My boyfriend has been giving me mixed signals lately. First he posts a blog on myspace describing how much he is in love with his ex wife still. As soon as I see it, I pack my bags. But when he got home and saw that I was packing and leaving, he told me he loved me and didn't want me to go. I am so tired of feeling like I come second. I'm so tired of feeling like every time he says he loves me, he's thinking of her. I can't even stand to hear her name come out of his mouth. It immediately depresses me. Seeing her face, hearing her name......it makes me so depressed. So depressed, that I can't even bring myself to cry. Why can't I ever find a man that will love me and only me? Why can't I find a man that will actually notice how big my heart is? I don't know what to do......My mind just feels dead. I feel like a zombie right now. Like I'm just slowly prolonging my depression. I've already spoken to him about it. I'm just not sure what to say anymore....
2007-01-05 18:34:59 · 19 answers · asked by Abby C 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He keeps telling me that he loves me and that I'm the perfect one for him, but he can't seem to let go of his ex, and it drives him crazy.
It drives me crazy too.
2007-01-05 18:42:15 · update #1
Abby, I can't even imagine the pain you must feel. I would definately tell him that If you still need her, then be on your way. To have someone like you on their arm would be a blessing, and he should be beyond happy that he has someone who loves him as deeply as you do. You should take him to the side, and let him know that you will not put up with this, and that if you can't be his everything..........be nothing at all for him.
2007-01-05 18:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Biff Stew 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him, obviously he still has feelings for his ex and no matter what he tells you of how much he loves you, you will always be competing with his Ex for his effection and it just not worth its. Its hard but don't let him use U because you love him, women fall into that trap all the time.
From what you are saying you have had a string bad luck with relationships, my suggestion let this guy go and take break from relationships for short time (eg 6 months), Focus on yourself, pamper yourselve - massages, spa, manicures,pedicures, change hair style whatever, buy a new wardrope. Do anything and everything that makes U happy. Then go back into dating scene.
2007-01-06 02:51:34 · answer #2 · answered by Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm really sorry to hear that. if u haven't already, i suggest u sit down with him and SERIOUSLY talk about ur feelings and his feelings about the relationship. however, u stated that u have already spoken to him about that. if so, u should sit down in a calm quiet area by urself and think it over. does he still make u feel like the wonderful woman that u are? does it seem like his heart is into the relationship? is ur heart in the relationship? is the relationship worth saving or will it continue to drag u down, depress u, and waste more of ur time? i hope this helps. if the relationship is saved, good luck to u and ur boyfriend. if the feelings are gone, then end the relationship. and after that, KEEP UR HEAD UP. it is natural to feel the symptoms of a broken heart, but just keep in mind that staying in a useless relationship can actually be a burden and also waste the time of both members. remember the memories, but move on. good luck with everything.
2007-01-06 02:49:10 · answer #3 · answered by john 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to say anything anymore......... You deserve someone who truly loves you and will devote his time to you only. Obviously, he still has feelings for his ex-wife and unresolved issues. Try not to be too harsh on him. He has his own baggage to deal with and it's just not a good time in his life right now to be involved in another serious relationship. He doesn't seem ready. Give him his space and let him work it all out for himself. You can continue to be a friend with loving support, but move forward and live your life. If it was meant to be, then it will happen for the both of you. Don't waste your time being depressed over something that you can't control. They're his issues. Let him have his time and you go on with yours.
2007-01-06 02:47:17 · answer #4 · answered by artutina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful person and there are men out there, though you can't see it right now. If I found something like that on my husbands blog I'd pack my bags tonight. I know you think "no one has ever felt this way before" but they have and that is why I say I'd leave....'cause it don't get better. I wasted 10 years of my life believing it would, trying to make it better.
If he feels this way...you deserve better and you WILL find it. Keep your head up and don't let him drag you down any lower. And don't do what I did and waste your life. Life is too short to settle.
2007-01-06 02:41:53 · answer #5 · answered by Jan J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you but I think your bf is still in love with his ex-wife. When a man just came from a divorce or break-up, they look for another woman as a substitute because they're not used to be alone. They're used to have that special someone with them. If they have already overcome their loneliness, they will go back to the person who they truly love. Our feelings like loneliness, pain, happiness and etc. are all temporary. And I think, that's what your bf is going through..
As what others says, if a relationship wont make you happy and cant find yourself anymore then, you have to give-up your relationship. Or maybe, you have to give yourselves space to think and weigh things. In that way, he'll know who he really needs, his ex-wife or you.
Don't make him your priority if you're just an option for him..think!!
2007-01-06 03:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by Shorty... 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kick him to the curve.....he might love you and her at the same time...but why be second plate in the table...he doesnt have respect for you...he just letting the whole damn world that he still loves his ex....FU*K HIM AND HER LET THEM GO TO HELL TOGETHER...move on with your life you dont need to be depressed over a dog like him...his ex is probably happy to know that he still loves her and you like an idiot depressed you dont need that sh*t get yourself another man....trust me youll find somebody that would appreciate you....LEAVE HIM AND MOVE ON...GO OUT AND MEET NEW PEOPLEEEEE GUYSSSSS THERES MORE FISHES IN THE SEA...AND GOOD ONES!!!
2007-01-06 02:42:41 · answer #7 · answered by mabel20179 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, if you are Unhappy then leave. Don't be depressed there are alot of people that have broken relationships and then find another one that is way better than their previous. You should do that. Don't spend time with someone who will not move on.
Many wishes from me to you. Smile you will find a way. :)
2007-01-06 02:40:47 · answer #8 · answered by Leslie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldnt..if he is writing about being in love with her then he is still in love with her, he wouldnt make somethin like that up would he? im sorry to say but you need to get out now and free yourself so you can find that man that will love you and you only!
2007-01-06 02:38:40 · answer #9 · answered by Onie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should get out of that relationship, yes you may love him and want to be with him. But who is to say that he isn't with you just for a rebound of his ex wife. I do understand tho that once you love someone, you cant "unlove" them, yes you may be able to have a different sort of love..but i think he is just with you to make him happy, and not worry about your feelings. Depression is a bad hole to get stuck in, and i think you are getting sucked in and need to get out a.s.a.p...it will only be better for YOU!
2007-01-06 02:41:24 · answer #10 · answered by loco_duznt_coveru 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋