Is it possible to have been raped or molested as a child and not remember a thing about it as a young adult?

Question

I've had a pretty "average" childhood; Mom and Dad who were always there, loving and caring for us. We've had our problems like any other family, but nothing too serious. Strangely, though, I can only remember things from about the age of 11 or so. Anything before that doesn't exist in my mind. When I drink, my friends say I've said pretty strange stuff which has led them to ask me if I'd been raped or molested as a child. Honestly . . . I don't know. I mean, I don't think so, but how could I NOT know, right?! It's me, it's my body. Am I missing something? If something did happen, how would I ever know?
p.s. I'm 22, married, and I have a beautiful little boy. (hopefully that's helpful) :)

Answer 1

Most people remember things from before age 11. Most people can retain some memories by the time they're 5 or 6. That's an unusually long period of time that you don't remember.

People who have an unusual amount of time blanked out usually do have something traumatic from that time that their brain is trying to protect them from. It could be anything from a house fire to seeing someone get hit by a car. But if your friends hear you say things that make them think you've been abused that's something that gives you a clue.

You're pretty young. I imagine you haven't been out of your parents' house for long, even if you left at 18. If anything did happen at home it would make sense for your brain to protect you from it at least until you leave the house. I know many women who get to college and then suddenly have some memories come back to them. It's because the brain realizes that they're safe now. They're out of the house. So now the brain is saying that it's now time to deal with what happened.

Now, I'm not saying that you Have to have had something happen to you. But it sounds like it's a possibility. It's up to you if you want to explore this further though. Not remembering IS a safety mechanism. It's up to you if you want to see what's behind it. If you do want to, I suggest you ask your friends what you say when you're drunk and write it down. I also suggest looking over childhood photos from before you were 11. See if anything rings a bell. Also at the next family gathering you could always start up reminiscing and ask for some stories about your childhood that you can tell your little boy one day. Any of this stuff might give you a clue whether or not you have something to worry about.

Don't force it though, okay? If you do those things and nothing comes up that's okay. If one annoyingly small piece of memory comes back, that's okay too. Anything that's been locked up for a long time can take a long time to come back.

Professional help is good for this, too. A therapist would be a good place to start.

Congrats on your marriage and your little one! :)

Answer 2

yes it is a real possiablitiy that you could of been raped or molested as a child and nt remember. As a child you might not of been able to deal with it , and it could of happen more then one time, and so the memory has be surpressed, and that can be the cause of the lost of your memory up to the age 11 years old. You could even have a personality disorder, and so when you go out and get drunk with your friends, that might just come out. I am not going to say that your parents did it, cause maybe they were not the ones who did. It could be possiable. It could of been a stranger, or even a baby sitter, or a relative, you just never really know about this kind of thing. Yes it is your body and when things like that happen, your body and mind sometimes helps you deal with it by surpressing it or , even creating other personalities. Now i am not saying that you have other personalities, cause you may not, you could just of dissoicalated from it. Some time in the future it may come to you and who it was who might of did that to you. You could go to a professional , like a therapist and see if they can help you figure it out. That might be a good thing, but you must be prepared to hear things and remember things that you may not like . So before doing that make sure you really want to know. Cause right now it just seems to be a lose of memory and something you have not really worried about. Once you get into a therapy, they just might open a door that you are not ready for yet. So really think about your opinions. I am happy you have a son, and are married, it has not effect that part of your life . Remember though that there are people out there, that will harm childern and adult, so keep your son close to you, and your wife, just remember he is a gift from god, and you can not tell when God will call him back to him. I hope this has been somewhat helpful. Take care and god bless you and your family now and forever.

Answer 3

I can understand why you are feeling confused as these feelings must be quite overwhelming at times. Although it is possible to 'block out' memories of abuse, certain behaviours can not tell you definitively that abuse has occurred. Some people who are abused at very young ages have physical or body memories, and over time, actual memories may resurface. It could also be that you have not felt safe around the people you have been in relationships with, perhaps there is a trust/intimacy issue that you could address with a counsellor? Its best to work with what you do know first (ie trust/relationship issues), and if other things come up during your sessions (like memories) then they can be addressed in time. Worrying about what might have happened would be quite anxiety provoking, so it might be best to seek some support in dealing with your presenting issues first.

Answer 4

IF which is an IF you were raped or molested then you might have blocked it from your memory. If you can afford it then maybe tall to a therapist about it. But it is a possible that you moved it out of your mind

Answer 5

Hi.. First be careful with what type of friends you hang around with.. I remember every event from the age of 4 so if anything of that sort(rape/molestation) ever happened you will remember.But why worry about things which never happened according to your memory..Enjoy the God given life.

Answer 6

Yes it's possible. I was sitting in my room reading one night and all of a sudden I remembered everything that happened to my brother and I when we were little. Every single detail came back to me. I couldn't believe that I could forget that. I asked my brother to be sure and he confirmed. I started crying. I've always had extreme anxiety with people touching me or going any where alone even before I remembered.

Answer 7

I truly hope that you were not a victim of abuse. But, in my own experience the fact that you self medicate may be a clue that something is wrong. No judgement, just my own experience. Please seek help. You are not alone. (my memories started to surface during the birth of my first child.)

Answer 8

u know what, i think that you need proffesional help... HONESTLY...

The feeling of NOT KNOWING your past may make you feel with a hole in your life... Go talk to a Psichologyst or a Psychiatryc... It's not that you are crazy... but they are the people who can really help you...


If i were you, i would go.

Please, take care....

Answer 9

its possible, people deal with hard times in their life differently, you might have just mentally blocked that whole period in your life out because you chose not to remember it , it might actually be a good thing because who wants to remember something like that? or you might just have bad memory...have you tried talking to a proffessional,they might be able to help... or hypnotism?

Answer 10

yes its called a mental block a lot of kids have it