2007-01-05 17:58:08 · 9 answers · asked by chicalinda 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
We have very few power struggles, mainly we have them with our 3 and 4 year old daughters because they are too darn smart for their own good. We've learned to compromise or pick our battles with them, and extra episode of Dora at bedtime is NOT going to kill anyone... but all your carrots gotta be eaten before we get to watch Dora. Kids hear the words "No, Stop, Don't, etc." so much for so long, a little compromise has let my kids know that their feelings and opinions count, and that Mom and Dad can be reasoned with provided the argument is a decent one. When I was a kid, "Because I said so," just didn't seem fair, and I refuse to be that way with my kids. But they will listen to, "Because I'm the Mommy and I just don't want to right now." I think you have to let children have some measure of power over the unimportant things, or they may grow up thinking their opinion doesn't count. (I was an Eighties kid, so my parenting methods may be unconventional, but my kids are happy and well adjusted.)
2007-01-05 21:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by ihave5katz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should not enter into power struggles with your children as you are in control as a parent & any battles slowly diminish your own power. You make the decisions & set the appropriate boundries, not your children. Regular family conferencing where each person is allowed to express their thoughts/feelings without ridicule or arguement is a good way to help children feel they are important & valued.
2007-01-06 02:06:25 · answer #2 · answered by Mishell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I read an article once on giving children as many choices during the day as possible. Even if there isn't much of a choice to be made your constantly asking them to make a choice. This in turn makes them feel like they are in control. When the time comes for you to make a decision for them, it's much easier and they are more willing to accept the choice you made. This happens because they have had a full day of thinking, making choices, and controlling their environment. Kids like to feel like they are in control of their own destiny. It takes allot of work and creativity but I know that you can do it.
2007-01-06 07:37:32 · answer #3 · answered by Brian and Kari 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I used to have major power struggles with my son until I discovered that everything was negotiable, by giving him choices. Now I give him choices as much as possible, and pick my battles when there are no choices available (I said NO). The tantrums have dropped dramatically.
2007-01-07 22:22:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you set yourself up for a power struggle with your child, you had best be prepared to lose. Even if you "win" the argument, you have lost the war.
2007-01-06 17:25:26 · answer #5 · answered by dolphin mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I have a two year old that wants to be very helpful. She tries to help with the dishes and the laundry. She is very good at entertaining herself with her toys, and we build race tracks with her blocks. I guess she is just a well mannered child
2007-01-06 02:16:05 · answer #6 · answered by cassie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
some. I live by what my grandmother used to say, PICK YOUR BATTLES!!! if what he is doing will harm him, yes, and I will win, if its something like finnishing supper all in one shot, He has a choice, eat it and get a treat, or don't eat it and don't get one. same with picking up his toys and all of that stuff, he makes the choice and lives with the consiquences
2007-01-06 02:08:13 · answer #7 · answered by maggie s 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nope never did. Because I set rules and boundaries and they ere NON-NEGOTIABLE. I didn't argue. When I said "No", there was no "why" or "all the other kids do it" because I wasn't listening.
2007-01-06 04:16:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, because he knew we were the parents.
2007-01-06 08:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋