Also, if you consistently do the same thing that angers, upsets or concerns her, should her reaction/ response change? I mean, how are women to come across as loving and helpful instead of bitchy, controlling, hateful? I don't want to harp on things or bring up the past while responding or reacting to my boyfriend. But he consistently does the same thing over and over again. He expects that his apology is good enough. But to me they are empty words. I just feel that there should be respect in a relationship. And so when he continually repeats the same thing over and over again, I feel like I have no say. And I feel as if he doesn't care about my feelings. I have told him this to no avail. It really is like beating a dead horse. We have a decent relationship except for his addiction (porn). My request is that he not look at it in my home. I don't feel that I have to bend or compromise just to make him happy. If he lived here, I might reconsider to a certain extent. But he does not.
2007-01-06 00:11:23 · 8 answers · asked by whoanelly 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Furthermore, what angers me the most is that he stays here all the time but doesn't offer to help out. While I am cleaning, cooking, working a lot of over time, he is busy looking at porn. So, really I guess the problem is laziness. He also lies and hides it because he says that he is ashamed. I feel like if he helped me out around the house then I could probably allow a peak. But it sure hasn't helped our sex life any! t is very unsatisfying.
2007-01-06 00:15:07 · update #1
Apologies are only ok when they are meant it sounds as if yours is going to be an ongoing problem isn`t there a better life for you with someone who would appreciate you more? rather than drag on in this way.
2007-01-06 00:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by edison 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does this because he can. There are no consequences to his behavior. If he is addicted to porn, it is no difference than any other addiction and that is how you should treat it. If he is addicted you take second place while his addiction takes first place. He is disrespecting you and will continue to do so as long as you allow it. I would suggest attending ALANON meetings. These are support groups for family members of alcoholics. Even though alcohol is not the issue here the principles of how to respond to the addicted person (regardless of the addiction) are the same. Porn can be a powerful addiction for men. It is interfering with your relationship and will continue to do so. Your preaching, teaching and nagging will only make it worse. ALANON will help you with more effective strategies. You cannot change him you can only change yourself. Take action, not anger. Lock him out of your computer so he cannot view porn on it. See how he responds to this. This will tell you how great his addiction is. If he gets angry and leaves you have a big problem but you will know where you stand. I wish you well.
2007-01-06 08:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start looking at it too.
If it stops ok. If you don't ok.
Take the game to another plane.
Maybe you should ask why.
If you're not only venting, then open a dialog.
Don't use a castigating tone. Just wait for the appropriate
time and ask, or join.
"What goes through your (tiny pee sized - lol ) mind when
you look at those?"
"Do you want me to act like that?".....
"You know I don't like it that way"
Fill his fantasy and the world is your oyster.
Or if nothing changes, then find someone who cares for
your compatibilities.
2007-01-06 08:30:05 · answer #3 · answered by Wonka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why waste your time on someone that keeps on doing the same thing over and over again, even though he knows it hurts you. If he really cares about you he will honor your wishes and stop looking at the porn so damn much.
2007-01-06 08:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by big taco 78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I offend my g/f, then yeah I would expect her to get mad its normal but if I did it by mistake like spill a drink or said something with out thinking, then I would expect my g/f to sit down and explain her point of view so I can understand her. I think with a bit of compassion and understanding you can fix most problems.
2007-01-06 08:19:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
make a treae like break up don calling him or tak his cal for 1 month then c. it is a test that he know u mean it and can test his love for u . if my idea is not good then leave it.
2007-01-06 08:15:37 · answer #6 · answered by aeeyo1314 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to "b*tch". Its your home he should respect you wishes and help you out when you ask him. Dump him cause this guy has no respect or love for you.
2007-01-06 08:27:50 · answer #7 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEXT. kick him to the curb and move on. Hard to hear - harder to do but if he doesn't care about you and your feelings NOW then he's not going to anytime soon.
2007-01-06 08:16:16 · answer #8 · answered by T C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋