The girls really miss him and love him dearly. I feel sort of sad for them. I'm even feeling sorry for my ex as he claims he just truly does not have the money. I think that is about what he makes a year $100,000, or so he claims.
He also has a warrant out for domestic violence on my oldest, but she suddenly can see no harm, and feels perhaps I must have taken his family away. I tried to tell her we were in fear for our lives and he had already several domestic violence charges on him.
2007-01-06 00:38:39 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why should you be the only raising those girls financially. Just because he doesn't want to help you pay for those girls doesn't mean they stopped eating, needing new clothes, and using the electric and water. You should take him to court and the child support you and your daughters deserve and if he makes that much he should have no trouble paying. You should let him come to your house and see the girls but as far as him taking them i would have to say no. It seems he had anger issues. And if you don't want to see him you can always set up visitation through the court.
And you should always consider what is best for you and your girls. They can love their Dad with all their heart but it doesn't mean it is good for them.
2007-01-06 00:52:15 · answer #1 · answered by Darkchylde 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a little confused about the domestic violence charge? If your daughter was involved wouldn't it have been a child abuse charge? Domestic violence is usually spouse/spouse. At any rate if it was just the child support issues then no I would not stop the visitation, and it would in fact be aganist the law to do so. But if there is a warrrant issued for him based on violence then that is a different story.
L.
2007-01-06 05:42:47 · answer #2 · answered by tink3610 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The domestic abuse (I'm guessing he must have hit her, but no specifics are provided) is a bigger problem then the money. If he is hurting the children in any way, that should be a red flag. At the same time I don't think you should impede his ability to see the kids.
I tend to agree with what others have said, Agree only to short supervised visits by someone you can trust to stay with them during the visit. I also agree that preventing them from seeing their father sets you up to be the bad guy which they will resent you.
In terms of the money, you need to fight that battle in court. If you know where he is and who employs him, then you should make sure the court has that information. They should be able to garnish his wages to make up the back child support and start giving you current child support.
2007-01-06 01:12:02 · answer #3 · answered by milwaukiedave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you nuts??? No offense, but you shouldn't have to ask yourself if your ex's needs are more important than your children. If he just owed you money and kids want to see him, I would have said do it before the court makes you. The court doesn't care if he owes money, they see no relationship between supporting your child and being a good parent (What an oxymoron that is!). But any domestic violence issues....absolutely not. If HE wants to see the kids let him take you to court (he won't , he owes too much money and should be in jail). In court you can bring up the domestic abuse and request supervised visits only until he goes to parenting classes and gets some help from a counselor. (Don't count on him going to those either)....In the meantime PROTECT your children.
2007-01-06 00:45:12 · answer #4 · answered by LoneStarLou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he makes $100,000 a year-he HAS the money. If he is that much in arrearages, he should have a warrant for child support too.You didn't take his family away-he sounds like a angry deadbeat. I say, find a way, and get his butt arrested and thrown in the slammer, then you will see someone coming up with money. These men make me sick. They walk around giving the system the finger. No, it isn't about the money but they should have some responsibility.
2007-01-06 01:05:18 · answer #5 · answered by Pesty Wadoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello, I am a mum like you and I have had a similar problem, my ex owes a lot of money in child support for our 6 yo son. I will not let him anywhere near my son as he used to abuse my little boy.
My little boy has an eye problem because he had his head bashed on the floor too many times by his dad when he was a crawling baby! Anyway, if this ex of yours is capable of domestic violence, you should not let him anywhere near your 4 girls, he sounds like a bad man like my ex. So please look after those precious girls as you will never forgive yourself if he did anything to hurt them! He owes you so much and if he really cares about his girls, he would pay up. Just think about this please.
Take care, Linda
2007-01-06 01:04:42 · answer #6 · answered by saau2003 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Either way if he intended harm he find a way to do so. He will always be their father and they will always seek him out. Don't speak ill of him - they are part of him. They already know and it's eating them up. Time is on your side. It's going to be hard to keep the girls on your side and if you deny them seeing him they could do it on their own. Visitation should be in a well lit highly visible, highly populated spot. With a controlled exit. If you try to set up regular supervised visits this way with say a big burly relative or friend there as well as yourself - judging from his character, it will probably get old and he won't follow through on this either. Denying the visitation will only challenge his control obsessiveness. They'll eventually get him on the warrant anyway.
2007-01-06 01:48:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first response was please DO NOT punish your daughters for the 'sins' of their father. Just because HE is shirking his financial responsibility to his children, it makes no sense to punish the children for what HE is doing.
However, if this man is violent your first priority is protecting them. Perhaps your daughters could visit their father at a grandparents home? I would definately speak with a counselor/social worker/family court commissioner advising them that your daughters want to see their father--but because of his violent history--you'd prefer those visits be supervised.
The court may appoint a guardian at litem for your daughters--basically a neutral party to help sort things out. Hopefully they would suggest an anger management and counseling for your EX.
If your daughters know you're willing to let them have a relationship with their father--yet are placing protective measures in place for them, you won't be such a 'bad guy'. Just let them know that you know they love their dad--and reassure them that he loves them as well--but you're only thinking of their safety. Depending on their ages--they may or may not understand now--but will when they are old enough.
2007-01-06 01:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Cherie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't -if he really cared for his children then he would help financially to raise them and let them know that he is there for them-especially if he makes 100,000 a year I am sure he can afford to pay something. I especially wouldn't let him see my children because of the Domestic Violence issue-I see why he is your ex-you were wise to divorce him.
2007-01-06 00:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say you almost have to,or your girls might resent you for not letting them. I also can see your side too.I got my girls in a divorce,my ex was supposed to pay chid support,which she hardly ever did. I let them see and visit her regularly,now i`m glad i did,even though she never paid me much. It was hard financially sometimes,but we got by.You`ll have to weigh the domestic violence thing,and then decide. I hope it helps you.
2007-01-06 00:45:36 · answer #10 · answered by rodney p 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋