i am only a teenager. i live with my parents. my dad have a very negative attitude towrds everything. He has verbally abused me and has physically abused me. I dont have any brothers or any close male family members. In fact the only male i am around is my dad. I dont mingle with boys at school because i dont know how to. Because when i talk to guys i always act weird/shy around them like there going to judge me like my dad does, or that im going to give them a bad attitude.I not a fat girl, im not ugly, and i have friends at school i have just been put down on by a male. What can i do to get over this?
thanks for reading.
2007-01-05 18:04:11 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm so sorry to hear about your abuse.. Why don't your mom. say something to your dad? That is so wrong.. Anyway, Don't feel like your weird, Just because your shy.. Most teens feel that way.. They just don't let on. Better shy, Then acting easy. The best thing to do is pray. Ask god to help you around people.. I know it sounds crazy.. But it works.. I used to be so shy.. People thought i was stuck up.. I prayed. Now, I can't stop talking.. Good luck. God Bless you.. Things will get better...
2007-01-05 18:16:28 · answer #1 · answered by Daris G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously intelligent enough to know that this abuse has affected you. Thee best thing you can do for yourself is to not get all caught up in the idea that you need a boyfriend because you are still learning who you are and where you wantt to go in this life! Plus if you start getting involved right now you're probably gonna start hookin' up with guys that have a similar attitude as your dad! you could get sucked into a cycle of bad relationships! It's better not to do this to yourself!
Once you know who you are and what you want thar's when you start to look for someone and you're gonna have a lot better chance at having a great relationship!
As far as talking to boys...just be yourself, they like it!
2007-01-05 18:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by peace2all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go mingle with the boys at school. It is difficult to deal with family members that treat you in an abusive way. This can affect your self confidence and your whole life if you let it. You will have to make up your minds to overcome it. Talk to a councilor maybe that would help.
2007-01-05 18:27:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to look at yourself in a positive way when you dad says something negative about you you tell yourself something good about yourself 10 times more. every guy is not your dad all guys are not bad you will run into a guy that you will be at ease with one day but for right now you need to think about asking to go talk to a therapist to sort out your feelings towards your father and to help you with your self esteem it seems as if he's breaking you down in more ways than one good luck and the sun has to shine some time.
2007-01-06 03:59:48 · answer #4 · answered by Spacious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Girl,
Don't let circumstances like your dad spoil your life. Your dad may be afraid of losing you, on account of loving you too much, or may be biased to women, or may have some problem. You have one dad and you have closed your eyes to others. People are not like your dad. they love other people, interact with them.
Your problem is that when ever you see a male, your mind cries out "Dad". So you try to move away. Try to identify one boy in your class or place who you would like to be your friend. Study him from the sidelines, observe him and see how different he is from your dad. Then after convincing your mind go and make friendship with this guy. He will naturally introduce you to his friends. Get to know them.
Unfortunately your dad being protective is reasonable because there are very dangerous people out there. So use your judgment, and opinions of friends before making a friendship.
2007-01-05 21:47:32 · answer #5 · answered by Ravichandran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there ...sweetheart you are going to have start looking at boys not the same way you deal with youre dad .....these boys at school re not going to judge you like youre dad.....they might wind you up a bit and tease you but that generally means that they like you .......thats the strange thing with boys .....look at them as friends say hi to one of them and just start chatting about a film or something ....anything .....and you will get past this ......you are very grown up to realise that this is a problem for you and you want this sorted out before it gets any worse ........you are taking control of what you want in life ......and you will get this sorted .....good luck and take care xx
2007-01-05 19:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're somewhat 'fixated' to the image of your authoritative dad. Struggle to get away from that fixation because not all dads are the same as your dad, there are other who are worst. Once you can get rid of that fixation, you'll be a leaf floating in a stream not a stone that simply gathers moss.
2007-01-05 18:14:59 · answer #7 · answered by Willie Boy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get help!
There are plenty of guys who are great out there.
I really hope you can find some help so you can find this out for yourself some day.
Is there anyone. a teacher, or a councillor, who you can talk to, you are probably afraid they will take you out of your home, but really would that be such a bad thing?
No one should have to live every day in fear.
Do you maybe have grandparents you could stay with?
2007-01-05 18:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by jrnwy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out there and be your self. Believe me the boys at your school wont be like your dad. and the longer you wait the harder it will become. The boys are sweet and just talk to them like mates.
... x o x o !
2007-01-05 18:07:29 · answer #9 · answered by ♥..::Amy::..♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish they did not have laws regarding child abuse. If they didn't, your dad would be in jail for assault (verbal abuse) and battery (hitting) and your mom would be in jail for neglect (if she doesn't know about it) or accessory (if she does know about it).
Call 1-800-4ACHILD and get a social worker out to investigate what's going on.
2007-01-05 19:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by nursesr4evr 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋