after the children, he should have them at weekends so you get a chance to get the shopping done. contact the csa, department for work and pensions, and ask about any financial help u may be entitled to. If any of your children are 3 or over, and you live in the uk, then they are entitled to some free nursery sessions, so if they are not at nursery already, make sure you get them into one. dont be ashamed about being a single parent, 1 good role model is better than 2 unhappy ones. good luck!
2007-01-06 05:27:07 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to an attorney and see what type of public assistance you qualify for. YOu may end up w/ more free time if you are divorced because depending on the visitation schedule you work out you may get every other weekend w/o kids.
2007-01-06 03:32:35 · answer #7 · answered by workingclasshero 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you!!, yet feel i need to be harsh and make you understand that if the love is gone any reconciliation without love will only lead to further problems later...take a step back and look at where you are now, where you want to be, and how you can get there. please remember HE has responsibility towards your children and needs to help you with them. Look for solutions in your life rather then the problems.Talk to him(calmly) and make him aware of his responsibilities.No matter how hard things seem now if you concentrate on your future things can only get better....Good luck and god bless all 6 of you
2007-01-06 04:08:51 · answer #8 · answered by Bob P 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a breath. Why is he pissed off? What happen? Is there abuse or why is the love is gone.
You can live with out him. Call a lawyer. Find a place to live.
DHS FOOD STAMPS AND INSURANCE
WIC MILK EGGS CHEESE AND MOE
SECTION 8 HOUSING
DAYCARE IF YOU HAVE TO
CHILD SUPPORT.
IT CAN HAPPEN YOU SHOULD NEVER STAY WITH A SPOUSE FOR KIDS THEY WILL KNOW INT HE LONG RUN AND IT WILL HAVE AN EFFECT ON THEM
2007-01-06 03:28:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him, & set up a regular payment scheme, so he helps with the kids expenses. You don't need to take him back if you don't want to - just get a friend to help with the kids.
2007-01-06 03:38:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need a lawyer. Get emergency food stamps and file for child support. Do you have any relatives that can help? Do you attend a church? You need to reach out for help and there are usually a lot of places to get it. Check out freecycle for clothes, shoes, books, toys, formula, food, etc.
2007-01-06 03:31:24 · answer #11 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋