Cops Got Called on my 17 Year old and her Boyfriend...?

Question

Ok, Just to get right into my story and question.

My daughters boyfriend, 20, has recently got a little apartment that my daughter ,17, stays at once in a while. They have a one year old little boy.

I got a call the other night while I was at work, it was around 3am from a cop asking to come and get my grandson that my daughter and her boyfriend were going to jail for demesic violence.

Seems they got into an agrument and preceeded to beat the crap out of each other.

Not an excuse but the baby was in the other room and never woke up. The neighbors called the cops.

So, I lock up at work and run over, By the time I get there the cop has made a phone call and a local case worker has said that my daughter and grandson can come home with me, cause of her age and the case worker knows her and me and knows I work midnights and if i am takin care of the baby it is hard, so she was trying to be nice.

The boyfriend is in lock up for I HOPE a long time. This is a violation of his parole.

my daughter is sending him money and buying him clothes to have in there.

She has been off and on stayin at his apartment. I think this place is DUMP.!! She keeps it like her room at home. A PIG PEN.!! Garbage everywhere, stuff everywhere, NOTHING is clean. The bathroom smells like pee and the kitchen makes me want to puke..I mean it.

I have told her if she does not clean I am calling Social Services on her. I told her I do not want my grandson living in a place like that.

She thinks I am kidding. I told her she has two days to clean of I make a phone call.

Iam a wrong.? She says since it is not my place I can not tell her how to keep it clean.

There is still broken glass on the carpet where her and her boyfiend though glasses at each other. She hasn't even vacunm that up.

If I 'took' my grandson it would turn into a fist fight with her.

ISEEMEN :well first off how could you let your daughter get preg. by a 19 year old when she was 15 you made her bed now you need to take care of it

ARE YOU KIDDING>!! I LET my 15 year old get pregnent.? So I should have LOCKED her up till she was 18 and never let her out of my site, even to go to the bathroom.?

I like almost EVERY parent out there has had the 'talk' with their children and hoped that they were protected. Things happen and I am NOT TO BE BLAMED.

SGLMOM. I can't get a restaring order on my daughters boyfiend. She can but she wont. I can keep him away from my house but the judge will not keep them apart from each other.

Where I am at in KY the law is limit to yes I have a say over my daughter but I have little say over my grand son. If my daughter wants to bring him around her boyfriend then she can. No matter what I say .

She would NEVER say anything bad about him in court. 'She loves him".

LOGAN.. She is not LIVING with an older man. In KY the age of consent is 16 and she can date and have sex with him. I checked, trust me.

She has stayed at her boyfriend apartment. She does not live there. And because they have a child together the court does know about it. She is aloud to stay there once and a while.

I have asked the county att here can he be arested for getting her pregnent. He has said since my daughter was 15 when the baby was born and he was 19, there is not much I can do.

Answer 1

Welcome to my world , the world of loser children and their sorry good for nothing boyfriends. I have been though so much and still going though so much that all I can say is "pray" I have tried everything, their is nothing that I have not done but they still "love him" so Good Luck.

Answer 2

I am not sure what your question is but first off if any guy ever hits my daughter, I will personally beat the living sh** out of him. Second why is your underage daughter livng with an older man? It seems that at the time they had sex it might be called statutory rape. Third if your daughter is this messed up then maybe, and I hate to do this to an innocent baby, social services should take the baby.
It sounds like you have a sad situation all around and that you apparently are a single mom working her butt of for a spoiled child who has a child. You are at work so you can't even be a parent. Your daughter just has issues and her boyfriend is a cradle robber.
Sorry not much good I can say on this one

Answer 3

dont let ppl on here get to you... those who spout off judgments do not have kids, or if they do, they do NOT know what is going on like they THINK they do...... ok that said..... this is YOUR grand child here, and YOU have the moral obligation to make sure the child is safe, has food and shelter etc..........and comes to NO harm...... at the end of the day, that is a BABY you are talking about, helpless and innocent.... your daughter, tho only 17 is an adult by law and by the way she talks to you, thinks she is adult enough to run her own life... so let her, do NOT make threats !! state the facts and stick to them..... warn her once more about the state of the living conditions, give her resonable time, 48 hours to clean and make safe the apartment, then step up the heat....... I think by what I read you do have the case worker on YOUR side..... you can always give the child back to her at a later date when and if she PROVES that she is ready and capable of raising a child..... bottome line ?? YOU have to live the choice of doing something or looking the other way and living with the regrets if something happens to that baby !!! I am a grandmother soooooooooooo.... God bless

Answer 4

If teh age of consent is 16, like you said, and she became pregnant by this boy at 15, you need to talk to another attorney. I suggest you see a personal attorney for a free consultation, because the district attorney will be too busy to speak to you personally. All you need to do to prove that he had sex with her is a paternity test. The state must then prosecute the boyfriend on statutory rape. It doesn't matter if your daughter only speaks highly of him and "loves' him. I'm quite sure that KY law, like the law in most other states, indicates that the consent of the minor at the time of sexual intercourse is not a legal defense. This means that it doesn't matter if your daughter consented to the sex or not. The state still has the obligation to prosecute him.

Anyway, it is up to you to pursue this. As far as the messy house, yes, you need to contact social services about it. It is important for a child to live in a clean environment. However, do not use social services as a threat against your daughter. If investigators determine that the house is clean enough and you only made a report to get at your daughter, your daughter(if she pushes this), can press charges against you for making the report. Normally, somebody can't just press charges against another for social services reports because they are kept anonymous from the accused, but if you told her you were the one who called, then yes, she can. I just wanted to let you know. Good Luck!!

Answer 5

she's 17, yes she's not 18, but she is responsible it's her child i know you just want whats best but you can tell your kids over and over again what is good and bad and right and wrong the only way they learn is by going through it them selves, yes they might have accidents get heart but they wont do it again, it's her baby so it is instinctive to care for him/her no matter what she wouldn't let anything go to far if her boyfriend is a looser then she will realize eventually but if you keep going on at her she is more likely to fall out with you than him. maby tidy the flat yourself if it gets messed up its her problem

Answer 6

The problem is solved somewhat -- you have custody of your daughter and grandson, the boyfriend is in jail (domestic violence), and he (most likely) will have a restraining order on him ... so if your daughter DOES go to see him or live in the apartment with him, she WILL lose custody of her child! (This means, you will then be awarded Legal Custody).

YOUR daughter is going to have to testify against him for domestic violence.

Answer 7

Is it possible for to to sue for custody of your grandson due to the mother's inability to care for him? She doesn't have a job or a desent home, that ought to get the courts involved. Good luck with your whole situation.

Answer 8

Can they get some sort of counselling? They are both young to have the responsiblity of the baby. They need help to find better approaches than screaming and hitting.

Answer 9

Is that supposed to be a question or a story. Just for the record I would knock the sh** out of anyone who puts a hand on my child. I don't care if she did hit back already.

Answer 10

well first off how could you let your daughter get preg. by a 19 year old when she was 15 you made her bed now you need to take care of it