Am I like a total loser?

Question

My ex left me and a year and a half ago(we were married, she left because she wanted to be with her bf). I've had lunch with a couple of women who are friends but thats it. I know that I'm a little gun shy but need to get out there. But, really just havn't had anyone who seemed interested. Is this normal? Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Naw not a loser, just had the wind knocked out of ya. It takes time to recover from a broken marriage... reading this helped me


By T. D. Jakes
There are people who can walk away from you.
And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.
The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me. And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.
Let them go!!
If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never
intended for your life, then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .......
LET IT GO!!!
If someone can't treat you right, love you
back, and see your worth.....
LET IT GO!!!
If someone has angered you ........
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!
If you have a bad attitude.......
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......
LET IT GO!!!
If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......
LET IT GO!!!
If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship....................
LET IT GO!!!
If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves.....
LET IT GO!!!
If you're feeling depressed and stressed ..........
LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......
LET IT GO!!!
Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new
thing for 200 7 !!!
LET IT GO!!!
Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..
LET IT GO!!!
"The Battle is the Lord's!"

Answer 2

You are what you are, on the inside dude. So right now you are a loser and we've all been there before. But here comes the good news, nobody is a loser forever. The fact that you are asking this question means that you don't have a killer instinct. I'm not saying that you should be thinking about beating up your ex's boyfriend but come on dude. You should have some hate and alot of I don't care for her instead of he took my lolypop, I mean girl. You see what I mean. When you get a girl and are thinking about marrying her make sure you truly know her from the inside out. Many people divorce because they either don't really know their spouses or they pretend to not see the obvious flaws that will one day doom them both. Be a man and know what you are looking for and don't stand for someone who will even think about being with someone else dude.

Answer 3

Darling, you're not a loser. Sometimes it takes people awhile to bounce back into a 'dating routine' so to speak. Especially when the two people were married! My advice is to give it sometime. Sometimes the best things in life come to us when we least expect it. Maybe go out with some guy friends of yours to a bar or club if thats your thing. Get out and meet people, and let what happens, happen. It may just be to early for you (considering the circumstances). Don't feel stupid or like a loser just because you can't get a date. I suggest taking off your wedding ring, packing up all the old love letters, etc, and finding some closure for yourself. Really think it through, and let go. Once you can come to that, you'll feel much more confident and get out there! good luck!

Answer 4

You are not a loser. It takes time to warm up to the dating scene when you've been married for a while. You obviously have qualities that had someone marry you in the past. One thing I can say is dinner, lunch dates are horrible when you're new at this. Instead of asking them to dinner, see if they want to go to a game with you or a concert. Then you'll be entertained and can talk in between. And then if you go out to dinner after that you can talk about that game or concert.

I think jimi B is a looser

Answer 5

Everyone heals at a different rate and it is only normal to be reserved when getting involved with someone else after getting burned.

If you really want to get out there and meet new people, join an online dating service where you can meet single women in your area, meet in a public place and take it for what it is, an opportunity to meet a new woman, not that she will be "the one"; more times than not there may not be a connection, but if nothing esle, it is good practice and keeping your interpersonal skills up for when you meet someone you really click with.

Answer 6

You are NOT a loser. I'm sorry about your ex- she obviously wasn't the one. Nobody needs that kind of treatment. Keep trying. You'll find each other. I say try going to places of your own interest and finding someone there. Like as opposed to a bar, maybe try a museum, library - or maybe try taking some classes at a local college.....just a few ideas. Good Luck :)

Answer 7

You have to create change in your life that will keep you busy and happy without another person. Treat yourself extremely well and pursue interests you might have put aside when you were married. It's amazing - the minute you achieve that satisfaction you will meet someone, probably a few. Works every time.

Good luck! A year and a 1/2 is nothing.

Answer 8

First of all, it is really hard to get involved with someone again after your heart has been broken. Dont ever feel that the weaknesses that another person has are yours. I had a boyfriend once that lied to me. I thought I wasnt good enough to even be told the truth too. Then I was like..........wait a minute.......He is the liar not me.........It's hard to get to know others and feel the pain that we have felt before. But.......if you don't get out there and meet others, how are you ever going to love again??? Not all love turns out bad. You are normal. You just aren't ready maybe, and there is nothing wrong with that. In time you will be ready.

Answer 9

read some books on hooking up with women and thats my advice to myself - but hey I never do it guess what I get the same result every time I ask chicks out - or if I get them out I don't say stuff I should say or say the wrong thing. Knowledge is power, the women will think your being considerate and you are a genuinely nice stud. but you will know you are the clever one manipulating the situation to your will. Well life is an adventure - just take one step out the front door and stuff can happen that you never expected. good luck Bloke. ;)

Answer 10

First of alll...YOUR NOT A LOSER! Don't put yourself down like that. Its not good to do that. I am sure that you will find yourself a pretty young lady to put on your arm and to love and cherish yadda yadda yadda....but........here are some suggestions FOR N OW....not for a serious relationship but for fun and to build your confidencwe with the ladies

1. go to a club and have a few drinks and talk a MILLION girls...get a few phone numbers...

2. go out to a party with some friends....and get some phone numbers or at least talk to some girlies...

^^^the suggetions above are so you can build your confidence..need more help? just e-mail me

Answer 11

Yep, completely normal. SHE will show up when you least expect it!! You'll know when it happens, till then relax, don't be so hard on yourself. Figure out what went wrong last relationship, be honest, and take responsibility for your role!! Get that all sorted out first, you don't want to take all that baggage into the NEXT relationship!! Remember, we're suppose to learn from our mistakes, not keep repeating them!!!!!!!!!!!! Your NOT a loser, she is. Hey send the guy a thank you card, for taking a cheater off your hands. He may not know it now but like you his days are numbered!! Once a cheater................