Relationship problems HELP!!!?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. Things aren't how they use to be. He use to come over everyday when we first got together, now it's maybe three times a week. I'm in college and I work and he also works. We hardly talk on the phone when we do it's short. I don't talk on the phone anyways. I want to be with him but then on the other hand I don't know why I am staying in this relationship. We have a good time when we are around each other most of the time. He is always having girls call his phone and he probably calls them when I'm not around, of course. One of the girls that calls him is cool but I hate her for calling him. I trust him I just don't trust girls around him. I wanna say things to him that I keep inside me. I don't know how to express my feelings to him because I don't know what he is going to think or say. I wish I could not care about what people think, and just speak my mind. I don't know what to do. I need advice!!Thank u!

Answer 1

You know, a lot of people will probably reply to this with some sort of "positive" advice.. but I think there's a snippet of advice that you need which you'll probably really just look over. Yet despite that, here goes:

You are ruining you own relationship and aren't aware of it. First of all, after two years, people start to get used to each other being around. It happens for some of us quicker than others. He might just be comfortable, and confident that you'll be around. Secondly, you're being paranoid, and reading into things far too much. Not every text message, or phone call is a girl trying to have sex with him.
Sometimes things just get old. "I don't know why I'm staying in this relationship", no offense but do you realize how selfish this sounds? You're too inwardly focused.. you see a small change in the way your relationship functions and you're immediately convinced that you are not having a normal relationship, and that its not sustainable. Three times a week? come on! You both work and you're in college. Perhaps schedules are conflicting, and not just with work hours, people need time to themselves, or time to pursue other things of interest. I used to see my girlfriend one day a week, and did so for a year and a half. We used to chat on the phone every night, but then it turned into every few days towards twice a week. People just get tired of the same old thing.
You feel as though you are being mistreated or that he doesn't love you as much as he may have in the past. He prolly still cares for you, but you're threatening it by being debbie downer with him all the time. Pessimistic comments, behavior, agruments, and stuff like that reeeeally reaaaaally ruin relationships far more than people even realize it. Then they blame it on random problems when infact its just their personality that's ruining the relationship. Just be an open, happy, positive person. Don't smother him by needing to know everything about him 24/7 easy back on the rope alittle.. he needs some slack to move around. Good luck! I'm sure you'll be fine.

Answer 2

after two yrs with your boy friend you should know that things were going to change,
and what do you mean you don't know how to express your feelings "TWO YEARS" what were you doing within thoughs yrs, playing games?
the problem is not just you not being able to express yourself, the problem is that the two of you did'nt take the time! conversation is the key to all things. You know why you're questioning your thoughts on being with this guy? you truely do not trust him and you are afraid that he is with another girl other than yourself. I'll bet that you don't have problems with guys paying attention to you in college or understanding where you are coming from,

understand where you are and where he is,
life goes on and so do we, it does'nt matter if you are away, what you need to do is buck up and stop crying!!
You don't need help, you need a friend a person who will always be there no matter where you go, no matter what you say or how it is said. all you have right now is "Part" a (boy) he's not your friend. Plus, a woman does'nt trust other women around there men anyways, but my question to you is: how can you not trust other girls around him but trust him? This letter (Relationship Problems) is your first step of speaking your mind and for what it is worth you do know what to do, your true answer lay deep within your topic, meaning: Youve already answered your own question.

Answer 3

You have to stay what you are feeling. If you can't then why are you with him? He should make you feel like you could tell him anything. I know that's not always the case. Sometimes it's not the other person that makes you feel that way, you think that way because of insecurities or fear. You have to overcome that if you are going to be in a relationship. but most importantly for yourself. figure out what exactly it is that you can't express to him or other people. And gradually work on sharing those facts or feelings with people until it isn't an issue to talk about anymore. I used to be very shy and found it hard to talk about certain stuff. Now it's crazy because I almost can't stop myself. I just blurt stuff out. Even stuff that I don't really want people to know but i talk about it anyway. but in relationships, it's ok to talk about your feelings and problems. Tell him that you don't feel comfortable telling him certain things. Maybe by saying that to him, you will break down that barrier. It might be that since he talks to girls all the time you are guarding yourself or holding back part of yourself out of jealousy towards the problem instead of just being open and telling him how it is. That is hurts you. My boyfriend's ex was calling for four months after they broke up. And even after I moved to his state. She wouldn't give up. And neither did I. I kept telling him to stop answering her calls. He finally got the message that it was disrespectful to me and hurt me more than he knew. If he really cares for you then he'll listen to you and figure out how to respect your feelings. Even if it means talking to the girls when you are around him. Or coming over more often to prove to you that you are still an important part of his life. More than his friends that are girls.

Answer 4

Trust is a big part of a relationship if you dont have trust, you really dont have a relationship, you need to express all your concerns to your boyfriend especially since you've been with him for 2 years, nowadays thats a big accomplishment whether you see it or not, being with someone for two years, you should feel comfortable going to him for anything how do you think he would feel if he were reading this and knew you werent comfortable going to him with problems in the relationship he thinks he's having with you? he would probably feel insulted you need to get your mind together... maybe write down everything you want to say to him say it out loud in your head and get the courage to say it, because whats the point in being unhappy if you dont have to be?

Answer 5

Leave him alone for a while and do your own thing. Keep busy. Have some guy friends, go out with your own friends. Let him chace you. Be happy and busy and soon he'll miss you. He'll start to miss you iff he really cares about you. I know it's hard and you do want answers. He might be questioning the relationship. He might also be fooling around, it's hard to say. After two years you should have a bit of trust in the relationship so if your gut says he's cheating, he probably is. Just focus on yourself and keep busy. Chances are he'll come back to you if he really cares about you.

Answer 6

well the best thing to do now is to trust him now cos theres really no way that u can find out if he has something going on, so u kidna have to trust him now, but still pay attention to the details. a man that is in love and true hearted never hides, lies or disguise anything from u, on the other hand a man that cheats will eventually leak something, so try to pay attention the next time u meet, lke him walking away to have a private conversation, backing off wen being affectionate, etc... but dont take it overboard cos it turns off guys wen their girlfriend goes sneaking around

Answer 7

weigh the pros and cons of being in a relationship with this person. Being in a realtionship with someone is suppose to be benefical to both mates. Find out what makes you happy and follow your heart. If being with him is what makes you truely happy, then obtain the courage and let him know how you feel. If he rejects your feelings then you are better off without him! You need someone in your life who is going to do what makes you happy, not do what might upset you (talking to other girls/women) and will also be interested in hearing how you feel about things.

If he's not that kind of guy, move on. Because there are men out there who are!

Answer 8

I know how you feel!! i am young and i go to school so in summer it's hard because my bf does the same....I think you should just come out and say it instead of feeling miserable everyday like i do!!! You should call him or tell him in person how you feel and if he breaks up with you...he wasn't worth it..i know that you don't want to lose him it's hard!!! but would you rather lose a crappy boyfriend who never called...or suffer knowing he doesn't care! Good Luck!!!! =-]

Answer 9

I am sorry you're going through this...But the best thing to do is tell him exactly how you feel...Why stay in a relationship that isn't really working anymore..It seems as though you two are going to differents paths...But anyway talk to him and say exactly what and how you feel....

Answer 10

Honesty is the key. Communication should never die in a relationship, no matter if it's friendship or an intimate relationship. Do not let things go unsaid, you will always wonder!