Co-worker being vindictive, harrassing in the workplace. Do I report this to my supervisor?

Question

There is a girl where I work who has gone off the deep end. She is a large girl and has always been nice to my face. I became friends with a man in the office in which she *was* friends with his wife. I have also met the wife and we get along great. Well, this large woman seems to be jealous of the friendship I have with the man. She has slammed doors, even confronted him and told him she's jealous. Very WEIRD. She has gone to our supervisor and said that she thinks there is something going on between him and I. Our super talked to him and told him just an "FYI" that our friendship is being perceived as more. Then yesterday, this large woman comes to my desk, in front of 2 other co-workers and is grilling me about whether or not I am hanging out with this other couple. If we have ever gone to their house, etc. It was very intimidating and made me uncomfortable. It's bad enough she has the office convinced we are having an affair. Now she's confronting me in the workplace? What do I do?

Ok, let me explain what I did when she came to my desk and confronted me. First of all, I was caught totally off guard. So I answered her briefly and she had a smirk on her face the entire time. I tried to change the subject because I was uncomfortable, but she kept the attitude going and kept bringing the subject back up.

Here is a little background on the office situation:I have only worked in this office for 3 months and she's been there for over 10 years. She is best friends with the director (not the supervisor) and is friends with the other lady who witnessed this incident.
This is not the first time they have had problems with her. Most of the nurses that work for our company don't like her. The thing is, her job does not coincide with mine at all. She had no reason to come up to the front office to make copies, she has a copier right around the corner from her office which is in the back.
I'm afraid if I don't do anything about it that it will come back to bite me.

Answer 1

She sounds like the office bully and could very well be jealous of your friendship. First, speak to your boss about this. While it may not be sexual harrassment, it borders on it based on what she is implying and what she is telling your co-workers. She is creating a hostile environment in the workplace for you. Your employer is legally bound to respond to such a possibility. Second of all, don't back down to her when she confronts you. You don't owe her any explanations about your friendships and if she wants to know, why isn't she asking your friend and his wife and, for that matter, why is she so obscessed about it? It sounds very much like she may have her own fantasies about your co-worker friend. Lastly, do NOT try to defend yourself against her accusations to the others in your workplace. Doing so only makes you look guilty in their eyes. They'll figure out, eventually, that nothing is going on between you. In the meantime, I suggest you avoid private little meetings at work or over lunch. Invite others from the office to join the two of you for lunch so it doesn't look more like a tryst than an innocent lunch and conversation. Also, if you want to socialize with this man, be sure to include his wife--can she join you for lunch, for example? Her presence and acceptance will certainly quash the malicious rumors.

Answer 2

You haven't mentioned how you responded to her harrassment. The other answerers are absolutely right that you'll probably need to get your supervisor, etc., to intervene, but I'd recommend, if you can, that if she does again you stand up, get right in her face, and tell her very quietly that she's being irrational and unreasonable, and something to the effect that she's putting her job in jeopardy by harrassing you. Unfortunately, the wheels of HR often turn very slowly, and if you can convince this woman that she can't push you around, you will be better off. Good luck.

Answer 3

How do you understand no longer something has been completed? How do you understand that your supervisor and this co-worker have not had a private convention? The supervisor is additionally checking with HR approximately protocol in circumstances like this. The wheels of justice do crawl.

Answer 4

You definitely have a big problem. This is definitely harassment if I ever saw it. There are laws to protect you and at this moment you need to sit down and document all the incidents you've had with her thus far. Date/time, if possible, with a general writeup of what happened. If she is falsely spreading rumours about you, she is definitely putting herself at risk. You may want to warn her that what she is doing is putting you at rish with your job and you may be thinking about suing her for deflamation. See if that wakes her up...be sure to have a witness to that comment (make sure it's someone you can trust) - better yet get Human Resources involved. I agree with another saying that you need to get to them before she does. I've had these situations happen to me too and usually when you start mentioning lawsuit in a workplace, they jump pretty fast. It's not right that people can act like that at work and make you feel so inferior. I have included a Human Rights link so you can see that this is serious stuff and you have all kinds of rights that will protect you. Don't back down, let her see she cannot get away with this. Regardless of the situation...it is time for you to push back and protect yourself.

Answer 5

Yes, definitely report all this to your supervisor and those in charge should have a talk with this woman. I feel sorry for you. You aren't going to change this woman, she probably has self-esteem/self-confidence issues because she is "large." Some large people also like to "throw their weight around" for they feel important intimidating other people.

Answer 6

The woman probably feels good about intimidating you and making you uncomfortable, I think. I say stand up for yourself, and confront her. She may be so shocked that you had the nerve that she may leave you alone. Be confident and show her you aren't intimidated. Tell her how it is. The other option is telling your supervisor, however by doing that you may find that he might not care, or it may make the woman angry. I say confront her.

Answer 7

1st of all go straight to your supervisor and tell him or her what has been going on from day one until the latest incident .If they do not do anything go up one higher than your supervisor.Make sure that they know you have 2 witnesses.who seen they way she acted.Stay away from her as much as possible to this gets solved I would also watch your back when you leave work ok anywhere .Until she moves on with her life,Better to be safe than sorry Good Luck

Answer 8

You should definitely report this. You better do it before she does. Once she makes it obvious to all it going to look like you are being vindictive. This is defamation of character and at work that's not cool. Especially if you are looking to advance your career with that employer. you need to handle that first thing Monday morning.

Answer 9

Go to your human resources rep, your boss, and the security people, and tell them you'll get the Sheriff and a lawyer so far up their butts they won't poop right for a month if they don't get this psychopath off your back.

Answer 10

Absolutely see your supervisor about it. Her actions are uncalled for, and you have every right to complain about it.