Break up difficult ??'s for people over 30 to ans. I am afraid?

Question

I am in my mid 40's and I do not think I ever broke up with anyone.This man lives 250 miles away, we have seen each other since spring of 02.18 months ago I told him I was not going to marry, and since then cooled things down in areas of him coming, length of stays, really not Allowing him to do PROECTS IN MY HOUSE WHICH NOW I FEEL may have been a toy to keep me or not do what he needs to DO GET HIS 27K out of his and Ex house, make me depend on him, or think he would have interest in my house. AND NO HIS MONEY DID NOT GO INTO MY HOUSE! He hints for me to leave everything to come where he lives. My house, my job, family TO what?? He was out of a real job for about 3 yrs no telling what debt he has, He lied to me once I thought he was divorced and for a long time he was not SO I said in my heart if he did not sell or make his ex give him his 27 k I would not marry him.( For we could sell off mine have something New together not live in my ex husbands house. date 3 yrs its a circle

3 yrs is a circle you learn a lot then if you can deal its a go. I am in fear how to break up, how to do it. He brought items into my house. ex chain saw, a few tools, blower etc. would I need to give them back? Inever asked for them poss usedme as storage. HOw to break up safely??I was hoping he would get it and break it off by me cooling it last 18 mo. Now CHrismtas due to boyfriends mouth caused a conflict. not allowed in my dad's house. I am over some areas too, I want to Change cannot if he is not willing. I broke up once he drove in mid night and was ringing my bell at 5 AM
I posted before if I could get sued........

Answer 1

My thoughts are that you should spend some serious time (a couple to a few months) away from him, including any distractions by him, to clear your thoughts and figure out what it is you want for yourself. Think about all the qualities you think are neccessary in a relationship and all that you think are unallowable. For example, trust, honesty, openness, communication, willingness to make every mutual effort to make things the best they can be between you are all neccessary I think (for me anyway). Lying, cheating, drugs, abuse, lack of communication, lack of effort are all unallowable (for me). Your list is yours, and you should stick by it and never settle for less. Those are the things that are important to you, your own values. Then decide if you want to be want to be with this man. Figure out what it is he has to offer you and if he meets your standards. Good luck.

Answer 2

Honestly, trying to read that hurt my brain. I had to read it 4 times before I was able to understand what you were saying. You shouldn't drink while trying to write.

Anyway.....

If you are in your mid-40s, then he probably is at least that. If he hasn't learned how to be truthful and remain employed by his age, then I am convinced you are truly scraping the bottom of the barrel with this loser. He'll convince you to sell your house, use you up until you have nothing left to offer him, and then move on to the next dummy and leave you with nothing.

Breaking up is easy. Go get some boxes, collect up all his belongings, make sure you have everything so he doesn't have a reason to contact you further. Then you give him a call, tell him to come get his crap, that it is going out on the curb in 10 minutes, and not to call you again. If he does call you, tell him you will throw his sorry @$$ in jail if he continues to call and follow through. GET A BACKBONE!

Answer 3

One question. Why were you ever "dating" this guy to begin with? Can't you see the color red? Seems like those red flags have been flying right in front of your face since the beginning! What's the problem now? You can't seriously think this guy is relationship material?

Ok - that's three questions where there should be an answer. Wake up, move on, and rearrange your priorities in what you look for in a man..

Answer 4

I would run as far and as fast as I could away from that guy. You need to collect all of his so-called belongings and ship them back to him with a letter telling him you are moving on with your life. I would not do this in person. He sounds like he could be a loose cannon ready to go off. Good luck to you. You deserve better than what you have put up with.

Answer 5

You are old enough and wise enough to see what is going on here. Sometimes it's just hard to admit. He sounds like a user. He's definetely not sincere and that will cause you nothing but hardship and heart ache the rest of your years if you stay with him. It's time for YOU now! Time to think about what YOU deserve. There you go, your new year's resolution: "ME ME ME ME ME!"

Answer 6

You deserve better leave this man. In the long run you will end up being an happy. Good Luck

Answer 7

you just need to tell him that you don't feel that the relationship is healthy for either of you if that doesn't work tell him how you truly feel
about him