So upset---not about me?

Question

I am 35 and have a 4 month old baby with a 34 year old man and haven't heard from him since Tuesday--shouldn't he care?? He hasn't paid child support--I am not a loser as I have a great job and education--just lost on how a guy can just leave his child. Do men really not worry about their kids?

Answer 1

Hes either still in shock that hes a father now. He sounds irresposnsible and some men do worry about their kids.

~LD

Answer 2

I don't mean to sound sarcastic but, do you watch MAURY. Men do this everyday. Did you guys plan for this baby or did you just have unprotected sex? Parents to be need to really think about having a baby with a boyfriend or someone who is not committed to a long term relationship. The child is the one who be affected the most. You will have to step up and be a mother and a father if he chooses not to be there. You are the one who chose him. Hopefully his conscious will get the best of him and bring him to his senses. Your baby needs both of you. The worst thing you can do is try and control him with the baby. Tell him how you feel and then the ball is in his court. Good Luck. PEACE!

Answer 3

I suppose you are seeing what kind of person he really is. Maybe it is best for you and your baby that he is out of the picture, especially if he doesn't want to be there. Forcing him will not end positivly. I have been there, in some ways, and I am so happy with the way my life turned out.

I found out I was pregnant at 14 years old. I was dating the father just as revenge toward his friend, who was my ex. I was much too young to be making the kind of decisions I was making, but nonetheless, I was pregnant. He immedatly dumped me for his ex and did not speak to me for the whole 8 months I was pregnant. I went into labor early, but someone must have notified him because he showed up to the hospital and spent the night with me and our baby.

She was born in the end of November. He abandoned us on December 3rd. He left a few Christmas gifts for her on my front porch and was not heard from again. I decided to take him to court and there he decided he wanted nothing to do with me and our daughter. He signed on the dotted line and gave up all rights to her. This meant he was not going to pay child support but he was also going to have no visitation or rights to her in the future.

So I was a single teen mother (thank god for the support of my wonderful parents) going to school and working once I was old enough. I have now found the love of my life and as soon as we get married he is going to adopt my baby girl because he takes care of her like a father and loves both of us. I am so thankful that her biological father is out of the picture because he would have made the adoption process so difficult and I can't imagine sending her to his house on Christmas and weekends, etc. I am 18 now, my little one is 3. I go to college full time and I am making it in life. You can too, with or without your baby's father.

Sorry for the life story, but it feels so relevant to what you may go through. I am not saying that you should take the father of your child out of the babys life, but I am saying that it is possible and it may be a good option. I am sure glad I did. One day my daughter will find out who her real father is, I am never going to hide it from her, but she will also know that he chose to leave her when she was a baby.

If you need to talk about anything, my e-mail is [e-mail] GOOD LUCK!

Answer 4

some men do,some men don't. Maybe he's in love with someone else, then she comes first and his kid not. Some women have total control over men. I don't know what your situation is, but if he's one of those men, just go on with your life and forget about him, otherwise you will only have heartache. Oh yeah, go to court and get child support!

Answer 5

Do I understand you right here. you haven't heard from this man in 2 or almost 3 days? You're kidding about being all upset right?

Answer 6

Only the bad ones.