2007-01-05 23:25:17 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is very difficult but take inventory of what you may be doing to contribute to the problem. Do you give them everything they want? Do you continually change your schedule to accommodate your teens schedule? If you are than stop doing this. They need to understand that that you have a life also. The best thing you can do is be in control of yourself. Your teen needs to know how their actions and what they want affect those around them. When they make a selfish demand empathize with them, than explain why you can't help them and than move on with your life. For example, it is Friday night and you want to stay home and go to bed early. At 7:30 your teen wants you to take them to the mall so they can be with their friends and wants you to pick him up at 10:00 PM. Empathize how fun that would be for him/her so he feels validated. But explain that you already have plans for the evening and if he/she wants to do things like this he/she has to give you more notice. He/she will get his feathers ruffled but stay in control of yourself. It is harder for him to get upset when you empathize with him. Staying in control of yourself gives you more control over the situation. And this teaches him/her that his mother needs are as important as his. If you can do this consistently he/she will begin to catch on. Don't let him/her draw you into arguments and wear you down. Disengage from arguing and move on.
2007-01-05 23:51:46 · answer #1 · answered by mjohnson1422 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world to them does revolve around them. Teens have issues that they believe are the worst that could happen. One day the news that two people are breaking up is the biggest thing out there, then the next its, "Oh my god i have a zit." Teens in a whole feel important when they be live the world revolves around them. You need to sit down with them and tell them flat out the world wont end if they don't get tier way, and in a couple of years they are off to collage. So they need to be prepared sit them down and watch the news often this is an eye opener. Good luck.
2007-01-06 07:37:59 · answer #2 · answered by Chelle 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to the real world, where teen's are of the belief that anyone over 30 is senile and doesn't know anything. A majority of teens' believe thier parents are nothing more than a support mechanism to be used for all they can get out of them.
This doesn't mean you failed in raising the child properly, basically teens believe their parents exist for 2 reasons, to supply them with their personal needs and to disrepect them especially when parents try to enforce some form of order in the family situation.
Teens are basically Selfish individuals who cannot and willnot change their perspective on life. It's all ME, ME, ME. They are basically self-centered and nothing matters to them but achieving their desires with the smallest degree of effort.
My advice to you is, cut the teen off financially, don't give them anything other than food, shelter, clothing. Make the teen go out and get a job. Make the teen take some responsibility now or they will forever be dependent upon you.
Don't tolerate disrespectful behavior from the teen in any capacity whatsoever. Be firm and direct. Simply tell them bad behavior will get them no where fast.
2007-01-06 07:43:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop giving in to them! Don't automatically give them money for shopping, movies,etc --and don't always take them where they want to go.
Also, get involved in some volunteer work and have them get involved with you. Once they see that it feels good to help someone, their attitude may change.
Some adults still think the world revolves around them -- better to learn now that it does not!
2007-01-06 11:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by Marilyn E 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother I know that this goes on for some time. Sorry to burst your bubble. What I did with my son is instead of taking him to the mall to shop for all the designer stuff is took him to the Salvation Army store. Told him all I had to do was feed and clothe him, not make sure it had a name on it.....didn't buy his favorite food as all I have to do is feed him. I took the cell phone away as we have a home phone also. AND, I took his car keys....the bus stops in front of the house. They need to know that all those things are luxuries not necessities. You know what, he got a little nicer. He is grown and gone now but still remembers.....
Good luck and don't pull your hair out.
Remember, we were that age and thought we knew it all and we knew NOTHING. :)
2007-01-06 07:35:40 · answer #5 · answered by renee m 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am 18 years old.. my mother used to say something and i would get defended and she would bark "the world doesnt' evolve around you' but honestly why a teenager does that is they suspect someone to say something cruel... during these times, as teenagers... we are very defensive and easy to get angery.. mostly b/c we over-analyze things to be something bad towards us...
my true advice would be to give them a LITTLE freedom... and assure them.. that you did NOT mean anything toward them when you say some things... and to UNDERSTAND that there is alot of bull happening in there life just as well as yours...
i not only say that from a teenagers point of view.. but also in yours... seeing that i now am taking care of a couple teenage cousins...
2007-01-06 07:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would have though by 16 the person would have realised that. Maybe they're too spoilt. Try telling the person about hardship or anything else other than their tv or computers.
Sending them to Africa wouldn't be bad.
2007-01-06 07:29:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its called kids are to spoiled these days. they have all the luxuries in life that we didn't. they don't understand how good they got it. so if they don't have this gadget or these name brand clothes they consider themselves poor. so what i did with my daughter, is that, i took her to the local homeless shelter and had her donate her clothes that don't fit and had her talk to the woman and children there. it made her look at things a little different. now she says well i have some things in my room i would like to donate. there are times when i have to remind her that there are people worse off then her. i hope this helps.
2007-01-06 08:48:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them to go out in the real world with that type of attitude. People will set them straight.
2007-01-06 07:47:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you train him to believe this or better yet, did you train him to treat you and others in a way that allows him to see his world in a self centered way? Tough question! The answer is not getting him to see that he isn't the world's center, it's getting you to modify your parenting style. This requires too much space to explain; however, a bit of reading (Parent Effectiveness Training; Logical and Natural Consequences, etc.). Good luck
2007-01-06 07:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by Wisdom??? 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋