I have been out with this guy several times in the last couple of months. He says he is not seeing anyone else (neither am I), and yes, we have slept together (after waiting a month). Problem is - when I asked if we are dating exclusively and thus boyfriend/girlfriend, he didn't know what to say other than he didn't want to rush things...When I said if neither of us are seeing other people or wanting to, then why wouldn't you want to be bf/gf, he said he didn't have an answer. He also says he's not a player, that I have pretty much everything he is looking for, and that it is not just a friends w/benefits thing (because I told him that I don't want to have sex anymore with someone I am not exclusively dating, and he said that he was fine with that and still wants to see me but will be hard to not want to sleep with me).
I'm really confused, as this guy doesn't seem like he's just using me or is a player, yet I can't help wonder then why wouldn't he want to call me his g/f???
2007-01-06 01:59:16 · 15 answers · asked by webgirl55379 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't think you should just write him off. It does sound to me like this thing has some potential.
Just don't push him to make a move he isn't ready to make, and don't have sex with him again, until he is ready to make that commitment.
If you are alone with him, those moments of weakness are bound to occur. If you are going to have any physical contact with him, hugs for instance, make sure it's in public, to prevent sex from even being an option.
He obviously has some kind of issue he needs to deal with. Let him deal with it at his own pace, but be ready to listen, whenever he feels like talking about it.
2007-01-06 02:59:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are just gonna have to come to terms with it.He seems like he is keeping the relationship on a non bf/gf level so if asked if he has a gf he can say no.It is a commitment thing, he is not gonna commit to you.I think you just need to tell him how you feel and move on if need be.It sounds like he is not sure if you are the one and if he don't have an idea after a couple of months he is still looking for something beeter to come along.Sorry but that is my opinion. Good luck
2007-01-06 02:20:42 · answer #2 · answered by wblueyesinvt35 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He's not only using you but he's not being honest with you either. He knows that he's not looking for an exclusive relationship with you...sorry if that sounds a bit harsh. Why is it you're good enough to sleep with but not special enough for him to call you his girl? You should not be confused at this early stage in the relationship, really he should be tripping over himself to please you. Why not take it at your own pace next time, (I mean sleep with the guy when you feel ready. A month is not really long enough to know a person, as you are finding out.)
Hey, do you really want to start 2007 like this? There are more suitable fish in the sea for you, let them woo you!
Good luck and take care of yourself.
2007-01-06 05:05:16 · answer #3 · answered by Moglai 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just have hang ups! Leave it be, why is it so important that you label things.
If you can trust him, and your happy so far, let it be. Tell everyone that he is your boyfriend if that makes you happy, I assume that at this stage in the relationship your friends and family are inviting you both to places; and that the relationship is no longer, asking each other out, but assuming that you will be together during your free time.
2007-01-06 02:05:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is using you.
He doesnt want to commit and only wants the benefits of being with you.
I bet hands down if you stopped sleeping with him he would get resentful, say that he doesnt want to see you anymore, and then blame you for "putting too much pressure" on him.
It's obvious you want a real relationship and he doesnt see things that way. It is what it is. If you want a real relationship, then it doesnt sound like it will be with this guy. End it and move on to find someone who genuinely cares for you. This guy doesnt.
I cant believe people here are saying to relax and go with the flow. You are sleeping with him and he cant even call you his gf in public? Gimme a break. He doesnt call you his gf because he doesnt want to appear tied down. This guy is bad news. He got burned in a previous relationship so he doesnt want to committ? BOO-HOO for him. That still doesnt mean he can use you.
2007-01-06 02:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by sothere! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not that I understand guys but i'm guessing it's maybe like the guy i went out with, he was hurt by his last gf adn was worried about getting serious with anyone in case he'd get attached. i think for some dudes it's a big leap to say they are reallly dating
2007-01-06 02:04:14 · answer #6 · answered by shine_on 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit pushing! It has only been a couple of months. Give the guy time to make up his own mind. You may be all that he wants, just give him time to realize that.
2007-01-06 02:03:20 · answer #7 · answered by NAN G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't want to hurt you...but I feel obligated to advise you that he is just using you...There are plenty more honest guys out there and you will find your special boyfriend by not..putting out..(He will love you for you and will be proud to tell all and sundry that you are his girlfriend)...Say goodbye to him and get out there HE is waiting for you...Happiest of New Years to you.
2007-01-06 02:06:40 · answer #8 · answered by ozzy chik... 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
his a player his not going to call you his g/f because his already got your gold after you gave him that why would he call you his g/f his waiting on some thing his waiting on another female he tells you all this to keep you around but don't give him no more of your gold mine and see don't he drop you r start calling you his g/f but don't sleep with him that's all he want drop that loser and go get you a hero
2007-01-06 02:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by killabee 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He has obviously been badly hurt in the past and is taking things slower ..just give him time and dont pressurise him.
2007-01-06 02:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋