rose jokes? rating plz?

Question

There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.

The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"

The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again.

Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."

The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming! "You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"

The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"

"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date,wearing a see through blouse without a bra. Her grandmother had just pitched a fit with her, telling her not to dare to go out like that!
The teenager tells her, "Loosen up Granny. These are modern times. You can let your rosebuds show!", and out she goes.
The next day the teenager comes downstairs, and the grandmother is sitting here with no top on. The teenager wants to die.
She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.
The grandmother says, "Loosen up, Sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can also display my hanging rose gardens!

John went to his friend`s house unannounced, and he wanted to spend the night.
His friend was sorry that he could not offer him a whole room, so he said, "You can sleep on the floor in the living room, or you can sleep in the room with Baby."
John said that he would prefer the floor. The next morning he went to the bathroom, and there he met a gorgeous young blond.
"Hi," he said, "who are you?"
"I`m Baby, and who are you?"
"I`m stupid," he said.

Three women,A brunette,a redhead,&a blonde, all come home from work at the same time and get on the elevator.
The brunette notices a blob on the elevator wall & says,"Oh that looks like semen."
She reaches out and touches the blob with her fingers &says,"It feels like semen."
The redhead reaches out and touches it with her fingers,smells it,and says,"It smells like semen."
The blonde,reaches out and touches it with her fingers and then puts her fingers in her mouth and tastes it and says,"It doesn't taste like any1 in this buiding!"

Answer 1

cool

Answer 2

10/10

Answer 3

5/10.

Answer 4

ROTFLMAO... i agree this is 2 of the best jokes i've read out here in a long time.. hahahaha.. thanx for the really hearty laugh..

20/10 pts for u (10 pts on behalf of axilaryguy) lol

Answer 5

R O F L ....this is the most awesome joke that I have heard in a long time....bravo !!!!

...a definite 10 out of 10

Answer 6

That semen joke save the day....10/10

Answer 7

Pretty funny. 8/10.

Answer 8

1st joke: 10/10 (i thought it was hilarious)
2nd joke: 7/10 (didnt want to picture that! lol)
3rd joke: 7/10 (good story but not joke)
4th joke: 9/10 (that was really funny!!)

Answer 9

1st joke 8/10
2nd joke 8/10
3rd joke 7/10
4rth joke 10/10
all was funny

Answer 10

1. 9 out 0f 10
2. 8 out of 10
3. 8.5 out of 10
4. 7.5 out of 10.

thanks for the jokes....they make me laugh....

Answer 11

The last one mae me laugh. The first one wasn't very funny. Sorry