I have just returned from a week spent at my boyfriend's place. He has just moved into a new flat, which is tiny. We spent the New Year at his parents place and we celebrated with his friends. We have been in a long-distance relationship for a couple of years, together for 3 years. I told him that I would like to go to his city to learn his language for a couple of months and possibly live with him. I did not realise that his flat was so tiny though. He got scared of the idea though and told me that he is not ready to live together. He pulled away and now I am not sure what to do?
2007-01-05 22:49:32 · 15 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Give him a couple of days and then ask him why. Dont force the situation. Let it flow naturally.
2007-01-05 22:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by Miss B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing you don't mention is your age. But 3 years is plenty of time to invest in a relationship, if he doesn't want to take it a step further with the relationship, then you should be walking the other way. Find yourself someone that will. Good Luck.
2007-01-06 06:55:11 · answer #2 · answered by winona e 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he got scared just because he thinks you two wouldn't live well in a tiny apartment, that's pretty superficial a reason. if he really loves you, the place wouldn't matter. as long as you're together and love each other, i think you could tolerate(or endure?) all other problems.
2007-01-06 07:08:08 · answer #3 · answered by no-namer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so the fact that he got scared of the idea of living together has nothing to do with you thinking that his flat was so tiny? erm, why don't you go and ask him and clear everything. why he refused and stuff... don't give up. know the facts first
2007-01-06 06:52:19 · answer #4 · answered by smallorganic 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just shake golden hand & ask him to be in touch as a normal friend . Now start find another person who can hold your hand in front of his close relations , before you give your heart to him or want to move with him .
2007-01-06 06:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk straight to him, and don't go around the subject round and round. tell him that you've changed your mind and the other things that you are feeling.
let me remind you that guys tend to feel caged when someone make such a move on them, after 3 years of "open" relationship.
best advice if you love him, understand him, get close to him bit by bit and let him realize how much he need you and how much he miss you.
best wishes and luck
2007-01-06 06:54:09 · answer #6 · answered by adam y 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him about it and see if the two of you can find a way to sort it out. if you were seriously thinking of moving to where he lives for a reasonable amount of time either you could rent of buy your own place nearby to him. good luck!
2007-01-06 06:54:40 · answer #7 · answered by Elle :) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well deary,if the guy says he's not ready,then he isnt..long distance relationships are pretty hard to keep..so if you really love the guy,then do your best to make it work..an honest guy is always better than a lier..it's a good thing that he told you he wasnt ready,if he agreed,you could be abused and stuff...guys will be guys..good luck sweety..^^
2007-01-06 06:59:08 · answer #8 · answered by rika 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must trust on u and leave u what u do, and understand u...
about his tiny room, in the begging u can live with tiny room then u can build with him big room so what it's not a big problem it's better than nothing.
2007-01-06 07:18:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps the traditions in his family do not allowa live in. Perhaps he is not very rich to afford a big flat.
It appears you may not be very happy with him. Threfore, better to call it quits.
2007-01-06 06:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by KB M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋