How can I prove to my parents that Im old enough to be on my own?

Question

Im 20 yrs old, still leaving with my parents and they treat me like a little girl. I have a curfew (midnight) and as far as I know, they dont want me to have a boyfriend. Im allowed to go out with friends about once a week. Even if I go out in the afternoon to watch a movie or hang out at Starbucks, I still have a curfew. It is frustratin bec I follow their rules and yet they still dont want to loosen up, even just a little bit. If I rebel, I know that they'll be stricter than ever. I tried talking to them about it and my mom blew her top off. To them opening up the topic of being less strict is a way of rebelling. HEEEELLLLLPPPP. :(

Answer 1

You can move out with or without their permission. You are a legal adult now. Move out then you can do as you choose, without being treated as a child.

Answer 2

If you want to prove that you are old enough to be on your own, then get a job, save your money,and pay all your own expenses ( clothes, food, entertainment,etc) and pay them something in "rent"every month. Do this for a few months at least.

When you have enough saved to rent an apartment and pay the first month of electric, phone, heat and food, go look for a place to live and move in!

Is there some reason that you have not done this yet? Have you been raised with the idea that your parents know what is best and you must always do as they say?
That can be very hard to get past ---no doubt your parents think that they are doing what is best for you.

If they are not the type of people you can talk to, you may just have to save your money until you are able to leave --and then just go. But be sure that you can make it on your own because it will be even harder if you have to go back to them --they will be even stricter.

Answer 3

You are a very intelligent girl. Rebelling would only create more friction between you and your parents. They are so strict because they know you are inexperienced in life and they only want what's best for you.

Thank them for their concern. If you are in college, tell them you want to live in-campus. (It's better than living off-campus), let them see that there are rules living in-campus. Also tell them how wonderful parents they have been to you, and that they did a terrific job for they brought up a loving daughter such as you, but that you need to learn to live independently.

I have suggested to other girls to start living near their homes, (if not in college) after holding a job for about 6 months, and of course, let their parents know where they will be in case there's an emergency.

When they agree with your moving out, call them frequently, twice a day would suffice, to ease their worries. Never go out with your friends without telling your parents where you plan to go (and with who - give them names and last names), because most of the time, when bad things happens to good girls, parents don't know where to start searching and every second counts.

This doesn't mean that something bad will happen to you if you become independant, but it is a good practice to always let your parents know where you will be.

Answer 4

Your parents sound pretty overbearing. I think it's time for you to move out on your own, or share an apartment with some of your good friends. I hope you have a job or other source of income because rent isn't free. You are an adult and to be treated as such you have to act like an adult. Show them that you can be on your own. I think this is the only way you can enjoy freedom. I'm sorry you have to go through that. Good luck to you.

Answer 5

At this point you are an adult. You are 20 years old and you can feel free to do whatever you want. Unfortunatly for you , you are still living at home which means you have to live by their rules as it is their home. Because you live at home they can tell you when to come home, and who to not bring over. You should though just try it one night and stay out really late and see what happens. Parents alot of times say they will call the cops if you arent home at a certain time, and thats when they have forgotten you are of legal age and the cops will just laugh at them.

Answer 6

Can I ask if your parents are from the old country? This sounds typical of kids who are the first here in America. If of course you are in America? Different cultures...

I feel you are old enough here in America. In a situation like this I feel there is no winning. If and only if you feel strong enough about this topic in your life I would say up and walk away.
If I am right about the parents being from the old country this may cause you to be out of the family, so be real careful with your decision.

Good luck!

Answer 7

Some parents never accept this, even once the child DOES move out on their own. There are adult children who are in their 4os and 50s who find their parents still trying to meddle in and manage their lives. All you can do is behave adult like and assert your self with respect for the fact that you obviously still live under their roof and accept living benefits from them (food, shelter, etc.) Eventually, they will probably gradually ease up. If not, it could be a lifelong battle.

Answer 8

If you're truly old enough, you don't have to "prove" anything. If you want to be on your own, get a job, save your money and find an apartment. That's within your power. You do sound too immature to do that. While you are living in your parents house, you have to abide by their rules.

Answer 9

it think u have every reason to be angry about this. my mom stopped asking me when i'll get back since i was 17. the only way is to get a job, get a roomate and move out of the house so they can see that u can handle life alone.they are overprotective, are u an only child?u need to take care of this cause u r missing out on yr best years

Answer 10

Get a job, if you don't already have one, and move out with a friend. You are an adult. Act like one & this will prove to them that they did a good job raising you and that you are able to stand on your own two feet. Once you move out, it will be none of their buss. what time you get in, who you go visit and/or who you date. You will be able to share those details with them as you so choose.

Answer 11

Well . . you can't.

I was an military officer, leading hundreds of men in the field, caring for their needs, and providing direction fo work, and motivation to get them going.

I was the General Manager for my ex-employer, and managed all the business for them, ensuring 300 of my staff have bread on their table every day.

But my parents still call me boy whenever they see me, and remind me of all the minor things. Like dive carefully, remember to dink water when you are outside. Sleep early, it is good for your health. Don't drink and drive. Don't hold your bludder. Don't drive too fast. Remember not to skip your meal. . . etc. . .

Do they annoying me? Yes they do. Mind you, I am a father of 2, and have many people reporting to me everyday!!! Do I need all these?

Can I ever tell them to stop? No I can't. I may be a man of men, a leader in the business world. But to them, I am still their son, and that is their way of loving me.

What else can I do? NEVER TO DO IT TO MY OWN CHILDREN!!! That is all I can do.

But now they stopped. . . For they have returned to heaven. How I wish to hear them nagging at me again. Each time I look at the photos, they don't seems so nagging. Those words that seems nagging to me in my youth sounds like music of love. But they are gone.

Love your parent. They may not know how to love you. But believe me, they do.