My daughter is 2 1/2. Can she develop a complex from people asking her if she has peed her pants?

Question

She doesn't want anything to do with the potty yet and she is still waking up soaked. I feel she's not ready yet, but outside family members keep pressing the issue with her. I don't want her to feel bad about herself.

Answer 1

I have three year old twin daughters and I struggled with potty training for almost a year. Everyone thought they should be on track with their cousin who is a month younger than them. I had to sit my family down and tell them NOT to scold them when they wet their pants and sometimes they wanted to swat em for accidents. It was a tough thing for me, but when my daughter cried on the potty because she wet and told me it was all her fault, I put the stop on it. I heard it a million times, but it is true...she will do it when she is ready-have patience and remember that your stress will emanate to her, so relax and let her be a child!

Answer 2

I'm not sure, but I wouldn't ask her like that for the same
reason you have expressed. It very well might give her a complex. Simply asking if she has to go potty is less intrusive and/or demeaning.

Patience, encouragement, and lots of praise seem to be best when potty training little girls or boys. Every child has different stages of development, so don't give up just because some family expert recalls when their "precious little genius" did such and such for the first time. (Usually, its a load of BS anyway.)

Lastly, I'd talk with your Pediatrician and get the facts, general information, and professional advise for potty-training. The last thing you want for your child is for someone to make her feel inferior or dirty. Tell outside family members to butt out, or simply ask them if they have peed in their pants!! I think they'll get the message. Good luck!

Answer 3

I have no experiences on these matters having no children myself yet but here's my two cents (or two pence as I'm English).

In my opinion the potty shouldn't be considered a scary thing as it will promote you child into being scared of it. I would start her trying the potty just before bed time and if shes used it i would reward her, perhaps an extra long bedtime story. Also I wouldn't show myself as mad at her if she had wet the bed in the morning. rather reward her if she hasn't.

I feel she shouldn't think of it as a bad thing that she wet the bed, as all children do, but she should feel proud of herself when she gets over it and learns to use of the potty. Therefore your family shouldn't be making her feel bad about wetting the bed but she should perhaps be rewarded by them if she hasn't maybe.

I apologise for offering advice on a subject that i have not experience on, but it was a good question and I hope this help in some small way.

Answer 4

Do you mean she only wets at night? Or she wets all the time? Potty training is most effective when one person really spends the extra time to help the child learn just as you do when you teach them the ABC's or how to write their name. Buy her frilly fancy sparkley panties and tell her she cant wear them until she stays dry all day. But at night if she is in a crib she cant go potty. If she doesnt wake up and pees herself she is still young-use pull ups at night, reduce fluid intake before bed but she is still in the normal developement for a girl her age so dont worry about it even tho I understand the extra laundry etc. She may not be ready to train for night time yet since she wakes up wet. If she starts waking up dry then get her right on the potty after a nice drink!!! Tell outside members that shes starting to feel bad about it cause every one is too many people telling her what to do-tell them that you and she are working on that right now, thank you very much. You start this process when you think your child is ready but if she can follow directions 3 times like pick up coat, get your boots and your mittens and the child does it in order then they are developmentally ready.

Answer 5

My daugther is three and gets frustrated when people ask her if she has to go all the time. Accidents are going to happen, and if she's going to learn her body's signals, then it's going to have to happen. It's okay to ask, but be casual and not accusatory. Another issue with asking all the time is that she'll catch on that this potty thing is a big deal to you. My daugther realized that she had control of whether she cooperated or not, and it was a huge step backwards for us for a few weeks.
Ever kid is different, and she'll get there in time, don't let people tell you she should be trained by now...deep breaths, relax, try to celebrate this milestone with her.

Answer 6

I recommed these for night time, and I recommend you wait for your daughter to tell you she is ready...do not worry about what others seem to think is right. Your family, your daughter, your house...you decide (Or really your daughter decideds this one) If you want to encougage the use of big girl pants and sitting on a potty then do it, but if there is resistance gently remind your daughter that big girls use the potty and then let her decide...it will not be long and she will say she is ready. also look for a book that she can associate with...we use the "NO DAVID" books...my daughter sees the page where we have "P.U." and I always say we go poops in the toilet not in out diaper...we are moving faster and faster to full time potty (But this is us and not your house, find what works for you.) (Read below)

I have been using the cloth diapers from this company and I have seen my friends use these training pants...This is what we are ordering...my daughter is 21months old and and at the rate she is going she will be completly trained by the summer...good luck.
ps. they resell real well on line to others who use cloth diapers..ebay and through the company itself.

tinytush.com under cloth diapers then look at potty trainning.

All-In-One Pull-Up Training Diaper / Bed Wetters Pants


These super absorbent all-in-one pull-up pants work extremely well for beginners who are learning to potty-train. They provide extra protection for bed-wetters while they sleep. These pull-up training pants are made with a waterproof nylon exterior, lined with 100% cotton flannel. The inner soaker panel is made of cotton flannel and terry cloth to absorb any accidents. These training pants are designed for quicker drying time and to make them easily washable. Available in white. Size goes by the child’s waist measurement.
Laundering...
Turn inside out and wash with mild detergent in warm water. Machine dry on low heat.
Caution: The use of bleach and line drying are not recommended as pants may crack.

Answer 7

this is your daughter and she can't speak up for herself, u need to be her voice and tell family to back off. u r the one changing her diapers and u r the one raising her not them.

i doubt that she will develop a lifetime complex, all kids eventually become potty trained. i have never seen a mentally healthy 9 year old running around with diapers on.

Answer 8

Little kids can get a complex about anything people push them on. You should tell her 'some people have strange ideas and don't care about when a child's body is ready for new things. you will use the potty when you are ready, and we will wait for you to be ready. we'll just feel sorry for those people."

I think it's important for you to not dwell on it either, but for you to calmly defend YOUR CHOICE to other family members. If they say anything, you can say - i appreciate your concern for our family, but the pediatrician says she's right on track.

She's terrific, isn't she?

Answer 9

You need to explain to people that unless they are baby-sitting her that you are her mother and that YOU will be asking her if she needs to go to the bathroom, not them. Some kids take longer than others to potty train, all of my brothers caught the hang of it by the time they turned three. Don't worry she'll get it, she's still a little thing, your family needs to get over it. If you aren't worried than they shouldn't be either.

Answer 10

It is no ones business buy yours if your child wet the bed. One of my middle children woke up soaked every morning up until she was 16. At that time they did not advertise adult diapers. So every morning she showered and put her sheets in the washing machine. It was no ones business but hers. Her Dr wanted to put her on medication and I told him no one died from wetting the bed but children had died from being put on that medication. Yes she finally stopped wetting the bed. From birth she hardly wet during the day, but at night soaked her diapers and her bed. Her kidneys worked overtime at night. If an outsider asks about it put a stop to it. No ones business buy yours and your babies. You can ask the outsider if she has a problem of bed wetting or something. Or tell them its no ones business. My son the electrical engineer did not day time pottie train until he was almost 5, he night time pottie trained at 2. His mind was so active that the potty was low on his priority list. My oldest pottie trained at a year. She is an RN. So do not worry if your little one does or does not potty train early. Especially at night.