Does no one have a mother anymore?

Question

I see SO many questions regarding pregnancy/childrearing issues, and I was just wondering what happened to communicating with people you actually know? I realize that the variety of experiences is vastly greater on a forum like this, but women USED to ask their mothers/aunts/relatives/friends even their doctors about what was normal for pregnancy and the behavior of their children, and up until recent history, that's all the choice they had. Does no one have a mother that they talk to anymore?

While I totally agree with the point that all these children, barely teenagers, on here asking about sex and pregnancy (things I learned both at home and in school by the age of 11) is insane, I was in fact referring to the adults this time.

I'm an only child, and I know that my pregnancy and child rearing experience is not going to be the same as my mother's. What she went through is not the be all and end of all of knowledge on the subject and neither her nor I would every try to claim it as such. But she's still the first person I turn to with questions.
And I already acknowledged the vast wealth of experience provided here compared to elsewhere.

But I do think it is disheartening that so many people turn to strangers rather than people they know, who could possibly give better answers since they have a knowledge of the person's history and full story.

Answer 1

I love my mother and I respect her but as a human being she has flaws. Sometimes she has very good advice and I listen. Sometimes she is part of the problem and I have to look elsewhere for advice.

Sometimes its nice to get advice from anonymous people because they can be more unbiased in their approach and you can hear many different opinions to choose from. However anonymous people can also give bad advice and sometimes are even abusive so you have to take this kind of advice with a grain of salt.

However after saying all of that, I do agree that it is a shame that people don't confide in their families as much as they should.

Answer 2

I talk to my mom all the time about almost every little thing that happens with my children. But that is just one opinion. I think it's important to use other mothers/fathers/aunts/sisters as a sounding board. There are so many different and often wonderful opinions and solutions out there that can be useful. The more I know, the better parent I can become. So hey..thanks to all of you out there that have answered these questions...you never know, your answer could make all the difference!

Answer 3

I do and I talk to her about everything, but let think about it for a minute. I am 28 and my brother is 24, so its been a while since my mom has had a baby at home. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone that is going through the same thing and that has first hand at the moment experiences, than talking to someone that hasn't been in our shoes in a while.

When you talk to other relatives, you always get made out to either be crazy or the bad guy. With friends, if there kid is the perfect little angel (in their eyes) they tell you something is wrong with your child. A doctor could tell you its normal, it could be a phase, or something is wrong, but they really aren't sure and tell you to wait and see. When you talk to a complete stranger, sometimes you come across someone that is going through the same thing you are, so you don't feel like something is wrong with me or my kid is a nutcase, its helps to know that you are not alone, and you can get others ideas on how to deal with whats going on.

Answer 4

I am sure that most people on here probably have someone they know that they actually talk to. It is helpful, however, to have an outsiders perspective.

For example, in pregnancy related topics, a lot of time, women just want to talk to someone else going through the same thing they are...it's comforting.

For other topics like marriage and divorce, it's a nice place to vent off some steam to people that don't know you, or your family. It's also nice to hear ideas or other ways of thinking from people that won't be biased towards either person.

Answer 5

I ask my self the same questions.

More about all the 11 years olds up to 15 years old asking about sex, how to do it, how to be safe, pregnancy and more. They have no clue about sex and protection.

It breaks my heart how many loss kids are out there. And What is sad there not even teenagers most of them who ask sex questions.

where are the parents, why do they have so much Internet time, and alone time to have so much sex?

I fear for the younger generations, one day there going to be the ones controlling the country. And will be suffering from it at an old age.

Things need to be done, kids need help and educated.

I am a firm believer and talking my kids about sex, safe sex, pregnancy, STD, and all that goes with it. They need to know!


so where are the parents?

Answer 6

How would we be here if we did not have a mom? Not to be smart but is that a good question you could have worded it differently a lot of people ask on here because it is more private no one will know that you do not know how to handle certain situations it is a comfort issue in my opinion I still talk to my mom a lot for advice but I realize that a lot of things have changed since she had babies around and maybe someone will be able to answer more accurately!! Thats my answer to the question doesn't anyone have a mother!!

Answer 7

I have a mother to talk to. The only problem is the fact that she had 3 children and NO problems. Me on the other hand, I have threatened pre term labor issues, high blood pressure issues, and just terrible pregnancies in general. She would not be able to tell me anything, as she has never been through it. I think people ask because they want to see if anyone else has been through something.

Answer 8

I don't know about the rest of the folks here, but I was convinced my mom was pregnant back in the stone age, and what would she know about being pregnant now? I know it was arrogant of me, but i also think it is a pretty common occurrence! As for aunts and friend I don't have any of those to ask, so this would have been an inbaluable tool when I was pregnant, and also when I had my miscarriage! I know the people one here don't know everything, and their answers should be taken with a grain of salt sometimes, but it can sure be reassuring to know that your problem is not as abnormal as you think, it would definitely have calmed me down with my youngest baby, because I freaked out at everything with her since I had lost another baby about 2 months before I got pregnant with her. It is just nice to know there is someone there to talk to when you need it!

Answer 9

There are alot of kids here that either don't have a parent around to ask, or are afraid to ask. Hopefully my children won't have that problem. I discuss alot of things with my mother, but that don't stop her from thinking I am an incompetent idiot. Whatever floats her boat. I will say one thing. Yes, SOME things about pregnancy have changed. Knowing what a labor pain feels like ain't changed in THOUSANDS of years. Knowing what will keep you from getting pregnant hasn't either.

Answer 10

I was thinking the same thing. I'm also amazed by how much people worry about every little thing. But it makes sense; we have fewer children, are less exposed to children throughout or lives, and thus have less experience (and fewer chances to get it right). It is disheartening in a way, but seems to be the natural progression of our society.