I am due to get married in April. I found out my financee took another girl on a trip. I found out through his emails, that nothing sexual happened, mostly I believe because she was refusing him. Never did he say he loved her, but spent alot of money on her with a trip and gifts. After I caught him, he beg forgiveness and wants to still marry. I want to believe him. I offered my friendship and to move on if he wants this other girl and he insist he loves me and only me. He insist he wants to marry and have children. Why would a guy do this? Should I try again?
2007-01-06 02:42:48 · 11 answers · asked by kitty cat 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The trip was while we were dating. The trip to visit her was after he proposed to me
2007-01-06 02:49:54 · update #1
Definately dump the dude! He is looking around because he has a faulse sence of security with you because he knows you love him. It may work out if you get married but you may always come second best, it will be harder to pull out of the relationship if he does the same sh*t when you are married. If I were you I would take a step back and monitor the situation, apply presure by taking girls nights out due time you need to think about recent events that have taken place. Bottom line - you will need to Harden up and not accept second best because at the moment the situation is not good enough for you. Power to you - don't marry a guy that is only with you because you LOVE him, your asking for trouble.
2007-01-06 02:56:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When was the trip? Was it before you were dating? Or since you've been engaged.
I think if it was before you were dating, let it go... no biggie.
If it has been since you've been engaged... RUN!!
No way would I marry someone after finding out he has spent time alone with another woman on that level. This is not a man who is ready to be married, and you need to respect yourself enough and your future enough to see that.
What is going to happen once he has the pressures of a wife and children to support??? You said "she was refusing him" doesn't that say it all right there? He doesn't know what love means yet, because you would never do that to someone you "love".
Sorry, sweetie, I know it hurts... but better now than after 3 kids and a mortgage!
Go find a true "MAN" and someone who can love you and not want anyone else while he's doing it.
2007-01-06 10:48:32 · answer #2 · answered by my-kids-mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the guy a second chance. But, can you postpone the wedding a few months? If this love is true then it will stand the test of time. Seems like some kind of time should pass by before taking marriage vows. Also, I don't like the fact that you caught him as if he would have never owned up to it on his own accord knowing that he was engaged to you.
2007-01-06 10:53:48 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Bernstein 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why on earth would a guy due to get married in 4 months take someone else on a trip? Trust seems to be a major issue here. I would postpone the wedding for a year because you need time to learn if you can trust him and believe me, a marriage without trust is doomed to fail.
2007-01-06 10:50:38 · answer #4 · answered by huskie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did seriously misspell fiance. Maybe that was a huge Freudian slip. Financee is finances in French (I think). Perhaps he is your financial dream and not your real ideal mate. OK, enough psychology. Should you give him another chance? I doubt it. You definitely should cancel/postpone the wedding. I think you both have serious doubts and until you BOTH get past them your marriage is doomed to fail. You both have to be happy with your decision. If it's not right than move on.
2007-01-06 10:52:01 · answer #5 · answered by Wendi lu who 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I think that you should give him one... But that doesn't mean to still get married.. I think you should prolong the marriage and wait.. Then if he can make it work between y'all then try again but I don't think you should give him the promise to still marry on time. Tell him it is a possibility but not for deff. Also were you curious about him?? Was there any reason to be reading his mail?? Unless he asked you to?? If not then there is no since of trust and you should break it off until you can find someone you can trust.. (With your life!)
2007-01-06 10:51:21 · answer #6 · answered by minoritygurlgd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he says he's sorry than you should believe him, other than what the girl says there is no way to tell if anything sexual happened. But love is about second chances, you should give him that second chance since he still loves you. You should marry him.
2007-01-06 10:46:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You/re just his steady booty call until the next avaiable girl comes along. I'd tell him "the weddings off, here's your ring back, and you're on probation as boyfriend".
Good Luck
2007-01-06 10:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you trust him?....if you have doubts then perhaps postpone the wedding....remember he got caught....what if he hadn'' been found out?
2007-01-06 10:52:04 · answer #9 · answered by sayasyoulike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? Dump him!
2007-01-06 10:46:05 · answer #10 · answered by sally1068 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋