What is the best 'comeback' you have ever heard?

Question

My favorite: 2 members of Parliement were arguing. Finally one said to his opponent: " You, sir, will die of a pox on the gallows!" The opponent replied:
"That depends, sir, on whether I first embrace your mistress or your principles."

I also like Sir Winston Churchills reply to Lady Astor: She said: Sir Winston, You are drunk. You are very drunk. In fact, you are extremely drunk" Sir Winston replied: "This is true, Lady Astor. But you are ugly. You are very ugly. In fact you are extremely ugly. I shall be sober tomorrow."

Answer 1

Well, I was a cute but hefty kinda kid. I had heard all the fat jokes but there is just so much one fat kid can take.

One day an exceptionally ugly guy was really giving me a hard time. I lost it and said, "Yeah, I know I'm fat, but you are ugly, I can diet and lose this weight but you are still gonna be ugly!"

I had every one laughing at him instead of me.

Answer 2

I was riding with some friends a long time ago and we passed a prostitute. One of the guys yelled "hey woman, what ya do for a quarter?" She yelled back "Cut your dam- throat." I thought that was a good come-back.

Answer 3

A hostess at the restaurant I worked at asked the night manager what he had on that smelled so good. He responded, "I've got a hard on, but I didn't know you could smell it."

Answer 4

its not really a comeback but more of an insult, your mommas teeth are so yellow she could butter a whole loaf of bread.

Answer 5

Your mama is so fat when she was drifting in the ocean spain declared her The New World!!!
LMAO!!!

Answer 6

On being overweight: "when you are perfect, you can criticize me!"