My husbands sister lives in maine but will be moving down here closer to family after she graduates from college. She has 6 month left to go. THe thing is..shes 2 months preg, goes to school full time and works 3 part time jobs while her lazy husbadn to be has a part time job only. I think she realizes that he is a loser now but I need to know what the best way to help her is? I dont want her to feel like I am stepping in and taking over. She turned 20 recently, shes always been ahead of her class and super smart but with this guy she made a bad choice. She really still is a child even though shes about to graduate and have a baby. How can I help her out? What advice should I give her?
2007-01-05 22:55:03 · 12 answers · asked by I hate stupid ppl like you 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
give her all the support she needs...
encourage her to finish her studies so that she can land on a very good job with very good salary.
after, that i know that she will realize that the crap she married is a good for nothing,
2007-01-06 00:12:17 · answer #1 · answered by Shirley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's the same old story---only the actors names change---she got into this and it's up to her to work it out. She won't be able to work for a while after the baby is born---he should be responsibe--- but if he isn't--- there isn't much more that can be done. He probably knows that the family will pay for lots of stuff---he's getting away with a lot here--and you people have to not be so free with the money---unless he isn't moving also---sounds like a scam job to me. You don't have enough time in your life to worry about her---she needs to take responsibility--she laid down with this guy--let her figure it out. It was her choice....she is supposed to be an educated person---let her work on it---why is it your concern???Nothing else to do??? You going to babysit too??? Where does your life fit into all this. just say welcome home--nice baby---gotta go
2007-01-06 07:10:34 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, offer to help out when the baby arrives. That will ease her mind a little. Then have a heart to heart talk with her and ask her if she really wants to go through with this marriage. Tell her you want the best for her (which is apparant to me 'cause you posted this question) and that you can see this marriage going sour a few years/months down the road. Also, point out that the baby shouldn't be brought up around a father like him. Please do this kindly and respectfully 'cause if you don't, then she could get really defensive. Good luck!
2007-01-06 07:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by S. Elizabeth 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of her business unless she asks. He may be a loser to you but her lover, husband, friend, and father of her baby to her.
The only person who can say he is really a loser is the wife !
Last, he may make a good "stay at home Dad" after she has the baby so that she can look for full time work in her field.
Anyway.............stay out of it ! You have a husband and if anyone thought he was a loser today and told you, you would become very angry and defend his honor and yours........smile
Best of luck.
2007-01-06 07:01:06 · answer #4 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean by 'helping'? Financially,physically, or emotionally. If physically, certainly you have to live near her. Maybe the other 2 will work for now. At least, better than nothing!
2007-01-06 07:02:44 · answer #5 · answered by bogey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get rid of the boy friend as well as the child in her womb. Then she will automatically become mentally and socially matured. For maturity some loss has to be sustained.
2007-01-06 07:01:19 · answer #6 · answered by KB M 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do you hate her or want to help her?? Or is this another sister in law?? And an alcoholic racist father in-law to boot!! YEE HAW!!Sounds like one big dysfunctional family to me!!
Maybe you should contact the Jerry Springer show!
2007-01-06 07:07:41 · answer #7 · answered by pamomof4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Treat her like a friend. A concerned friend. Everyone makes mistakes.
2007-01-06 06:57:52 · answer #8 · answered by steelypen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just to be there if she needs help with the baby would be help enough. I'm sure she would appreciate it!!!
2007-01-06 06:58:31 · answer #9 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her support......a shoulder to lean on when needed, and an ear to listen when she needs to vent.
2007-01-06 06:59:48 · answer #10 · answered by zaarchef 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋