To make a very complicated situation easier to understand, I'm going to give the Cole's notes version.
I've known 1 for almost 4 years and we both fell hard for each other and spent the next 3 years being friends. We finally started dating and had some problems within the relationship mostly due to not being open about our feelings.
We broke up and since I have been dating a really great guy. I severed all ties with 1 and did my best to move on and concentrate on building a relationship with 2.
I've realized recently that I am still in love with 1. and he never gave up...although he gave me the space I needed, he made sure I knew that he was in love with me and that I was the one.
Both say I am the one and that they want to marry me and build a life with me. I love both of them, I feel like a different person with each of them. I am so torn up about what to do, wracked with so much guilt. Is walking away from both of them the only way out of this situation?
2007-01-05 21:32:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all for answering the question (mostly) thoughtfully. There were a lot of really good insights and suggestions.
Good luck to all of you in finding what makes you complete.
2007-01-06 04:34:25 · update #1
I'll give you a piece of advice that was given to me while I was going through a similar situation: stay with the one that gives you the most PEACE! Yes, peace. Think about that... the rest of your life is a long time to spend with someone who'll only give you ups-and-downs.
Take care and good luck choosing. You lucky girl! LOL
2007-01-05 21:38:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Do not walk away from both because it seems you have two really great men who love you and want to be with you and you just dont see that much in this world anymore. I know this has to be a terrible choice you have to make but you need to really sit down and think, Who makes you more happier? also make a list and see which guy has more of the better qualities in a person for you, you know who out ways more of the bad then the good type deal. I am so sorry that you have to make this decision, I feel really bad for you because I know what its like. I have been through it before but just follow your heart and on who it leads you too more, Thats what I did and I made the best decision I couldive made. I hope this helps :)
2007-01-05 21:39:36 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them both what is going on and that you need some time to think things out--you did a good job of explaining the situation just now so both guys should understand how you feel.
You really need to get away from both guys so you can step back and get a clear picture of your feelings.
One thing-focus on why things didn't work out with guy #1
Good luck.
2007-01-05 21:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by MamaCat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write down what your life would be like in 10 years if you chose each of them. Articulate your feelings and regrets... would you wonder "what if?" forever if you chose one over the other? Is one better marriage material?
Don't be so quick to give up on everything just to extricate yourself from this situation. Don't throw away the one that you may spend the rest of your happy life with just because you're confused.
2007-01-05 21:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes It would be best for you to sever the ties and start the new year ready to move forward. It is difficult to let go but once you take that first step youll be ok. Lean on others to help you through
2007-01-05 21:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by venusv54 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta deal with your emotions of Love lust and Attraction. Try visualizing being with just one of them and where your future is in that, ignore the guilt factors because you need to make the right choice for yourself and not worry about pleasing everyone
2007-01-05 21:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by thesting156 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me give you the short version...you subconsciously like the attention of two men. Young love is tough--for anyone---one lesson is closing a door before opening another. You better face reality---pick a man and get on with your life. Men do the same thing---and they are just as wrong. I don't care how you do it--flip a coin, hold a contest--whatever---but get one man and drop the drama.
2007-01-05 21:41:53 · answer #7 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ive been in a very similar situation recently, you just have to take time think things through and trust in yourself that you will make the right decision. i went away for a weekend by myself and i found that this helped me really think it all through and decide what was going to happen next
2007-01-05 21:38:51 · answer #8 · answered by AliasPlease 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah walk away from both cuz odds are if you make a choice....you'll lose one and the one you choose will dump you.
take time out to reflect on what you really want. maybe one of them will help make the choice later by showing his continued interest despite you walking away.
one of them really loves you. im gonna guess its the one ur currently with.
2007-01-05 21:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I could walk to you but I rather run I haven't seen your smile for a while now I can close my eyes and imagine your arms open wide but for now you have to live inside lol
2007-01-05 21:48:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋